(no subject)
i've been thinking about love, marriage, family and relationships of late. nope, joshua and i aren't thinking of tying the knot just yet nor have there been any talk in that area. its just the things that are happening around me that seem to be trying to speak to me in some way, making me think about it.
last night, mum and dad had a pretty bad argument. it started in the morning really, but i wasn't around because i went to church early for worship practice. and then when xw and i came home in the evening, she told me about it and then daddy made us sit down to listen to his side of the story. and so the argument sort of dragged on till the night. i was shut off in my room reading because i was really tired, i wasn't in the mood to go involve myself in their argument. in fact i fell asleep shortly after. but anw, as the argument was sort of ongoing, i just stopped tuning in to what the actual quarrel was about and turned more instead to the dynamics of the couple involved - mummy and daddy. heh i dunno.. its like i suddenly asked xw, "hmm do you think if joshua and i ever got married, and with him being so sweet to me now, would we ever suddenly find ourselves on such different wavelengths and with such seemingly clashing personalities?" and cynical xw was like "yaaa of course la. all couples become like that eventually lor" and i was like really? i dunno mann.
and then today my poor boy was sick so i went over to his place for lunch and then to sort of take care of/ accompany him and i happened to have brought along this dvd "fireproof", a bday present from tzeryun which i hadn't watched yet. and it just so happened that joshua's church was showing the movie ytd to the congregation and then preaching about it ytd just that he didn't manage to catch it since he was down sick. so we watched it and well, it just sort of rang out in my head that i have to let dad and mum watch the dvd. reflecting the man and woman's pov during a marriage between two people who seemed to no longer be compatible for each other because they were so different and couldn't understand the other. that two people could be so in love initially and yet years into their marriage, it all falls apart.
but then, after dinner today at grandma's, i watched the channel 8's life transformers which touched me as always. i love that show because its so heart warming:) and the family that was showcased today was just filled with such love for one another. the dad had a chronic illness and couldn't work. the mum's post natal depression wasn't properly treated and it resulted in her having a slight mental illness and depression, behaving like a young child. the condition of their flat was just terrible, with fat blood-filled fleas infesting so many areas. cockroaches everywhere in the kitchen area... yet, they loved each other so much. such simple love. and the hostess is right, that on first glance, the dad seemed to be those rough type who only knew how to shout at the son but when he saw how much effort the volunteers were putting to make his house more homely, he was so touched and moved beyond words, so filled with gratitude. and he was happy, and seeing him happy, his wife was happy too. and their son, is so obedient. he's but 11 but he struggles as best as he can to show love and filal piety to his parents.
see, this is what marriage is about. the vows you make on that special day, its for life. and if being thrown into such harsh conditions doesn't cause their marriage to fall apart, i dunno what can. yet i know this is slightly fairytale thinking because studies have shown (and i have actually studied these studies in family sociology) that families are changing. that marriage is becoming disintituionalized. that couples are seeking more for self-development and and having more divorces:( so sad. marriage is such a sacred union by God. its a convenant, not a contract. i hate that my words sound vaguely incoherent and very poorly phrased on something that seems to have been in my face alot the past 2 days.. roar.
heh ok i sound like i am dying to get married. and yes, i do wanna get married some day and i hope more than not that it'd be a happily ever after but its not a must-happen-now kinda thing. ahha let God guide:)
on another note, i hate it when bf is sick because he looks positively miserable and lifeless:(