ride the spiral to the end

[xtoyzruskidx]

I've come to a point where it feels like theres no where I belong. feeling so alone, feeling out of place. Everything spirals but no one notices it. People I loved and respected now make me feel like just something to make fun of. I'm not the same... my confidence left me with a feeling of unaccomplishment with the feeling that i'm not good enough. I sit here empty, no one here to spark inspiration or to make me feel like i'm alive. Its been a feeling thats been accumulating. I've come to relize that it's become a problem for me, that theres been a leek in the will to keep going. theres nothing motivating me, nothing driving me to keep trying to do my best. anything that I thought was there in friendships is just bullshit- all I feel like i am now is someone to poke fun at, to just make fun of. yea, i can only take so much. I'm at my breaking point, where life is the same thing: go to school, just waiting for the day to end, get home only to yearn for the weekends, and the weekends there and gone.
what is it about me that others don't even look at me as a person where i'm under a microscope. Feeling naked, ugly, vulnerable, stupid, atrocious, a failure, worthless, unwanted.
Theres no one for me to turn to... no one to let me lay my head in their lap and talk to.

make me feel again. I need to feel wanted, loved, beautifull, noticed, appreciated, like I'm there.