Comatosis to revival through messaging programs...
Well, days have passed onward since the whole "Situation" i had. needless to say, i think i've made a decision, it'll hurt for a while and i'll probalby post alot about it to vent shit and what not... but i would certainly appreciate your support on the decision or if at all possible offer better advice or ways to pursue this, your help is always appreciated because mr. "Relation-O-know-it-all" hasn't any advice this time, self-medication was never a really good strong point in my life so... here is a convo i had with my friend and the invisible (6th) bandmate of my band that really helped put things in perspective: (Notice, I'm theevennicerguy, margo = robot suit)
[23:39] TheEvenNicerGuy: heyya margo
[23:39] robot suit: hey will
[23:40] TheEvenNicerGuy: as a friend, i am asking for some advice, care to help me?
[23:40] robot suit: i can try
[23:40] TheEvenNicerGuy: thanks i appreciate it, okay now second question, short story or long story?
[23:41] robot suit: short story and then elaborate if i need ya to
[23:41] TheEvenNicerGuy: that's a great idea, thanks :D
[23:41] TheEvenNicerGuy: okie day.... here's short story, remember jessie right?
[23:41] TheEvenNicerGuy: brought her to studio day of recording?
[23:41] robot suit: not really, but im bad with names
[23:41] robot suit: oh yeah, i remember her
[23:41] TheEvenNicerGuy: there we go ;)
[23:42] TheEvenNicerGuy: mmkay short story time.. Will meets jessie a month ago, things hit of, things go good, two weeks pass
[23:42] robot suit: what about her?
[23:42] TheEvenNicerGuy: will feels oddly drawn to her more so than expected
[23:42] TheEvenNicerGuy: Will "Falls" for jessie
[23:43] TheEvenNicerGuy: week later, things heat up.... sorta, but whatever, two get closer, will feels greater than ever
[23:43] robot suit: uh huh
[23:44] TheEvenNicerGuy: sharp turn occurs days later, finds out jessie is going back to former boyfriend, will hurts and drinks self to stupidity and such
[23:44] TheEvenNicerGuy: unable to talk and cope with loss, will sleeps, wakes up, still depressed and saddened
[23:44] robot suit: ouch
[23:44] TheEvenNicerGuy: gets a call at work near end of shift, jessie's concerned, worried and what not, asks will to talk
[23:45] TheEvenNicerGuy: will agrees and heads to jessie's place, a would-be 10 minute "Get the fuck outta my life, Will" talk turns into three hour talk, sob(on her behalf), cuddle and kiss session
[23:46] TheEvenNicerGuy: both agree that dating isn't appropriate at the time, but still feels bewildered, jessie and will settle on a "Whatever happens Happens" relationship thingy, Will is confused, appeased, but ultimatlely unsure of himself.
[23:47] TheEvenNicerGuy: will picks up best friend of 4 years, danny, goes off and gets "420ed", next day
[23:47] TheEvenNicerGuy: Will thinks more and more and is ultimately decisive
[23:49] TheEvenNicerGuy: will ponders as he realizes situation, but shrugs off and calls jessie, finds out their plans that week are blown on behalf of her..... boyfriend.... will's a lilttle jealous (He's only human) and ponders summore, comes to making a choice: A. Cut off the relationship, brutally and honestly as possible as he's always done but losing a friend and "Possible" significant other... or B. Make it painful to himself by letting things burrow and in the end only hurting self more so and ultimately resulting to the consequence of in turn A.....
[23:50] TheEvenNicerGuy: that's as short as i can get it
[23:50] robot suit: cut it off.
[23:50] robot suit: why stick with something that leads you to destructive behavior.
[23:50] TheEvenNicerGuy: exactly
[23:51] robot suit: i dont necessarily think that it's her fault. she cant make you feel anything, that's on you. so the question is, why continue to allow the pattern of self destruction? you're into a girl who just has a lot of shit on her plate, which has nothing to do with you, however when she drags you into it, it does.
[23:52] TheEvenNicerGuy: regardless of her wishes, it'll only put me in a predicament regardless, why punish myself over something that didn't work the first time... at first i didn't want to admit that to myself, "Compromising" in other words but if i do that, it'll end up just like the rest of my past relationships, brutally spiteful in the end and hard on myself
[23:52] TheEvenNicerGuy: never said its her fault
[23:52] TheEvenNicerGuy: its obvious its mine
[23:52] robot suit: no
[23:52] TheEvenNicerGuy: i knew that from the start of the whole mess
[23:52] robot suit: what im trying to say is
[23:52] robot suit: shit
[23:52] robot suit: i mean 1. girls who are half way relationships shouldnt get involved.
[23:53] robot suit: emotional baggage is bullshit.
[23:53] robot suit: so the mature thing is to wait and give yourself time to see if moving on from a person is right for you, and if it is, fully move on before starting something new and just creating more problems. that shit, is her fault.
[23:54] robot suit: not judging, just saying.
[23:54] robot suit: everyone is guilty of it.
[23:54] TheEvenNicerGuy: no no i always respect your opinions because "oddly" enough, you and I somewhat think alike
[23:54] TheEvenNicerGuy: i just needed reassurance to know its the right thing
[23:55] robot suit: yeah
[23:55] TheEvenNicerGuy: welp, it was fun while it lasted, but time to cut the bitch off like a pit-viper in circus solele
[23:55] robot suit: but its sad that you go straight to drinking and drugs as an escape.
[23:56] TheEvenNicerGuy: indeed
[23:56] TheEvenNicerGuy: but its no escape really
[23:56] TheEvenNicerGuy: to be honest with ya, its no escape
[23:56] TheEvenNicerGuy: its a temporary overcast that gives me time to think
[23:56] robot suit: i mean, you know you're smart, and that sort of thing isnt a smart thing to do.
[23:57] robot suit: thinking, no. hahah you cant think while you're fucked up. i mean, you can, but rationally? no. so really it gives you time to be irrational.
[23:58] TheEvenNicerGuy: pretty much, i know that, but i figured it best to be messed up then to mess up myself, which is more of an "Insta-cure" that leads to another problem, i've had drug problems for a good part of my life, i keep it under the down low these days but sometimes, when incredibly emotionally destressed, i turn towards it, either way, with or without the drugs, i made irrational decisions
[00:00] TheEvenNicerGuy: i dunno but ultimately you're right
[00:01] TheEvenNicerGuy: it was irrational and stupid, i should've just thought it out without the drugs instead of seek temporary healing
[00:01] TheEvenNicerGuy: and you're right, i need to cut this relationship off, regardless of the talk and somewhat making things sorta (Not even fucking close to) clear, i can't carry that weight
[00:02] TheEvenNicerGuy: i appreciate your advice and opinions, really i do and i bid thank you
[00:02] robot suit: you are very welcome
so now i'm in a dilemma, should it be the next day or maybe later, or right fucking now or not at all??? assistance please... i DON'T want a repeat like my many previous relationships and you guys having no choice but to read about the same "OMG WILL's GONE EMO" shit" so assist away... thank you for your time!!!
[23:39] TheEvenNicerGuy: heyya margo
[23:39] robot suit: hey will
[23:40] TheEvenNicerGuy: as a friend, i am asking for some advice, care to help me?
[23:40] robot suit: i can try
[23:40] TheEvenNicerGuy: thanks i appreciate it, okay now second question, short story or long story?
[23:41] robot suit: short story and then elaborate if i need ya to
[23:41] TheEvenNicerGuy: that's a great idea, thanks :D
[23:41] TheEvenNicerGuy: okie day.... here's short story, remember jessie right?
[23:41] TheEvenNicerGuy: brought her to studio day of recording?
[23:41] robot suit: not really, but im bad with names
[23:41] robot suit: oh yeah, i remember her
[23:41] TheEvenNicerGuy: there we go ;)
[23:42] TheEvenNicerGuy: mmkay short story time.. Will meets jessie a month ago, things hit of, things go good, two weeks pass
[23:42] robot suit: what about her?
[23:42] TheEvenNicerGuy: will feels oddly drawn to her more so than expected
[23:42] TheEvenNicerGuy: Will "Falls" for jessie
[23:43] TheEvenNicerGuy: week later, things heat up.... sorta, but whatever, two get closer, will feels greater than ever
[23:43] robot suit: uh huh
[23:44] TheEvenNicerGuy: sharp turn occurs days later, finds out jessie is going back to former boyfriend, will hurts and drinks self to stupidity and such
[23:44] TheEvenNicerGuy: unable to talk and cope with loss, will sleeps, wakes up, still depressed and saddened
[23:44] robot suit: ouch
[23:44] TheEvenNicerGuy: gets a call at work near end of shift, jessie's concerned, worried and what not, asks will to talk
[23:45] TheEvenNicerGuy: will agrees and heads to jessie's place, a would-be 10 minute "Get the fuck outta my life, Will" talk turns into three hour talk, sob(on her behalf), cuddle and kiss session
[23:46] TheEvenNicerGuy: both agree that dating isn't appropriate at the time, but still feels bewildered, jessie and will settle on a "Whatever happens Happens" relationship thingy, Will is confused, appeased, but ultimatlely unsure of himself.
[23:47] TheEvenNicerGuy: will picks up best friend of 4 years, danny, goes off and gets "420ed", next day
[23:47] TheEvenNicerGuy: Will thinks more and more and is ultimately decisive
[23:49] TheEvenNicerGuy: will ponders as he realizes situation, but shrugs off and calls jessie, finds out their plans that week are blown on behalf of her..... boyfriend.... will's a lilttle jealous (He's only human) and ponders summore, comes to making a choice: A. Cut off the relationship, brutally and honestly as possible as he's always done but losing a friend and "Possible" significant other... or B. Make it painful to himself by letting things burrow and in the end only hurting self more so and ultimately resulting to the consequence of in turn A.....
[23:50] TheEvenNicerGuy: that's as short as i can get it
[23:50] robot suit: cut it off.
[23:50] robot suit: why stick with something that leads you to destructive behavior.
[23:50] TheEvenNicerGuy: exactly
[23:51] robot suit: i dont necessarily think that it's her fault. she cant make you feel anything, that's on you. so the question is, why continue to allow the pattern of self destruction? you're into a girl who just has a lot of shit on her plate, which has nothing to do with you, however when she drags you into it, it does.
[23:52] TheEvenNicerGuy: regardless of her wishes, it'll only put me in a predicament regardless, why punish myself over something that didn't work the first time... at first i didn't want to admit that to myself, "Compromising" in other words but if i do that, it'll end up just like the rest of my past relationships, brutally spiteful in the end and hard on myself
[23:52] TheEvenNicerGuy: never said its her fault
[23:52] TheEvenNicerGuy: its obvious its mine
[23:52] robot suit: no
[23:52] TheEvenNicerGuy: i knew that from the start of the whole mess
[23:52] robot suit: what im trying to say is
[23:52] robot suit: shit
[23:52] robot suit: i mean 1. girls who are half way relationships shouldnt get involved.
[23:53] robot suit: emotional baggage is bullshit.
[23:53] robot suit: so the mature thing is to wait and give yourself time to see if moving on from a person is right for you, and if it is, fully move on before starting something new and just creating more problems. that shit, is her fault.
[23:54] robot suit: not judging, just saying.
[23:54] robot suit: everyone is guilty of it.
[23:54] TheEvenNicerGuy: no no i always respect your opinions because "oddly" enough, you and I somewhat think alike
[23:54] TheEvenNicerGuy: i just needed reassurance to know its the right thing
[23:55] robot suit: yeah
[23:55] TheEvenNicerGuy: welp, it was fun while it lasted, but time to cut the bitch off like a pit-viper in circus solele
[23:55] robot suit: but its sad that you go straight to drinking and drugs as an escape.
[23:56] TheEvenNicerGuy: indeed
[23:56] TheEvenNicerGuy: but its no escape really
[23:56] TheEvenNicerGuy: to be honest with ya, its no escape
[23:56] TheEvenNicerGuy: its a temporary overcast that gives me time to think
[23:56] robot suit: i mean, you know you're smart, and that sort of thing isnt a smart thing to do.
[23:57] robot suit: thinking, no. hahah you cant think while you're fucked up. i mean, you can, but rationally? no. so really it gives you time to be irrational.
[23:58] TheEvenNicerGuy: pretty much, i know that, but i figured it best to be messed up then to mess up myself, which is more of an "Insta-cure" that leads to another problem, i've had drug problems for a good part of my life, i keep it under the down low these days but sometimes, when incredibly emotionally destressed, i turn towards it, either way, with or without the drugs, i made irrational decisions
[00:00] TheEvenNicerGuy: i dunno but ultimately you're right
[00:01] TheEvenNicerGuy: it was irrational and stupid, i should've just thought it out without the drugs instead of seek temporary healing
[00:01] TheEvenNicerGuy: and you're right, i need to cut this relationship off, regardless of the talk and somewhat making things sorta (Not even fucking close to) clear, i can't carry that weight
[00:02] TheEvenNicerGuy: i appreciate your advice and opinions, really i do and i bid thank you
[00:02] robot suit: you are very welcome
so now i'm in a dilemma, should it be the next day or maybe later, or right fucking now or not at all??? assistance please... i DON'T want a repeat like my many previous relationships and you guys having no choice but to read about the same "OMG WILL's GONE EMO" shit" so assist away... thank you for your time!!!