Something has to change, an undeniable dilema
boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
So much for 2006 being better than 2005... it seems like I'm going back to '04 and before. So far all I've seen is bullshit and boredom. It's still early in the year though (like that makes it any better, another 11 1/2 months of this shit... great). Maybe I'm just not seeing something here. Maybe I need to open my eyes a little bit more. Or maybe I should just give up on it all and going back to being a hermit whom no one hears from for months at a time. Personally I'll take the solitude and silence. Catch up on some reading or something. No one really seems to care for hanging out with me anyways. I know that I've said all this before in pretty much the same words. I know that in the end I'll just keep going back to everything I hate, it interests me and at the same time sickens me.
Where is it written that we have to be happy and content at all times? It's just not possible. Some people are given wonderful lives, and some are handed shitty ass leftovers. I guess I'm just one of the ones who lead pointless lives that will never really amount to anything. I mean I have my hopes and dreams the same as everyone else, but with each passing day they fade away all the more. I guess there's not really room on this earth for people like me. Most of them go off to be serial killers and such (which does sound quite entertaining). As for me? I'm just gonna sit here and wait to die. As for all my hopes and dreams? I've thrown them away, they'll never lead to anything, even the smallest of them. If you'd like to argue it, go for it... It'll be one-sided anyway, cause I'm not even gonna bother.
You can say my outlook on life is as dim and dark as you'd like. I've seen all I need to of this planet to realize that we're all fucked anyway. What seperates us from the corpses in a graveyard? Nothing other than the fact that we're living and they aren't. So what if we have loads of money and countless possession, what do they matter when you're put into a casket? People who keep hope alive for eternal happiness are fools. Life cannot exist with nothing but joy, there always needs to be pain and sorrow to even it all out. I just happen to have more of the latter.
This is all so repetitive that it makes me sick. But I can't help but make these same observations time and time again. It's all I'm ever really shown. There are moments of actual happiness sprinkled here and there, but they are so brief I don't even have time to register the emotion before it's gone again. Thankfully I don't have any extremely bad situations going on, all the little ones do add up though (to quite a lot I might add). Whatever, I'm pretty sure my life is useless anyway. This is probably like the 20th entry here that say's all of this. I just needed to remind myself and organize my thoughts.
What I would give to have never been born at all. Everything I've come to know would be non-existant, and so would I. A whole life erased. Who would it really matter to, honestly? Everyone i know could carry on with thier lives perfectly fine without me. I'm not about to go and kill myself though. That's pathetic, and a cheap escape. I'm here now, so I'm gonna deal with it until the reaper comes for me, when it is really my time to go. Until then, I'll be preparing to greet him and leave this infernal world behind for good. Don't give me any of that "oh that's so fucking emo" bullshit either. Anyone who even knows me in the least bit can tell i'm far from what most people would call "emo". This is how I've come to view and accept the world. It's a sad place, and there's sad people. There are happy people too, don't get me wrong, I know that to be true.
So this is where I'll end this prolong ramble about how life sucks. Sorry for taking up your time (if you managed to read this far that is). Now I'm off to find something to do. Most of you I probably wont see for quite some time. I'm gonna just fly solo for awhile and try to forget everything I've ever learned about anything. Peace out mother fuckers...
So much for 2006 being better than 2005... it seems like I'm going back to '04 and before. So far all I've seen is bullshit and boredom. It's still early in the year though (like that makes it any better, another 11 1/2 months of this shit... great). Maybe I'm just not seeing something here. Maybe I need to open my eyes a little bit more. Or maybe I should just give up on it all and going back to being a hermit whom no one hears from for months at a time. Personally I'll take the solitude and silence. Catch up on some reading or something. No one really seems to care for hanging out with me anyways. I know that I've said all this before in pretty much the same words. I know that in the end I'll just keep going back to everything I hate, it interests me and at the same time sickens me.
Where is it written that we have to be happy and content at all times? It's just not possible. Some people are given wonderful lives, and some are handed shitty ass leftovers. I guess I'm just one of the ones who lead pointless lives that will never really amount to anything. I mean I have my hopes and dreams the same as everyone else, but with each passing day they fade away all the more. I guess there's not really room on this earth for people like me. Most of them go off to be serial killers and such (which does sound quite entertaining). As for me? I'm just gonna sit here and wait to die. As for all my hopes and dreams? I've thrown them away, they'll never lead to anything, even the smallest of them. If you'd like to argue it, go for it... It'll be one-sided anyway, cause I'm not even gonna bother.
You can say my outlook on life is as dim and dark as you'd like. I've seen all I need to of this planet to realize that we're all fucked anyway. What seperates us from the corpses in a graveyard? Nothing other than the fact that we're living and they aren't. So what if we have loads of money and countless possession, what do they matter when you're put into a casket? People who keep hope alive for eternal happiness are fools. Life cannot exist with nothing but joy, there always needs to be pain and sorrow to even it all out. I just happen to have more of the latter.
This is all so repetitive that it makes me sick. But I can't help but make these same observations time and time again. It's all I'm ever really shown. There are moments of actual happiness sprinkled here and there, but they are so brief I don't even have time to register the emotion before it's gone again. Thankfully I don't have any extremely bad situations going on, all the little ones do add up though (to quite a lot I might add). Whatever, I'm pretty sure my life is useless anyway. This is probably like the 20th entry here that say's all of this. I just needed to remind myself and organize my thoughts.
What I would give to have never been born at all. Everything I've come to know would be non-existant, and so would I. A whole life erased. Who would it really matter to, honestly? Everyone i know could carry on with thier lives perfectly fine without me. I'm not about to go and kill myself though. That's pathetic, and a cheap escape. I'm here now, so I'm gonna deal with it until the reaper comes for me, when it is really my time to go. Until then, I'll be preparing to greet him and leave this infernal world behind for good. Don't give me any of that "oh that's so fucking emo" bullshit either. Anyone who even knows me in the least bit can tell i'm far from what most people would call "emo". This is how I've come to view and accept the world. It's a sad place, and there's sad people. There are happy people too, don't get me wrong, I know that to be true.
So this is where I'll end this prolong ramble about how life sucks. Sorry for taking up your time (if you managed to read this far that is). Now I'm off to find something to do. Most of you I probably wont see for quite some time. I'm gonna just fly solo for awhile and try to forget everything I've ever learned about anything. Peace out mother fuckers...