Life rolls on.
- So life has been pretty good lately. I can't sleep which is kind of a bummer. It's strange because I haven’t much in the past few days. Anyways.
- I’ve been keeping really busy going back and forth between home and New Brunswick. I sold merchandise for Stubborn at two shows over the weekend which was pretty cool. The Giants won the Superbowl which made my weekend. School has been pretty good lately too. They keep giving me a lot of work to do but I can’t complain. I guess that’s school for you. Haha
- I haven’t been writing as much music as I’d like to be, but I will as soon as I have time. I miss it. I’ve been listening to a large diversity of music though. I love when people expand your music taste or even open your mind back up to a style you used to be really into.
- I love working at my job at the record label. I feel like I am seriously training for something I want to do in my future. I do believe it is a farfetched idea to want to do something involving music, let alone a genre of music that isn’t very promotable in the music business world. It’s what I love, so I know I have to stick with it.
- In my English class today we were talking about death. He was talking to us about opening our minds to words and how to relate them in literature. How ironic that in literature we need to try not to take things so literal. Regardless, the reason I’m bringing it up is because we were talking about peoples thoughts of life after death. We talked about the thought of what’s going to happen and whether or not we were scared of death. Then he asked us what we felt would make the thought of death and acceptance of it capable. The thing about this subject is it is something I have seriously thought about. I do not fear death itself. I fear all of the people my death will affect after I die. I worry about how if I died, my mother would feel. I wonder how it would affect my friends and people who care about me. I don’t want to cause pain on my account. I know no matter it would, but I feel that if people knew I was going to pass away rather than I just died out of nowhere I would be able to tell them not to feel bad because it’s ok. I would tell everyone that I am ok with it so should they. I don’t necessarily look forward to it, but I really do want to find out what’s next. I have so much more I plan to accomplish, but who knows what’s next. It’s just not something I’m fearful of.
- Another thing we have been talking about it the forever growing epidemic across the world. Love. This is another very strong subject for me. A lot of people try to define what love is and how it is shown. It’s such a strange long idea to put into words but I have tried so many times. It’s not something concrete, yet with a will such a mine I feel in your mind you can make it something never ending. I have loved so many people in my life and have been done wrong so many times. If I was to write a list of all of the people I have ever loved it would probably have to get surgery on my hand.
I do feel there are many types of love also. The two most prominent styles of love for me are (loving someone) and (Falling in love). Falling in love to me is best described as a deep ecstatic feeling. Everything inside of your body, every single molecule is vibrating with bliss and when you’re with that person the world is a kingdom and you are king. When you are near that person lying close to them in a bed, or even holding hands you feel like you are floating and that if you could live in that moment for the rest of your life you would in a heartbeat. The problem about this kind of love is, from my experience, it doesn’t last forever. It’s actually is like a mental addiction. Your mind and body craves that ecstasy when you are not near them. When you aren’t with them you feel like you are going through a withdrawal almost and all you can think about is the next time you will see them. It is one of the most beautiful amazing and terribly painful experiences I believe a person can go through. On the other hand, I hope that everyone should be lucky enough to experience this at least once in their life.
Now loving someone is one of the most beautiful things us as humans can do. Loving someone can be between a friend, lover, or even a pet. Love is about caring. Love is beauty through your eyes. Whether the love is physical, mental, or aesthetic it is all love. With loving someone there are no boundaries. I love people I haven’t spoken to in years. I said earlier that in my mind it’s strange and is partly about will, and by this I meant that I feel you can stop loving someone, though throughout all of the hardships I have encountered with people who have been so dear to me to this day I still love them. I can’t help it. In the Buddhist religion it says to have compassion for all living things and understand and forgive them for what they do. I feel that people make evil and inconsiderate decisions in their life. We’re human beings and if we didn’t do the things we do it would make us inhuman. Basically what I’m trying to say is that people do terrible things but just because they do things that hurt me without considering it I could never stop loving them. It might mean I wouldn’t want to be around that person as much, though I will always love them, because at a time they meant something very dear to me, and I can’t forget the good times and let the bad spoil them.
Love is a beautiful thing.
I need to sleep. Haha.
Goodnight and Bless.