(no subject)
So..haven't updated in a bit..figured it was time.
So, this weekend has been horrible. Really bad. I'm sure some of you might remember my grandma that I complain about here in my journal. Well, my dad found her dead in her apartment Friday evening.
We hadn't heard from her all week, and really didn't suspect anything. She's gone places before and we haven't heard from her in days before, so it was nothing unusual. So people started calling Wednesday and couldn't get a hold of her. So, we called both of her phones, no answer. My dad went over and said someone was in her visitor spot, so he figured she had company, thought nothing of it, and came home. Friday we get more calls saying no one has heard from her. So, my step-mom and 2 little brothers and I followed my dad over there since we were all on our way to Wal-Mart. We get there and sit in the truck. Few minutes later, my step-mom comes out and tells me to take my brothers home. I asked her if something was wrong and she just gave me a look. So as we're pulling out of the parking lot, an ambulance and fire truck are pulling in, and I started thinking bad. I knew something was wrong, but didn't know the extent. So about an hour later, they come home, and my dad told my brother and I that she was gone. I was just..numb. I had a feeling, but didn't want it to be true. So Friday was horrible. I told my mom, people were told about it, I broke down a couple times..yeah..just not good.
Apparently she passed on Tuesday. We were told that it was of natural causes, there was no trauma, and it was quick. I'm glad that she wasn't in pain when she passed, but I feel so bad, I don't know what to do.
The last time I talked to her on the phone, I was just..I guess annoyed you could say. She called nearly everyday just to see what we were doing, and this was nothing unusual. I was always annoyed when she'd come over 'cause she'd always find something for me to do or she would talk to me about stuff over and over again. I understand that she always wanted nothing but the best for me, but I always got so annoyed. I don't even remember what our last conversation was about. All I remember was not really paying attention to what she was saying, just kinda saying "yeah" every now and then. I'm not sure, but I may have been the last one in the family to talk to her. I'm not positive on that, but I feel so fucking guilty now for the way I talked to her. I feel really bad now 'cause I was always annoyed by her. But now I just wish that she'd come over one more time and ask me to do something or call and tell me she needs me to do this or that. I dunno..I'm still just kinda numb.
So the funeral and everything is set for Tuesday. So I'll be gone all day, and won't be on much the next few days. I was asked to be a pallbearer along with my brother (who will be 16 in a few weeks), my dad's uncle, my grandfather-in-law, uncle, and one of my grandma's friends.
So, I probably won't be on much the next couple of days. Theres a lot that has to be done as far as getting stuff settled with her. So..I'll be back eventually.
So, this weekend has been horrible. Really bad. I'm sure some of you might remember my grandma that I complain about here in my journal. Well, my dad found her dead in her apartment Friday evening.
We hadn't heard from her all week, and really didn't suspect anything. She's gone places before and we haven't heard from her in days before, so it was nothing unusual. So people started calling Wednesday and couldn't get a hold of her. So, we called both of her phones, no answer. My dad went over and said someone was in her visitor spot, so he figured she had company, thought nothing of it, and came home. Friday we get more calls saying no one has heard from her. So, my step-mom and 2 little brothers and I followed my dad over there since we were all on our way to Wal-Mart. We get there and sit in the truck. Few minutes later, my step-mom comes out and tells me to take my brothers home. I asked her if something was wrong and she just gave me a look. So as we're pulling out of the parking lot, an ambulance and fire truck are pulling in, and I started thinking bad. I knew something was wrong, but didn't know the extent. So about an hour later, they come home, and my dad told my brother and I that she was gone. I was just..numb. I had a feeling, but didn't want it to be true. So Friday was horrible. I told my mom, people were told about it, I broke down a couple times..yeah..just not good.
Apparently she passed on Tuesday. We were told that it was of natural causes, there was no trauma, and it was quick. I'm glad that she wasn't in pain when she passed, but I feel so bad, I don't know what to do.
The last time I talked to her on the phone, I was just..I guess annoyed you could say. She called nearly everyday just to see what we were doing, and this was nothing unusual. I was always annoyed when she'd come over 'cause she'd always find something for me to do or she would talk to me about stuff over and over again. I understand that she always wanted nothing but the best for me, but I always got so annoyed. I don't even remember what our last conversation was about. All I remember was not really paying attention to what she was saying, just kinda saying "yeah" every now and then. I'm not sure, but I may have been the last one in the family to talk to her. I'm not positive on that, but I feel so fucking guilty now for the way I talked to her. I feel really bad now 'cause I was always annoyed by her. But now I just wish that she'd come over one more time and ask me to do something or call and tell me she needs me to do this or that. I dunno..I'm still just kinda numb.
So the funeral and everything is set for Tuesday. So I'll be gone all day, and won't be on much the next few days. I was asked to be a pallbearer along with my brother (who will be 16 in a few weeks), my dad's uncle, my grandfather-in-law, uncle, and one of my grandma's friends.
So, I probably won't be on much the next couple of days. Theres a lot that has to be done as far as getting stuff settled with her. So..I'll be back eventually.