(no subject)
Its incredible how I have the power to steer away EVERY boyfriend I have or have had. Yep, my self centredness took over again. Wahoo go me!
The story: It started Saturday when I woke up and it was raining out. Blah, I hate rain, puts me in a bad mood. Then, I went to write my G1 and failed the writing part 2 times but past the sign part on the first try with one wrong. I felt stupid. I'm writing it again next week. Because I was all bummed out I wanted my hair in those long braids that girls spend $180 on, if not more. I called around and this girl at Classic Cuts or something like that, said she'd do it for $80 so I went I said yeah, why not? I get home in a bitch mood and take it out on Ben, and started ranting about how he doesn't talk to me and how he's always tired or sleeping or too busy to talk to me and then that turned into calling him the worst boyfriend and then I said it..."I don't want to be with you anymore."I didnt mean it and so then he was like, well I don't want you to leave and so after a half an hour of hearing him say that, I said I'd stay with him. I was actually convinced that he was going to break up with me so I said it first before he could. Then Friday (yesterday) I came home mad again because I had a bad day at work and because I was sending him text messages throughout the day and the only thing he said was ok love ya. That blew a fuse and I freaked out again, but this time he was like, I think I should be alone...Yep. My life sucks. See what happens to me, I don't think about what Im saying, I just say it and, my big mouth lost me my boyfriend. I tried to say sorry and how I never meant it and I begged for him not to leave me and he was like let me think about it. That killed me. I got NO sleep at all. So, today comes and I got my hair done and it looks great, its really long braids and it has cotton candy pink through it. But Ben still doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not. He's suppose to be at my house by now, well soon anyways. I guess we're talking face to face, I'm scared. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I hope he doesn't leave me. Because I love him to death. And, I really never meant anything I said but I don't think he believes me.
The story: It started Saturday when I woke up and it was raining out. Blah, I hate rain, puts me in a bad mood. Then, I went to write my G1 and failed the writing part 2 times but past the sign part on the first try with one wrong. I felt stupid. I'm writing it again next week. Because I was all bummed out I wanted my hair in those long braids that girls spend $180 on, if not more. I called around and this girl at Classic Cuts or something like that, said she'd do it for $80 so I went I said yeah, why not? I get home in a bitch mood and take it out on Ben, and started ranting about how he doesn't talk to me and how he's always tired or sleeping or too busy to talk to me and then that turned into calling him the worst boyfriend and then I said it..."I don't want to be with you anymore."I didnt mean it and so then he was like, well I don't want you to leave and so after a half an hour of hearing him say that, I said I'd stay with him. I was actually convinced that he was going to break up with me so I said it first before he could. Then Friday (yesterday) I came home mad again because I had a bad day at work and because I was sending him text messages throughout the day and the only thing he said was ok love ya. That blew a fuse and I freaked out again, but this time he was like, I think I should be alone...Yep. My life sucks. See what happens to me, I don't think about what Im saying, I just say it and, my big mouth lost me my boyfriend. I tried to say sorry and how I never meant it and I begged for him not to leave me and he was like let me think about it. That killed me. I got NO sleep at all. So, today comes and I got my hair done and it looks great, its really long braids and it has cotton candy pink through it. But Ben still doesn't know if he wants to be with me or not. He's suppose to be at my house by now, well soon anyways. I guess we're talking face to face, I'm scared. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I hope he doesn't leave me. Because I love him to death. And, I really never meant anything I said but I don't think he believes me.