Working on my path.
I have been feeling frustrated and lost in the sca for over a year now. I was caught up in politics and Royal stuff and laurel stuff that made me attend events that I would have preferred missing. Yes, yes, nobody 'forced' me to attend, but there were things I wanted, I felt needed to happen, and they would have taken even longer if I had not attended. So I went and fulfilled my commitments. I was left tired and frustrated and uninspired.
It sometimes takes me a while to organize the problem and put it into words, but it came to me this weekend. I am feeling like a 'has been'. I do not 'do stuff', I judge stuff. I do not enter stuff, I organize stuff. I do not make stuff, I organize other people to make stuff. I hate hazbeens. I have an intense dislike for people who used to do stuff, but now 'rest on their laurels'. The sca is not static, your clothes can become dated, because you do not read and extrapolate. Your brain can become rigid and unable to empathize, you do not welcome new ideas, new people, or change. Hazbeens figure that since they have been around since rocks were soft, that they are full of irreplaceable information about how the sca was and should still be. They like to talk in meetings, even though they do not really know what is going on because this is their first event in 2 or more years. Hazbeens like to create fences not gates, or raise the bar to increase their own self important.
I have stepped back from events due to frustration, and that distance has helped me choose my path. This last weekend I went to False Island and taught 3 new classes. A friend needed instructors and instead of going to an easy local event, I took the rocky road less traveled. I taught a class about one of my new passions - bee keeping,not a period skill but a great way to acquire a useful set of period products while saving the world. I taught a class that the local group had requested, medieval cooking, something I can do, but do not usually, and it has inspired me to do more. And thirdly a class in beginner metalwork, something I dislike doing since it is my day job. I still dislike it, but the grumpiest, most irritating person on site, who i was dreading spending 4 hours with, had a great time. I spent time with new people, and reconnected with old friends. I was welcomed into someone's home and had a chance to see a piece of my province I do not normally. I got to travel with my wonderful boyfriend and be reminded what an awesome guy he is, (someone should give him an AA) and connect with another great teacher who I have known for years, but never spent real time with. I call the weekend a total win. I am exhausted and elated.
I am going to continue to choose better, I will not be attending KA + S this year, I want to be an artist, not an art critic. I look forward to seeing you at my homemade kite flying party in June!
It sometimes takes me a while to organize the problem and put it into words, but it came to me this weekend. I am feeling like a 'has been'. I do not 'do stuff', I judge stuff. I do not enter stuff, I organize stuff. I do not make stuff, I organize other people to make stuff. I hate hazbeens. I have an intense dislike for people who used to do stuff, but now 'rest on their laurels'. The sca is not static, your clothes can become dated, because you do not read and extrapolate. Your brain can become rigid and unable to empathize, you do not welcome new ideas, new people, or change. Hazbeens figure that since they have been around since rocks were soft, that they are full of irreplaceable information about how the sca was and should still be. They like to talk in meetings, even though they do not really know what is going on because this is their first event in 2 or more years. Hazbeens like to create fences not gates, or raise the bar to increase their own self important.
I have stepped back from events due to frustration, and that distance has helped me choose my path. This last weekend I went to False Island and taught 3 new classes. A friend needed instructors and instead of going to an easy local event, I took the rocky road less traveled. I taught a class about one of my new passions - bee keeping,not a period skill but a great way to acquire a useful set of period products while saving the world. I taught a class that the local group had requested, medieval cooking, something I can do, but do not usually, and it has inspired me to do more. And thirdly a class in beginner metalwork, something I dislike doing since it is my day job. I still dislike it, but the grumpiest, most irritating person on site, who i was dreading spending 4 hours with, had a great time. I spent time with new people, and reconnected with old friends. I was welcomed into someone's home and had a chance to see a piece of my province I do not normally. I got to travel with my wonderful boyfriend and be reminded what an awesome guy he is, (someone should give him an AA) and connect with another great teacher who I have known for years, but never spent real time with. I call the weekend a total win. I am exhausted and elated.
I am going to continue to choose better, I will not be attending KA + S this year, I want to be an artist, not an art critic. I look forward to seeing you at my homemade kite flying party in June!