What is your name miss? MelodyWestVa
Well today was a very intresting day at the Monongah Post Office. It was full of chaos, secret identities, drama, a phone call from a certain liason, and a bartender.
What is wrong with society when I ask a lady who is filling out an application for her name and she replies, "MelodyWestVa". I gave a puzzled look and she look appauled that I would even consider looking at her in such a manner. I just calmly said, with a smile, "Excuse me?" That's when it came out. She admitted that her name was not MelodyWestVa. That was her screenname (it was altered for this posting to protect the guilty). I was like I"m sorry m'am, you must provide your legal name, along with two proofs of identification. "Oh, I had no idea!" she replied. "You are going to think I'm a little strange and loopey after this." The obese woman continued as her frizzy blonde hair flowed about the sky like she had just sat in the forbidden electric chair. I thought to myself,"No, you aren't strange. You are just plain freakin me out with this internet shit!" "You see, I met this man online. I really don't want to give him my home address, so I'm opening up a Post Office box so we can mail each other things." She said with a giggle before proceeding. "And I never told him my real name. You see my name is Eugina Boyce, but I told him I am Melody Jean West. I'm just so scared because I watch TV, and you know this man might come to my house and try to kill me, or worst, rape me!" Well, I'm like completely boggled by this point and I'm so dazed that I feel like I'm moving in slow motion. She continued, "You see, I got that name from Melody is what some of my friends call me because i"m an AMAZING singer and always sing melody. I got Jean from my real name, Eugenia. West is my maiden name, but it just so happens that I also am from WEST Viginia!" I'm like fascinated by this point to see how elaborate and planned out this scheme is. I look at her left finger, the one next to the pinky, and I see a ring. Gosh! That thing looked like the liver of the ocean! It was so ugly! "Maybe it was shipped to her by her Texas knight in shinning armor," I think to myself. Finally, I get her all situated in her new PO Box and she hands me a package, there is not writing on it with the exception of a frail pen that says, "Handle with love and care!" My eyes roll, my throat chuckles, and a sigh of breath exits my nose. I ask for the zip code, and she tells me how it's her Texan man's birthday on Saturday and she bought him three CDs for his birthday! WOW! They been talking for eight months by the way! That sure was a customer I won't forget!
PS- Post Office Boxes are 19.00 for six months at Monongah... that much for a man in Texas? He must have a huge member!
OKAY, then I get a phone call... here's the conversation between me and "G"
M: Monongah Post Office
G: Hey sweet thang! You know wut tyme koke is tonight with Fat WillE?
M: I'm not sure. Give me one moment, please hold.
ON HOLD
M: G?
G: Yeah hun!
M: I'm not sure. I assume it will either be 9 or 10 seeing as that's when it usually starts. If I were you I'd come at 9:30 so you could either be fashionably late, or an early bird who gets the worm!
G: Oh! Well that's when I'll come! How are you doing baby?
M: Uhh... Fine, you?
G: Oh... Jus great! Ma friend Connie will be cummin' with ma tonight, Will ya be der?
M: No I have prior commitments!
G: WHAT?
M: I'm going out with a friend this evening.
G: OH! I thought you was getting married! You are single aren't you?
M: Yes!
G: Good! You stay that way! You are such a sweet boy.
M: Uhh... Thank... Uh... G, I need to go I'm getting busy!
G: OKAY~ I'll be there next friday too if you want to come see me!
M: Ok good bye!
I hung up and went back to watching the clock.
The bar opens at three daily. At 3:30 there was still no sight of the bartender. At 4:05 I get a call from a guy who is in the parking lot below with seven other people wanting to go inside and get drunk. Well, there is no bartender, and after a few calls, only Earlene answered. She was getting in the shower and on her way. The collected want to be drunks sat down there and decided to go to the local Dairy Mart to purchase their own beer and drink it in the parking lot. So, I took the money for the poker rooms down stairs, and to my suprise a man follows me in. He sits down, "A Budweiser please." I ask, cans or bottle? "Bottle boy!" I get him a bottle open it up and serve it to him. "1.75 please." "No it's a dollar fifty! HAPPY HOUR!" he said with a grin! I took his money and I didn't have a money drawer so I ran out and had to make due with the poker maching money. I sit and talk to this man for a good 1/2 hour waiting for someone to show up. He asked me to play the jukebox, talked about Idamay, my family, Monongah. I really liked the guy because after my boss finally showed up, a two dollar tip was mine! and all I did was talk! This makes me think I could do well in the catering/waitoring business. I was proud that I took charge and kept the business going! Postmaster by day, bartender by night!
What is wrong with society when I ask a lady who is filling out an application for her name and she replies, "MelodyWestVa". I gave a puzzled look and she look appauled that I would even consider looking at her in such a manner. I just calmly said, with a smile, "Excuse me?" That's when it came out. She admitted that her name was not MelodyWestVa. That was her screenname (it was altered for this posting to protect the guilty). I was like I"m sorry m'am, you must provide your legal name, along with two proofs of identification. "Oh, I had no idea!" she replied. "You are going to think I'm a little strange and loopey after this." The obese woman continued as her frizzy blonde hair flowed about the sky like she had just sat in the forbidden electric chair. I thought to myself,"No, you aren't strange. You are just plain freakin me out with this internet shit!" "You see, I met this man online. I really don't want to give him my home address, so I'm opening up a Post Office box so we can mail each other things." She said with a giggle before proceeding. "And I never told him my real name. You see my name is Eugina Boyce, but I told him I am Melody Jean West. I'm just so scared because I watch TV, and you know this man might come to my house and try to kill me, or worst, rape me!" Well, I'm like completely boggled by this point and I'm so dazed that I feel like I'm moving in slow motion. She continued, "You see, I got that name from Melody is what some of my friends call me because i"m an AMAZING singer and always sing melody. I got Jean from my real name, Eugenia. West is my maiden name, but it just so happens that I also am from WEST Viginia!" I'm like fascinated by this point to see how elaborate and planned out this scheme is. I look at her left finger, the one next to the pinky, and I see a ring. Gosh! That thing looked like the liver of the ocean! It was so ugly! "Maybe it was shipped to her by her Texas knight in shinning armor," I think to myself. Finally, I get her all situated in her new PO Box and she hands me a package, there is not writing on it with the exception of a frail pen that says, "Handle with love and care!" My eyes roll, my throat chuckles, and a sigh of breath exits my nose. I ask for the zip code, and she tells me how it's her Texan man's birthday on Saturday and she bought him three CDs for his birthday! WOW! They been talking for eight months by the way! That sure was a customer I won't forget!
PS- Post Office Boxes are 19.00 for six months at Monongah... that much for a man in Texas? He must have a huge member!
OKAY, then I get a phone call... here's the conversation between me and "G"
M: Monongah Post Office
G: Hey sweet thang! You know wut tyme koke is tonight with Fat WillE?
M: I'm not sure. Give me one moment, please hold.
ON HOLD
M: G?
G: Yeah hun!
M: I'm not sure. I assume it will either be 9 or 10 seeing as that's when it usually starts. If I were you I'd come at 9:30 so you could either be fashionably late, or an early bird who gets the worm!
G: Oh! Well that's when I'll come! How are you doing baby?
M: Uhh... Fine, you?
G: Oh... Jus great! Ma friend Connie will be cummin' with ma tonight, Will ya be der?
M: No I have prior commitments!
G: WHAT?
M: I'm going out with a friend this evening.
G: OH! I thought you was getting married! You are single aren't you?
M: Yes!
G: Good! You stay that way! You are such a sweet boy.
M: Uhh... Thank... Uh... G, I need to go I'm getting busy!
G: OKAY~ I'll be there next friday too if you want to come see me!
M: Ok good bye!
I hung up and went back to watching the clock.
The bar opens at three daily. At 3:30 there was still no sight of the bartender. At 4:05 I get a call from a guy who is in the parking lot below with seven other people wanting to go inside and get drunk. Well, there is no bartender, and after a few calls, only Earlene answered. She was getting in the shower and on her way. The collected want to be drunks sat down there and decided to go to the local Dairy Mart to purchase their own beer and drink it in the parking lot. So, I took the money for the poker rooms down stairs, and to my suprise a man follows me in. He sits down, "A Budweiser please." I ask, cans or bottle? "Bottle boy!" I get him a bottle open it up and serve it to him. "1.75 please." "No it's a dollar fifty! HAPPY HOUR!" he said with a grin! I took his money and I didn't have a money drawer so I ran out and had to make due with the poker maching money. I sit and talk to this man for a good 1/2 hour waiting for someone to show up. He asked me to play the jukebox, talked about Idamay, my family, Monongah. I really liked the guy because after my boss finally showed up, a two dollar tip was mine! and all I did was talk! This makes me think I could do well in the catering/waitoring business. I was proud that I took charge and kept the business going! Postmaster by day, bartender by night!