mixtapes and masterpieces...~
Ah im not really a fan for some reason of typeing in here at this hour because i find it easyier to vent frustration at night,wierd no?...yes.
i seriousely need to find out a way to make my journal friends only because its so pissing me off because im sure i had it as friends only yet im still getting people who i dont want to read my journal some how maneageing to and its like please just argh why!?im seriousely contemplateing just destroying anything i have profile wise or malarky on the internet because no matter what ill still get stressed out and i swear i wouldnt be half as stressed sometimes if it wasnt for the one thing i usely turn to for amusement.theyll never respect my privacey.
again Elaine im pretty sure its you and can you please just get out my life one minute you love me the next you hate me and i honestly cant handle these childish ongoings where i have to change my accounts to stop being harrassed i mean what the fuck you even got me here!?please im quite liturally begging you now.
i was meant to write in here last night because i was so stressed and pissed off beyond belief but instead had a seriousely 3 hour long bath to try and soak the tension out.i read emmas lj post which i think she put up a few days ago and it kind of touched on scene kids and malarky and how she and i do exactly the same will take the piss out of all the little emo bastards walking round but then i thought holy shit i swear when i walk in to pubs now i feel so self conciouse and intimerdated because im so sure people must look at me and think you fucking emo scenester bastard and im just looking at my self in the mirror and thinks its vile what ive become what i first thought was my own style something i was happy with is now justb a fad,im a fad,im i a scenster?
i dont know what else to say but i just feel kind of and i know its wierd but dirty because all i was happy with has been tainted and i swear to god if one pre teen ass hole calls me emo im going to rip my hair off and beat them to a bloody pulp with it i cant even begin how much this is starting to fucking annoy the shit out of me, specailly when half these fags havnt even got a clue im honestly thinking about prehaps shaveing my head takeing anything different or what ever off all piercings and just wearing white normal clothes although then im sure id be labeled again or some malarky i honestly im going so fucking frustrated and pissed off with this and feel like im a 14 year old kid who should had a freaking linkin park top on and never have my fingers out of the metal pose.
went to city saturday...i wish i hadnt...i got with this girl called michelle i wish i hadnt it turns out now i know her sister...fan-fucking-tastic, i was fucked out my tree and regreat it now and feel kinda bad because i dont even know maria at all but apparently she super liked/likes? me and it really upset her which i felt like a dick for.michelle asked if i had protection i said no i lied..i wish i hadnt now, fuck doing the right thing anymore because girls are all fucking useing twats anyway and im just going to use them back now. be this really typical male people sterotype as i mean come one i might as well not dissapoint people and just be a sterotype.i also saw elaine at city and she always gives me this dirty look like im doing something wrong when shes with a guy her self!i mean holy shit i dont see what ive done wrong and if shes going to jump to conclusions about things then its her own fucking fault,i know shes going to read this and lol i hope your happy when you read it because im sure its what you want to see.
emma called me up befor city it didnt even sink in till she hung up i couldnt believe one phone call would actually make me feel so happy...but then i felt like shit because i then never saw her at city god damn.oh yeah i seriousely also think people should be more carefull with what thier doing at city im honestly from now only touching alchol and thats it because everyones getting far to fucked up on pills i mean i saw marsell how ever his name is spelt haveing sex in the corridor openly near the upstairs toilets its pretty flipping sickening and crazy and you could tell as soon as he turned around and started danceing with his penis out about how he got laid while the girl just walked off looking humilated and sickend he was on pills,it was pretty messed up.
also ive come to the conclusion im not going to stop smokeing and im also not going to cut down on drinking because its two of the little things in life which give me a slight bit of relaxation i dont carer if itll kill me ill come to that hurdle when it comes.
i cant stand that ive been back from prague 3 days im already back in a routine im seriousely thinking about jacking everything in getting a job working my ass off for a year or something and then going travelling.
i had so much more to say but meh i cant even scratch the surface.
your all so fake apart from a hand full of people.
i wish people would just refer to me instead of the 3rd person...now im a hypocrite.
i have the dentist now...shit, will probberly vent more later.~
i seriousely need to find out a way to make my journal friends only because its so pissing me off because im sure i had it as friends only yet im still getting people who i dont want to read my journal some how maneageing to and its like please just argh why!?im seriousely contemplateing just destroying anything i have profile wise or malarky on the internet because no matter what ill still get stressed out and i swear i wouldnt be half as stressed sometimes if it wasnt for the one thing i usely turn to for amusement.theyll never respect my privacey.
again Elaine im pretty sure its you and can you please just get out my life one minute you love me the next you hate me and i honestly cant handle these childish ongoings where i have to change my accounts to stop being harrassed i mean what the fuck you even got me here!?please im quite liturally begging you now.
i was meant to write in here last night because i was so stressed and pissed off beyond belief but instead had a seriousely 3 hour long bath to try and soak the tension out.i read emmas lj post which i think she put up a few days ago and it kind of touched on scene kids and malarky and how she and i do exactly the same will take the piss out of all the little emo bastards walking round but then i thought holy shit i swear when i walk in to pubs now i feel so self conciouse and intimerdated because im so sure people must look at me and think you fucking emo scenester bastard and im just looking at my self in the mirror and thinks its vile what ive become what i first thought was my own style something i was happy with is now justb a fad,im a fad,im i a scenster?
i dont know what else to say but i just feel kind of and i know its wierd but dirty because all i was happy with has been tainted and i swear to god if one pre teen ass hole calls me emo im going to rip my hair off and beat them to a bloody pulp with it i cant even begin how much this is starting to fucking annoy the shit out of me, specailly when half these fags havnt even got a clue im honestly thinking about prehaps shaveing my head takeing anything different or what ever off all piercings and just wearing white normal clothes although then im sure id be labeled again or some malarky i honestly im going so fucking frustrated and pissed off with this and feel like im a 14 year old kid who should had a freaking linkin park top on and never have my fingers out of the metal pose.
went to city saturday...i wish i hadnt...i got with this girl called michelle i wish i hadnt it turns out now i know her sister...fan-fucking-tastic, i was fucked out my tree and regreat it now and feel kinda bad because i dont even know maria at all but apparently she super liked/likes? me and it really upset her which i felt like a dick for.michelle asked if i had protection i said no i lied..i wish i hadnt now, fuck doing the right thing anymore because girls are all fucking useing twats anyway and im just going to use them back now. be this really typical male people sterotype as i mean come one i might as well not dissapoint people and just be a sterotype.i also saw elaine at city and she always gives me this dirty look like im doing something wrong when shes with a guy her self!i mean holy shit i dont see what ive done wrong and if shes going to jump to conclusions about things then its her own fucking fault,i know shes going to read this and lol i hope your happy when you read it because im sure its what you want to see.
emma called me up befor city it didnt even sink in till she hung up i couldnt believe one phone call would actually make me feel so happy...but then i felt like shit because i then never saw her at city god damn.oh yeah i seriousely also think people should be more carefull with what thier doing at city im honestly from now only touching alchol and thats it because everyones getting far to fucked up on pills i mean i saw marsell how ever his name is spelt haveing sex in the corridor openly near the upstairs toilets its pretty flipping sickening and crazy and you could tell as soon as he turned around and started danceing with his penis out about how he got laid while the girl just walked off looking humilated and sickend he was on pills,it was pretty messed up.
also ive come to the conclusion im not going to stop smokeing and im also not going to cut down on drinking because its two of the little things in life which give me a slight bit of relaxation i dont carer if itll kill me ill come to that hurdle when it comes.
i cant stand that ive been back from prague 3 days im already back in a routine im seriousely thinking about jacking everything in getting a job working my ass off for a year or something and then going travelling.
i had so much more to say but meh i cant even scratch the surface.
your all so fake apart from a hand full of people.
i wish people would just refer to me instead of the 3rd person...now im a hypocrite.
i have the dentist now...shit, will probberly vent more later.~