oh really......
well it would seem everything in my live can be summed up by one single fucking word.... "irony"
most of you may be clueless as to what i'm talking about, and I'm not about to start explaining it. just everything comes together in one way or another for me to form one huge overwhelming picture that I cannot escape no matter how much i'd like to. it's been like this for a long ass time. now pieces are forming back together and the picture is a much brighter one, though, not the one I hoped for.
so the other night I was eating some chinese food and I get to my fortune cookie and eat it and i'm about to discard the fortune without eating it right away (unusual for me to do so). when I look down and see what it says, I can't help but laugh at it. I'm greeted with the words "and all for love and nothing for reward".... how odd... however much you don't believe my words when I say this, I do a lot in the name of so-called love, and it bothers me just how much people will go to take advantage of it like it's their god given right to do so. it makes me fucking sick.... it's the reason i don't even bother taking this "love" into consideration anymore. it's the reason i'm so fucking cold and hostile. however much you do or would do for a person because you care about them and hope they feel the same (even in some small way), they don't give a fuck at all. so yea doing anything out of love for nothing in return could be called my life story in a way. i know there's a few instances it could've been a little different, but you know what, what's done is done and there aint shit you can do to fix it. I've tried that, it just doesn't work. people are too fucking stubborn to admit they were wrong, and when they do see it, they become even worse than they were before. fuck that and fuck you.
the last entry i made isn't at all connected with this, well not chronologically... the poem came first and out of pure irony the fortune recieved dealt with the same shit in a way (to me anyway).
I'm done putting faith in people unless they've fully proven themselves worth my fucking time. might I add that many people are failing miserably at this. fucking bastards. to think, out of all the people I've met throughout all my days I've only come across maybe 4 that i can actually say "yes these people are my friends and will be until the day I die" then there are those rare (very rare) instances where upon meeting someone I say "wow you're a cool person and I can see myself being a good friend of yours (despite what my actions or words say). I've just become too cautious for my own good. i've ruined many good things. this time though, it's beyond my control, i've tried putting things right and have been greeted with a great big "i hate you go fuck yourself" from all directions. no more. no fucking more. it bugs the shit out of me too know people think so little of the relationships they have with others. I don't even mean the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship either... just basic human interaction has boiled down to being based on lying and general baseness. fuck this degenerating society.... i'm off to form my own fucking world... something I should've been doing all along, and had been in the process of doing so until I got thrown a huge fucking curveball. this time I'm waiting for it and I'll smash the bitch out of the god damn park if I have to. if you hoped to see me in a more pleasent mood, well be ready for a disappointment.... cuz that's all I've been feeding on for fucking years.... fuck you god damn bitches.... i'm through with this game.... find someone who still cares to leech off of until they're dry, and move the fuck on, cuz that's all you'll ever amount to.
most of you may be clueless as to what i'm talking about, and I'm not about to start explaining it. just everything comes together in one way or another for me to form one huge overwhelming picture that I cannot escape no matter how much i'd like to. it's been like this for a long ass time. now pieces are forming back together and the picture is a much brighter one, though, not the one I hoped for.
so the other night I was eating some chinese food and I get to my fortune cookie and eat it and i'm about to discard the fortune without eating it right away (unusual for me to do so). when I look down and see what it says, I can't help but laugh at it. I'm greeted with the words "and all for love and nothing for reward".... how odd... however much you don't believe my words when I say this, I do a lot in the name of so-called love, and it bothers me just how much people will go to take advantage of it like it's their god given right to do so. it makes me fucking sick.... it's the reason i don't even bother taking this "love" into consideration anymore. it's the reason i'm so fucking cold and hostile. however much you do or would do for a person because you care about them and hope they feel the same (even in some small way), they don't give a fuck at all. so yea doing anything out of love for nothing in return could be called my life story in a way. i know there's a few instances it could've been a little different, but you know what, what's done is done and there aint shit you can do to fix it. I've tried that, it just doesn't work. people are too fucking stubborn to admit they were wrong, and when they do see it, they become even worse than they were before. fuck that and fuck you.
the last entry i made isn't at all connected with this, well not chronologically... the poem came first and out of pure irony the fortune recieved dealt with the same shit in a way (to me anyway).
I'm done putting faith in people unless they've fully proven themselves worth my fucking time. might I add that many people are failing miserably at this. fucking bastards. to think, out of all the people I've met throughout all my days I've only come across maybe 4 that i can actually say "yes these people are my friends and will be until the day I die" then there are those rare (very rare) instances where upon meeting someone I say "wow you're a cool person and I can see myself being a good friend of yours (despite what my actions or words say). I've just become too cautious for my own good. i've ruined many good things. this time though, it's beyond my control, i've tried putting things right and have been greeted with a great big "i hate you go fuck yourself" from all directions. no more. no fucking more. it bugs the shit out of me too know people think so little of the relationships they have with others. I don't even mean the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship either... just basic human interaction has boiled down to being based on lying and general baseness. fuck this degenerating society.... i'm off to form my own fucking world... something I should've been doing all along, and had been in the process of doing so until I got thrown a huge fucking curveball. this time I'm waiting for it and I'll smash the bitch out of the god damn park if I have to. if you hoped to see me in a more pleasent mood, well be ready for a disappointment.... cuz that's all I've been feeding on for fucking years.... fuck you god damn bitches.... i'm through with this game.... find someone who still cares to leech off of until they're dry, and move the fuck on, cuz that's all you'll ever amount to.