Bye Bye Mom
So the visit is over....three weeks this time. Having a long time with your parent is interesting as it reconfigures the look of the past. I was such an unhappy depressed and angry child and I see that I misunderstood the motives of my parents. Where I thought they didn't like me, were disappointed in me, now I wee that they were wierdos too, and didn't really know how to communicate with me in any effective way. My mother's sense of humor is a little rude (*if you could see yourself bending over you would never eat again*) and she is opinionated and bossy. My daughter tells me that I am the same, which is frightening but probably true. She is also unable to express love in words or physical gestures which must have been hell on the marriage since my dad was a sex deviant/maniac/perv. When I hug her, she doesn't put her arms up to hug back, so its like hugging a lamppost, but she smells good. We had fun, she is a *good sport* (somehting highly valued in my family, and which seemed to include smiling through any cruel jabs or mockery) and tho she has a hard time walking for long, she can muster up the energy to shop for me and the children. I like that about her! She seems so mild and agreeable now, and she doesn't remember ever being any other way, although I have WITNESSES to her previous nastiness. I am still slightly intimidated by her, but I love her and we really only had one slightly bad spell about her resetting the settings on my computer, breaking the printer twice and making the computer totally crash one morning...then offering advice on how to fix it (*just turn it off and on again, it;ll be fine*) while I was madly working in safe mode. I gained 6 pounds while she was here, which I think is kinda a tribute to her cooking, although I think it may have to do with all the ice cream, cookies and candy she imported daily. She is old, and I dread her death while I am thankful that I have children so I won't be alone. We were patient with each other. I am glad to have the house back, but it wasnt't too bad, and she is a good girl afterall.