(no subject)
When a congregant is diagnosed with a terminal illness, we pray. We even set aside a time in the worship service to specifically pray, as a congregation, for miraculous healing. No matter the prognosis.
When my Gran was diagnosed, we as a family with her minister prayed for peace. For comfort. For pain to subside quickly into the joy of meeting her Savior.
Some days, I can't help but wonder, somewhat selfishly, were we wrong? Did we not have faith that God could heal her as quickly as she had fallen ill? Were we too afraid to have faith and be denied? At the time, we felt we were being mature in our faith and our love in accepting the facts and letting her go Home no matter how much it hurt us.
But some days, or really more days, I feel as if we robbed ourselves somehow. I feel like I failed.
I don't think that such a feeling is right, but it persists. I don't really believe that God just gives us whatever blessing or miracle we ask if we only serve Him faithfully and pray the right words. I despise the Prosperity Gospel, but at it's core, it's human to believe in it: Do good, believe, and receive good. We want to see logic played out. Good gets good. Bad gets bad. It's hard not to see the miracles that others are granted and not wonder, where did I go wrong?
When my Gran was diagnosed, we as a family with her minister prayed for peace. For comfort. For pain to subside quickly into the joy of meeting her Savior.
Some days, I can't help but wonder, somewhat selfishly, were we wrong? Did we not have faith that God could heal her as quickly as she had fallen ill? Were we too afraid to have faith and be denied? At the time, we felt we were being mature in our faith and our love in accepting the facts and letting her go Home no matter how much it hurt us.
But some days, or really more days, I feel as if we robbed ourselves somehow. I feel like I failed.
I don't think that such a feeling is right, but it persists. I don't really believe that God just gives us whatever blessing or miracle we ask if we only serve Him faithfully and pray the right words. I despise the Prosperity Gospel, but at it's core, it's human to believe in it: Do good, believe, and receive good. We want to see logic played out. Good gets good. Bad gets bad. It's hard not to see the miracles that others are granted and not wonder, where did I go wrong?