UNDERSTANDINGS
I have known people who have died, but I could never bring myself to feel so much sympathy or so much hurt like I feel now when a person I am close to is not doing well. Why should others watch someone they love go through suffering? You just dont know how much I would give up so that it could be me. Monday will be the day that will say how serious the problem really is. I really dont want Monday to come because I am so scared that it will only give me a set time before I have to say good-bye. I sit with my host family and I try to look happy, but I am not so good at putting on a show. At school I am just not the same person. I stare at the ceiling and look at people blankly. I told a couple of people, but all I get is "oh i am so sorry". I am tired of that response. I think it was better not to tell anyone in the first place. Hell I dont know what I would say to someone else if they were me. I know they are just trying to be kind, but I dont want to hear "oh i am so sorry" because the more I think the more it seems so real.
Sorry guys this entry seems like shit. I just wanted to get this out of me in a way that I dont have to say everything.
Sorry guys this entry seems like shit. I just wanted to get this out of me in a way that I dont have to say everything.