Oct 19, 2005 08:04
i wake up in such shitty moods. i mean wtf? why cant shit be easier? then again who says i have it so hard anyway. im good at complaining. and thats what i'll stick to. i cant even sleep at nights and i dont want to wake up the next mornings. im like a train wreck. i dunno. i never thought things would be this hard. shit, fuck... fuck fuck fuck. this sucks. i'm going down in a downward spiral and i cant just keep my emotions cool for more than an hour. i'm terrible at this. but i blame myself. it isnt any of our faults. but i still blame myself. kinda stupid. either way i know things are gonna be ok. and one day things will be just the way i want them. its just taking so fucking long. guess its just a part of life. you just gotta deal. finding new ways to cope with this is hard. too hard to imagine. i feel like such a dick. things are perfect in a sense but fuck, why cant things just be perfect? i'm not saying i'll ever give up. i'm just saying this is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with. no one knows what its like. i wake up in such shitty moods. why cant shit just be easier?
i love you though...
...forever