The next phase...
Throwback nearly exactly 11 months to the day, 23 July 2016.
I drove tentatively to the volunteer information day...tentative because I was no confident driver trying to make the 47km journey involving potentially busy smaller roads...tentative because I have no idea what to expect, it's been something I've wanted to do for like forever and finally took this 4th baby step (step 1 research, step 2 phone call, step 3 register)...tentative because known change was in the air for me and a lot of things were a big unknown for me at that point...
At the end of the session I was excited, bright eyed bushy tail for the first time in a long time and couldn't wait to start work.
As I drove home, the sky turned a heavy grey... and I had a moment of self doubt, is this a sign of my decision, not just for this but the journey ahead......
And before my eyes it was...
The most glorious complete double rainbow flanked by the dark grey and so bright that the space between them was nearly black......
An unbelievable picture of nature in its amazing glory...
Trust me, I was that close to stopping by the highway to take a photo.
At that moment I know it was a sign. It was the right decision, I was embarking on the right path for the unknown journey......
Fast forward to today, I had made a difficult decision to resign from the volunteer work....
I feel quite useless, why can't I manage my time better, why can't I juggle everything better, why can't I be like one of those super humans who have 3 jobs, family and extended families to look after, volunteers, bakes the cakes for parties, attends every social event, probably sings and dance perfectly at the parties and is the most amazing person on earth?! Plus I'm sure they're doing their Masters at the same time, runs their own business on top of the jobs, and have 50 hobbies that they pursue actively.
Much as it kills me to admit defeat in not being to juggle everything, what's killing me more is I have to stop doing something I'm very passionate about. But, I have to do this to pursue the other passion to be better at this in the long run, I need to think long term.
Even more importantly, I've been unfair to the organisation. They've been so accommodating with my hours in the last 6 months with my schedule and crazy life happenings...they need someone who can commit to fixed schedules...I'm being selfish if I don't give it up...
My little consolation is I'm proud of how I've grown as a person, better at evaluating my life and making decisions and changes to improve myself and my life.
This is just a break.
I'll go back as a better person and helper and be able to contribute more. That much I promise myself.
Picture sourced from Google for something as close as possible a representation of what I saw. The space in between I now learn is called Alexander's band.
I drove tentatively to the volunteer information day...tentative because I was no confident driver trying to make the 47km journey involving potentially busy smaller roads...tentative because I have no idea what to expect, it's been something I've wanted to do for like forever and finally took this 4th baby step (step 1 research, step 2 phone call, step 3 register)...tentative because known change was in the air for me and a lot of things were a big unknown for me at that point...
At the end of the session I was excited, bright eyed bushy tail for the first time in a long time and couldn't wait to start work.
As I drove home, the sky turned a heavy grey... and I had a moment of self doubt, is this a sign of my decision, not just for this but the journey ahead......
And before my eyes it was...
The most glorious complete double rainbow flanked by the dark grey and so bright that the space between them was nearly black......
An unbelievable picture of nature in its amazing glory...
Trust me, I was that close to stopping by the highway to take a photo.
At that moment I know it was a sign. It was the right decision, I was embarking on the right path for the unknown journey......
Fast forward to today, I had made a difficult decision to resign from the volunteer work....
I feel quite useless, why can't I manage my time better, why can't I juggle everything better, why can't I be like one of those super humans who have 3 jobs, family and extended families to look after, volunteers, bakes the cakes for parties, attends every social event, probably sings and dance perfectly at the parties and is the most amazing person on earth?! Plus I'm sure they're doing their Masters at the same time, runs their own business on top of the jobs, and have 50 hobbies that they pursue actively.
Much as it kills me to admit defeat in not being to juggle everything, what's killing me more is I have to stop doing something I'm very passionate about. But, I have to do this to pursue the other passion to be better at this in the long run, I need to think long term.
Even more importantly, I've been unfair to the organisation. They've been so accommodating with my hours in the last 6 months with my schedule and crazy life happenings...they need someone who can commit to fixed schedules...I'm being selfish if I don't give it up...
My little consolation is I'm proud of how I've grown as a person, better at evaluating my life and making decisions and changes to improve myself and my life.
This is just a break.
I'll go back as a better person and helper and be able to contribute more. That much I promise myself.
Picture sourced from Google for something as close as possible a representation of what I saw. The space in between I now learn is called Alexander's band.