(no subject)
So i've decided I need to figure myself out and get my shit together really quick before I screw up my social life and my future forever. I've been sooo insecure and pathetic and lazy lately. I can't even like, return phone calls, or make steady plans --or make a phone call without fucking them up or getting like a colony of butterflies in my stomach. I don't know what it is. Are they like signs of like..depression. I mean yea i've been like..down about a few things here and there lately..but i've been okay i think.
I need to set up myself a schedule because I need to 1. get in shape 2. see more of my friends A LOT more 3. work my ASSSSSS off in school or I will NOT receive a diploma and/or be able to Cheerlead this year or my senior year 4. Go shopping and make myself look like I am IN fact..a female. --because I am..i swear.
I've been so lazy, I put either like, sweatpants and a jacket or sweatshirt on every day..or if not that then i'll like find some jeans on my floor and throw on a sweatshirt with that. Like I don't own a skirt..I don't own a nice outfit..I don't own nice jewelry. I have this like addiction or sickness where the ONLY thing I buy is t-shirts and jeans..like..I'm not a friggin butch ass construction worker..seriously.
All my friends have been in a tizzy with me because I suck at accomplishing anything in the means of hanging out or receiving/returning phone calls..and i apologize right now for that. I've been trying to hang out with old friends lately..like Kelly. To me it seems to be working out okay..I just don't know if the old friends still enjoy my presence as much. Things are different and I don't feel comfortable as I wold like to. I wish I could go back to like..how easy life was in like 7th grade.
I don't know why, because this has never really been a problem for me. But really, school has been the hardest thing in my life right now, like 100% the hardest thing. And it could be a result of my laziness. But its not like I have the outlook of "I don't give a fuck if I have a successful future or not..whatever happens happens"..because its not like that AT all I DO care about graduating..I DO care about getting into a school I want to get into. I DO care about working in some sort of Forensics field. And I know with my GPA of fucking 1.97 I won't get into Westfield State, or Becker College, Or Mount Ida..its commen sense..those schools WONT take me. I do try, I do do my work, I made the mistake of going to FL for a week which set me back like 3 times more than I already am. And I can't complain about my classes because I know Seniors whose Junior year last year was complete hell with all the work they got, I don't even have that many projects or assignments. Just I always get shitty fucking grades..and I do study, and I do review..like God hates me and refuses to let me have a successful career. Yes.
Okay well im done complaining, comment with any ideas if you want.
Thanks
<3Taylor
I need to set up myself a schedule because I need to 1. get in shape 2. see more of my friends A LOT more 3. work my ASSSSSS off in school or I will NOT receive a diploma and/or be able to Cheerlead this year or my senior year 4. Go shopping and make myself look like I am IN fact..a female. --because I am..i swear.
I've been so lazy, I put either like, sweatpants and a jacket or sweatshirt on every day..or if not that then i'll like find some jeans on my floor and throw on a sweatshirt with that. Like I don't own a skirt..I don't own a nice outfit..I don't own nice jewelry. I have this like addiction or sickness where the ONLY thing I buy is t-shirts and jeans..like..I'm not a friggin butch ass construction worker..seriously.
All my friends have been in a tizzy with me because I suck at accomplishing anything in the means of hanging out or receiving/returning phone calls..and i apologize right now for that. I've been trying to hang out with old friends lately..like Kelly. To me it seems to be working out okay..I just don't know if the old friends still enjoy my presence as much. Things are different and I don't feel comfortable as I wold like to. I wish I could go back to like..how easy life was in like 7th grade.
I don't know why, because this has never really been a problem for me. But really, school has been the hardest thing in my life right now, like 100% the hardest thing. And it could be a result of my laziness. But its not like I have the outlook of "I don't give a fuck if I have a successful future or not..whatever happens happens"..because its not like that AT all I DO care about graduating..I DO care about getting into a school I want to get into. I DO care about working in some sort of Forensics field. And I know with my GPA of fucking 1.97 I won't get into Westfield State, or Becker College, Or Mount Ida..its commen sense..those schools WONT take me. I do try, I do do my work, I made the mistake of going to FL for a week which set me back like 3 times more than I already am. And I can't complain about my classes because I know Seniors whose Junior year last year was complete hell with all the work they got, I don't even have that many projects or assignments. Just I always get shitty fucking grades..and I do study, and I do review..like God hates me and refuses to let me have a successful career. Yes.
Okay well im done complaining, comment with any ideas if you want.
Thanks
<3Taylor