(no subject)

[xtreme4life05]

my weekend has really sucked. i hurt myself wicked bad yesterday and i like fell on my face. backhandsgrings are so hard. why do they have to be a requirement they suck. n e ways i feel like the world has rejected me because my mom said to me today: "i just dont understand all these boys call you and you dont have a boyfriend i dont get it" , so like me i laughed it off and her response was: " chanell i'm not kidding i think it is rediculous and you are a pretty girl you should have a boyfriend" all i could do was deny her thinking and just say: " well i am not the prettiest thing to look at and i am not very skinny but i guess if i wait the right person will find me instead of me wasting my time looking for them". but my only problem is i am sick and tired of waiting for the right guy to come to me for my personality and not n e thing like my chest or n e thing stupid like that. i just want someone i can talk to and share good times with and just be able to be myself around and not worry about what n e one else thinks of it. that is me only wish is for someone to find me. i know it may take a while but thats ok i am used to waiting so i guess it really couldnt hurt waiting a little more. so my dream guy if you are out there please talk to me let me know you are there and support my thinking and just let me know there is still hope for me and not just me watch everyone around me get someone who will treat them right and have flowers sent to them just because or have someone who will come over just to be able to look into my eyes or just to hang out and watch a movie with. i mean i work hard i have been trying to loose wight and i am trying to improve my skin and maybe look a little better but no matter how hard i try everyone makes fun of the way i am. and now all i want to do is prove to everyone who thinks i cant look good in a bathing suit or even nice dresses for dances after this summer i will show everyone i am going to train and i will work my but off and i will loose the weight i will become more confident with myself and i will just become a better person i know i also need to work on my personality and my my attitude but i am convinced with a little hard work and patientce i can pull it off and if anyone else believes in me leave me a comment and mayb give me some tips on how to go about my wonderful plan i am working on now. just let me know and it will happen aight lata! if anyone else thinks there is n e thing else i need to improve on or change leave me sum and let me know.

much love to everyone,
chanell!!!!!