(no subject)
NPC...Non-Playable Character
is this what we are at the end of the day,a character that isnt used,is just there doin it's job,the same thing for the same people all the time,and every now and then we get tossed out and put somewhere else,we get edited,or we change might be the more commonly used term,after all,is life just like some big mmorpg,where we dont come back to life when we die,or maybe we do,we dont really know,some people do come back to life,these cases are classed as miracles. What if we come back as a creature,something that cant talk to humans,the destroyers and protectors of this planet,we call home,we call earth. If you are one of the few people who know me,and ive given this link to,you might think that is typical Ryan,confusin as hell,not makin much sense,just ramblin on,what am i meant to say,yes its the same old idiotic me,but what you have to do is,you have to read what i say,over and over again,try and understand what i am sayin,try and understand how i am,how i think,try and get to know me,know how fucked up in the head i am,how crazy i am,how insane i am,how stupid,how clever,how amazing i am. Life is a problem,it is full of problems,people are problems,people have loads of problems,but what do we do about our own problems,we try and sort them out,what do we do about other people's problems,unless it's our job,or we dont know about it,and depending on how close the other person is to you,these factors will define what you will do with other people's problems,more than likely you will ignore them,and try and get on with your own problems,because people care more for themselves than they do anyone else they kno,you might come accross one person who cares more for someone else. Ask yourself who means the most in your life?,who are you close to?,who are you not close to?,who do you wish you were close to? You can get close to whoever you want,whether its your parents,your children,your pets,your friends,someone you can't have,be happy with what you have,and respect and care for what you have,and how you got it,who gave it to you or how you got it,people in this life,if in this one and only life,they are here,and then they are gone,learn to love what you have for now,because tomorrow they could be gone.
I love 3 people,i know i cant have any of them,and if i could id do anything for them,but they won't give me a second glance,friends,over 50 miles away,most of which arent even in this god damn country,and i dont mean Scotland,i mean Great Britain,United Kingdom. I live in the middle of nowhere,hence whenever you read a blog input,it will always say middle of nowhere for my location,today i felt like i was in the sea,and not livin at the side of it,and i wish i was in the sea,then maybe i wouldnt be alive anymore,because truly,i want to get away from here more than anythin i can imagine,i want to go away,i want to travel,and i cant,it is to hard for me atm to do that,to get anything sorted it would take a few months,and i can't wait a few months,and so i'd rather be dead,ive wanted to be dead for a few years now,since i was at Fortrose Academy,and good old Sarah Larsen and her "friends" fucked up my life with the torture and bullyin and embarresment they put me through,4 years out of 6 that was on my back,and i swear to god,my shoulders have felt heavy ever since.
i don't know what to say now,ive rambled on about different things,and my mind is slightly blank atm,so im fuckin off,ciao all.