God... Am Such A Loser...
Well, There is still hope I may make it into that course I wanted to take. Yayness. I really hope so *crosses fingers* Well I was out job hunting the joys! Going Again Tomorrow as well. Got to talk and sit with my mom for a bit. LOL i love my mommy. She so funny. She meant to give me a thumb up for getting her coffee and she flipped me the middle finger. Hahahaha she laughed and told me she meant to give a thumb's up but i acted shocked and hurt thou i wasn't cause I'm use to her flipping me off. I want a copy of a pic of me and her from my sister's wedding a year ago. We looked really good, great pic of us. She posted a pic of me in her office. Her little freak daughter. But yeah... god this been bugging me ALL DAY! Vincent... God! He is everything and so great and god i love him so much! But last night. Just how we were. Just made me love him more and long to be his and for him to be mine. Like he had no one else to be with and talk with so he came to me. I felt like a last resort and said "yeah sorry you're stuck with me" He then grrr at me and said he was glad it was me cause i actually talk to him. I'm glad i made him happy in little way... well that is what i thought. cause i said i was glad i can make him somewhat happy. he told me you don't make me somewhat happy, you make me very happy if you haven't noticed. that made me feel so damn good and like smile so much on the inside. Thou he made me happier than how i was feeling with the whole OKtober thing. He knew something was up and asked me what was wrong. So i told him and he said he was sorry and that he wish he had words to help me out. Why he said sorry i don't know he didn't do anything. But just me, I'm alone always, even when I am with people. I'm just meant to be alone and told Vincent that. God what happened was a lot. He cried for me and said he wished he could be mine and take my pain away. God he is so sweet. Thou he holds a big spot in my heart and that i can hold and call my own. But he kissed my cheek and held me and everything so sweet! He may be with someones else he maybe married to her. But I'm here for him and i will always be. I know I am a fool but i love him so much... its not even funny. he just i don't know but i need sleep for now and to think... maybe clear my head on the subject... i can't wait to see him again he is so beautiful... god i smile just thinking about him... I'm such a loser!