It Gets Better - what I think
By now, most everyone knows of the Trevor Project and the It Gets Better project that was started by Dan Savage. As with anything in the real world, there's difference of opinion on how useful/necessary/inclusive/accurate they are.
The thing that I love about It Gets Better is that, despite being started by one person, it's not owned by one person. Dan Savage may have started and publicized it, he may have his own human and imperfect opinions but he does not and has not even tried to put a particular spin on the project. The It Gets Better project reminds me, in a lot of ways, of Fandom (note the capital) in that no one has a valid claim on enforcing tone or content. In every vid out there, we're seeing the direct voice of thousands of people -- good, bad, incoherent, ignorant, hopeful ... and all of them, in turn, reaching out to others. And for all those voices out there, in ASL and in text, in music and in cartoon ... there is someone for whom that vid, that voice is perfect, and is exactly what they need to hear, right then.
So, yeah, Dan Savage has his flaws. Other voices might be too white, too heteronormative, too controlling, too false, too loud, too soft ... but none of them are proclaimed as absolute truth and all of them will reach someone. Lifesavers come in different flavors and the vid from the devout Catholic author with his Torchwood and Buffy vids stacked on his desk may be exactly the voice someone needs to survive their day.
For all the imperfections and because of all its imperfections, the It Gets Better Project is perhaps one of the most effective queer movement I've seen in my lifetime. So much of public queer information has been carefully groomed, since the 80's, to achieve a particular political need, or to sway the dominant het world -- this is, oddly, for all it's directly tied to a very political need, unlike most other messages presented. It's direct, it's as honest as every person out there who's made a vid is willing to be.
In short: those are actual queer voices, or allies who actually care. It's not commercials, not a script, not carefully constructed to produce the 'right' message, these aren't PSA pablum messages. It's us. Talking to us.
That said, here are some of the videos that I think are important or spoke to me.
Kate Bornstien. I think her vid is the most important, the one that says the one thing that people in despair need to hear, without sugarcoating. She's a wonderful person, thoughtful and articulate and funny.
You can do anything you need to make your life more worth living. Don't be mean.
This video is the one I think that is the most honest, useful voice speaking directly to those of us who are struggling. Another older voice, showing us that not only can you survive high school, you can survive an entire life.
My partner, watching some of these, mentioned that high school kids aren't the only ones who need these vids. He and I searched the archive for older queers -- because he and I have been out of high school for decades but we both need to know it's possible to get old, it's possible to get old and be happy.
Sister Unity - one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
The Sisters have been doing their thing for decades and I deeply admire and love drag queens. They seem to be a slowly fading aspect of queer life (another thing I hate about assimilation) and I will be sad if they dissapear entirely. Drag Queens have been defying laws, conventions, and good taste for so very long, they're the often forgotten leaders of queer movements (because they look too 'outrageous' for mainstream sensibilities) and every significant Royal Court has a social services aspect. The Sisters are one of the best, most organized organizations of drag queens -- and undoubtedly one of the most fabulous.
If you're a fabulous drag queen, or want to be, consider joining the Sisters.
Buck Angel! The first FtM porn star!
He's a great guy, and really, really courageous. He's also a spectacular voice for FtM trans men who get at least some surgery. Also, great looking.(Watch:if you do a search on him, you will get NSFW images)
The Episcopal Bishop of Chicago:
He is one of the few religious voices says what needs to be said:
"They are wrong."
I'm not religious in any organized sense and I have serious issues with most organized religions and Christianity in particular, but I also respect when voices within that community are willing to speak.
And for the queer cartoons out there:
"Being a kid sucks."
It's lovely, strange vid. It's also a nicely, weirdly honest voice.
Two very brave men:
And I did want to mention Spirit Day or purple day or whatever its being called. I've heard a few voices talking about how they didn't particularly see the value of a special, color coded day. I think that's not a well thought out opinion.
I believe that the most difficult, horrible aspect of being queer -- for most -- is that it can be totally swept under the rug. The vast majority of queers are totally invisible when walking down the street. It's possible, especially if you don't have unfettered access to the 'net, to believe you are the only one who feels like you do. Or wants what you want. The choice to put on a purple dress, shirt, tie, wig or pants is a way to see and be seen. To be present in world that would just prefer to pretend we don't exist -- and goes out of its way to enforce that pretense.
It's a day when queers don't have to be invisible pink unicorns; everywhere but unbelieved in.
This entry was originally posted at http://xtricks.dreamwidth.org/53259.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
The thing that I love about It Gets Better is that, despite being started by one person, it's not owned by one person. Dan Savage may have started and publicized it, he may have his own human and imperfect opinions but he does not and has not even tried to put a particular spin on the project. The It Gets Better project reminds me, in a lot of ways, of Fandom (note the capital) in that no one has a valid claim on enforcing tone or content. In every vid out there, we're seeing the direct voice of thousands of people -- good, bad, incoherent, ignorant, hopeful ... and all of them, in turn, reaching out to others. And for all those voices out there, in ASL and in text, in music and in cartoon ... there is someone for whom that vid, that voice is perfect, and is exactly what they need to hear, right then.
So, yeah, Dan Savage has his flaws. Other voices might be too white, too heteronormative, too controlling, too false, too loud, too soft ... but none of them are proclaimed as absolute truth and all of them will reach someone. Lifesavers come in different flavors and the vid from the devout Catholic author with his Torchwood and Buffy vids stacked on his desk may be exactly the voice someone needs to survive their day.
For all the imperfections and because of all its imperfections, the It Gets Better Project is perhaps one of the most effective queer movement I've seen in my lifetime. So much of public queer information has been carefully groomed, since the 80's, to achieve a particular political need, or to sway the dominant het world -- this is, oddly, for all it's directly tied to a very political need, unlike most other messages presented. It's direct, it's as honest as every person out there who's made a vid is willing to be.
In short: those are actual queer voices, or allies who actually care. It's not commercials, not a script, not carefully constructed to produce the 'right' message, these aren't PSA pablum messages. It's us. Talking to us.
That said, here are some of the videos that I think are important or spoke to me.
Kate Bornstien. I think her vid is the most important, the one that says the one thing that people in despair need to hear, without sugarcoating. She's a wonderful person, thoughtful and articulate and funny.
You can do anything you need to make your life more worth living. Don't be mean.
Click to viewThis video is the one I think that is the most honest, useful voice speaking directly to those of us who are struggling. Another older voice, showing us that not only can you survive high school, you can survive an entire life.
My partner, watching some of these, mentioned that high school kids aren't the only ones who need these vids. He and I searched the archive for older queers -- because he and I have been out of high school for decades but we both need to know it's possible to get old, it's possible to get old and be happy.
Sister Unity - one of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence
The Sisters have been doing their thing for decades and I deeply admire and love drag queens. They seem to be a slowly fading aspect of queer life (another thing I hate about assimilation) and I will be sad if they dissapear entirely. Drag Queens have been defying laws, conventions, and good taste for so very long, they're the often forgotten leaders of queer movements (because they look too 'outrageous' for mainstream sensibilities) and every significant Royal Court has a social services aspect. The Sisters are one of the best, most organized organizations of drag queens -- and undoubtedly one of the most fabulous.
If you're a fabulous drag queen, or want to be, consider joining the Sisters.
Buck Angel! The first FtM porn star!
He's a great guy, and really, really courageous. He's also a spectacular voice for FtM trans men who get at least some surgery. Also, great looking.(Watch:if you do a search on him, you will get NSFW images)
The Episcopal Bishop of Chicago:
He is one of the few religious voices says what needs to be said:
"They are wrong."
I'm not religious in any organized sense and I have serious issues with most organized religions and Christianity in particular, but I also respect when voices within that community are willing to speak.
And for the queer cartoons out there:
"Being a kid sucks."
It's lovely, strange vid. It's also a nicely, weirdly honest voice.
Two very brave men:
And I did want to mention Spirit Day or purple day or whatever its being called. I've heard a few voices talking about how they didn't particularly see the value of a special, color coded day. I think that's not a well thought out opinion.
I believe that the most difficult, horrible aspect of being queer -- for most -- is that it can be totally swept under the rug. The vast majority of queers are totally invisible when walking down the street. It's possible, especially if you don't have unfettered access to the 'net, to believe you are the only one who feels like you do. Or wants what you want. The choice to put on a purple dress, shirt, tie, wig or pants is a way to see and be seen. To be present in world that would just prefer to pretend we don't exist -- and goes out of its way to enforce that pretense.
It's a day when queers don't have to be invisible pink unicorns; everywhere but unbelieved in.
This entry was originally posted at http://xtricks.dreamwidth.org/53259.html. Please comment there using OpenID.