Lost or completely found?
So 2007 seems to have been a roller-coaster so far this year. In the short time, I have gained new friendships, lost some old ones, put some on hold for the time being, have had friends move closer, and it seems as I might have one friend who is leaving the state for the good ole city of Portlandia (I'm sure everyone knows who this is). And with this I have stayed quite level, tried to keep my emotions from taking over and so far I have done a good job in my opinion.
However, it wasn't until coming back to San Francisco from a bender of a weekend in Vegas that I really realized that I have nothing at all to be down about and that I have worked so hard to have this amazing opportunity in front of me. I was sitting on the Muni, coming home from school, and was totally at ease with everything around me. I have discovered that it is great to listen to airy, softer music while traveling throughout the city. It gives the city such a different feel. Without the music you can be quite overwhelmed with things going on around you and all the crazyness of the city. However, with this music you are almost forced to let those negative things go, let the confusion go, and really look towards the beauty that this city has to offer. Looking at the architecture, the colors, the people, and everything else that can express beauty around you, one can easily get lost in the glory of it all.
Not only that, but over the past six months I have become complacent in my routines and travels within the city. It wasn't until I went out with my brother over the weekend that I realized I was in personally uncharted territory. It's a great feeling to know where you are but almost be completely lost at the same time. We wandered around and found new places that otherwise I would have never knew existed. I need to make it a point to explore this city and really get to know the ins-and-outs of it.
Finally it comes to my life itself. Some decisions as of late have been quite easy, while others have been difficult, but through and through, I know I am making the right decisions for me. This is a new concept for me. Although for the past six months I had been having fun and living life, I was at the same time not 100% certain of things. Now I am quite certain that this is what I want to do with my life and this is where I am supposed to be and want to be at the same time. I'm finally getting used to living with my brother again, even though it was a little difficult at first, I have come to figure him out once again, seeing as I hadn't lived near or with him for four years prior. But things are finally flowing smoothly and I have been feeling quite confident with myself and my life as of late, even though school is kicking my ass right now. But I have never been one to regret things in my life and why start now? Here's to making the rest of 2007 awesome and a kick ass year as it has been so far.
However, it wasn't until coming back to San Francisco from a bender of a weekend in Vegas that I really realized that I have nothing at all to be down about and that I have worked so hard to have this amazing opportunity in front of me. I was sitting on the Muni, coming home from school, and was totally at ease with everything around me. I have discovered that it is great to listen to airy, softer music while traveling throughout the city. It gives the city such a different feel. Without the music you can be quite overwhelmed with things going on around you and all the crazyness of the city. However, with this music you are almost forced to let those negative things go, let the confusion go, and really look towards the beauty that this city has to offer. Looking at the architecture, the colors, the people, and everything else that can express beauty around you, one can easily get lost in the glory of it all.
Not only that, but over the past six months I have become complacent in my routines and travels within the city. It wasn't until I went out with my brother over the weekend that I realized I was in personally uncharted territory. It's a great feeling to know where you are but almost be completely lost at the same time. We wandered around and found new places that otherwise I would have never knew existed. I need to make it a point to explore this city and really get to know the ins-and-outs of it.
Finally it comes to my life itself. Some decisions as of late have been quite easy, while others have been difficult, but through and through, I know I am making the right decisions for me. This is a new concept for me. Although for the past six months I had been having fun and living life, I was at the same time not 100% certain of things. Now I am quite certain that this is what I want to do with my life and this is where I am supposed to be and want to be at the same time. I'm finally getting used to living with my brother again, even though it was a little difficult at first, I have come to figure him out once again, seeing as I hadn't lived near or with him for four years prior. But things are finally flowing smoothly and I have been feeling quite confident with myself and my life as of late, even though school is kicking my ass right now. But I have never been one to regret things in my life and why start now? Here's to making the rest of 2007 awesome and a kick ass year as it has been so far.