Screw it...Here is my opinion!
1. Men ARE not mind readers. women are Not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. This one makes since.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be. Not all women hate sports.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. we dont think that it is either it is just something fun to do with time in the same aspect that you like your sports.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail. Crying is an emotion that is real and even men cry.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!not to a shallow minded man
Strong hints do not work!not when men dont use their brains to get the strong hint.
Obvious hints do not work!Obvious hints to complicated for men to follow.
Just say it! Why just say it when your too shallow to get it anyway.
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. See there perfectly acceptable yes or no answers to ALMOST every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. We come to you because you are supposed to be our best friend in the whole world.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Only when our best friend (husband/boyfriend) fails to help us.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Since when does a woman have a headache for 17 months it just seems like that to a man because his sexual needs are higher and 2 days to a man is 17 months.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. Unless it is something that was not fully discussed at the time it occured and then it is brought up by you again as a vendictive remark.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. Why do we have to dress sleazy to get your attention and who cares about a soap opera guy eeh it is the gay strippers that look good.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. If you think your fat you wont ask because you KNOW you are...we only ask when we are losing weight and wonder if you will comment in with a good word we dont expect an insult. I would never tell my man he was fat even if he were that is hurtful.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one . Precisely you really dont know what to say that is all.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. I generally ask for HELP doing something I never ask you and tell you how I want it done...I make suggestions and ask your opinion. If I could do it myself then I would.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. The t.v. controls your brain like the remote does the t.v. I always find time during my t.v. time to listen to you. I never make you wait for a commercial.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Omg you dont need directions but you do need guidance.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. You have no colorful inter beauty or imagination when it comes to color.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that. Yes but there is a time and a place for it, discression!
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. You just dont want to listen, if I asked you what was wrong and you said nothing I would know that you are lying too but would figure out why sooner than later when you say "damn it has been 3 weeks". NOT!
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. Why would I ask a question if I didnt want an answer the whole point in asking the question was to get an answer duh! That is where you men do that one.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really. Aw now I wouldnt want you to wear just anything , it would depend on where we were going.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf. Hummm, not all guys think of those things I know!
1. You have enough clothes.You have more cothes than I could ever think of having.
1. You have too many shoes. I have less shoes than you do.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Most men dont need to worry about how he looks because not all women are picky and if I am married to you then when your body changes I wouldnt make you feel like an alien or anything you are still the man that I married just a different shape...I still Love you!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; No you wouldnt , you have a right to your opinion.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Sometimes I dont mind it either I get the whole bed to myself to sleep in the middle not on one side of it :P
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. This one makes since.
1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be. Not all women hate sports.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. we dont think that it is either it is just something fun to do with time in the same aspect that you like your sports.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail. Crying is an emotion that is real and even men cry.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!not to a shallow minded man
Strong hints do not work!not when men dont use their brains to get the strong hint.
Obvious hints do not work!Obvious hints to complicated for men to follow.
Just say it! Why just say it when your too shallow to get it anyway.
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question. See there perfectly acceptable yes or no answers to ALMOST every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. We come to you because you are supposed to be our best friend in the whole world.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Only when our best friend (husband/boyfriend) fails to help us.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Since when does a woman have a headache for 17 months it just seems like that to a man because his sexual needs are higher and 2 days to a man is 17 months.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. Unless it is something that was not fully discussed at the time it occured and then it is brought up by you again as a vendictive remark.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. Why do we have to dress sleazy to get your attention and who cares about a soap opera guy eeh it is the gay strippers that look good.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. If you think your fat you wont ask because you KNOW you are...we only ask when we are losing weight and wonder if you will comment in with a good word we dont expect an insult. I would never tell my man he was fat even if he were that is hurtful.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one . Precisely you really dont know what to say that is all.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. I generally ask for HELP doing something I never ask you and tell you how I want it done...I make suggestions and ask your opinion. If I could do it myself then I would.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. The t.v. controls your brain like the remote does the t.v. I always find time during my t.v. time to listen to you. I never make you wait for a commercial.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Omg you dont need directions but you do need guidance.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. You have no colorful inter beauty or imagination when it comes to color.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that. Yes but there is a time and a place for it, discression!
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. You just dont want to listen, if I asked you what was wrong and you said nothing I would know that you are lying too but would figure out why sooner than later when you say "damn it has been 3 weeks". NOT!
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. Why would I ask a question if I didnt want an answer the whole point in asking the question was to get an answer duh! That is where you men do that one.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really. Aw now I wouldnt want you to wear just anything , it would depend on where we were going.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf. Hummm, not all guys think of those things I know!
1. You have enough clothes.You have more cothes than I could ever think of having.
1. You have too many shoes. I have less shoes than you do.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! Most men dont need to worry about how he looks because not all women are picky and if I am married to you then when your body changes I wouldnt make you feel like an alien or anything you are still the man that I married just a different shape...I still Love you!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; No you wouldnt , you have a right to your opinion.
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Sometimes I dont mind it either I get the whole bed to myself to sleep in the middle not on one side of it :P