(no subject)
it makes me sick to my stomach that i dont know whats going on. its sucks sooo much now i dont even know if we should be together ever again i feel as though you started to have other feelings for someone else and that you didnt want to tell me so you thought they would pass but they didnt so you would take a break. i dont know if i want to be with someone who has hurt me unbelievably. all i think about what could i have done different... im sick of constantly thinking about you and knowing you probably hardly think of me. i think back to all the little things i didnt see before like you never calling me never kissing me always wanting to be with your friends and it makes me feel so horrible and stupid. i wish i knew exactly whats going on and why. i dont think i will be able to date for a very very very long time and i dont want to face the fact that nothing will probably be the same. it would hurt beyond words to see you with someone else and i hate thinking about it but i guess if thats what you want im not going to force you to love me and unfortunately this has left me feeling that i will never find someone to love me honestly. i know everyone shouldnt hate you and i try not to but i cannot feel any other way right now because for 2 years i have loved you soooooo much and yes i had my doubts at times but what im feeling now lets me know i really did and do love you. why is everyone telling you youll be ok and im sorry brian...you dont know if you love me wheres my support everyone tries to cheer you up but you act as though you dont really care anymore. its hard to sleep or do anything i can only think about how my heart has been truly hurt and i dont know if i will ever fix it.