(no subject)
Alright so here's the deal.
I call my mom up from school because I was feeling pretty damn horrible, like.. really. After a while of arguing, she comes and picks me up. We're sitting in my room, talking, and she asks me how I feel. I tell her I want to get away from Maryland because everything's just fucking up. And she says
Well, we might not move. Dad might have gotten a better job.
I really don't know what to think or how to feel. I NEED to get away, but i'd be leaving so much. All i've decided so far is if we don't move, I won't go by myself, because that was the plan at first. I've become too attatched to certain things here, and I'm not yet mature enough to live without my parents. I mean, I know I could do it, I'm going to have to do it someday, but as for right now i'm only 15. My mom said they're finding out this week about this new job and all this bullshit. I know it will make some people happy if I stay, and I will end up being happy if I stay, but I know I would be better off leaving.
If I do stay though, I am certain I will not touch anything anymore, drug wise. I need comfort. I need someone to hold me. I can't do this by myself, which I just realized. I thought I could. Ughhh. At least things here are looking up. I just need to remember that, and think of the small things that are keeping me going. Like, maybe soccer wednsday with Jeff and whoever else wants to join.
Things will be alright, no matter what happens. It's just the road there that is hard. But I know I can do it, because I have the best support.
BLAH BLAH BLAH HOLD ME AND TELL ME EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.
I call my mom up from school because I was feeling pretty damn horrible, like.. really. After a while of arguing, she comes and picks me up. We're sitting in my room, talking, and she asks me how I feel. I tell her I want to get away from Maryland because everything's just fucking up. And she says
Well, we might not move. Dad might have gotten a better job.
I really don't know what to think or how to feel. I NEED to get away, but i'd be leaving so much. All i've decided so far is if we don't move, I won't go by myself, because that was the plan at first. I've become too attatched to certain things here, and I'm not yet mature enough to live without my parents. I mean, I know I could do it, I'm going to have to do it someday, but as for right now i'm only 15. My mom said they're finding out this week about this new job and all this bullshit. I know it will make some people happy if I stay, and I will end up being happy if I stay, but I know I would be better off leaving.
If I do stay though, I am certain I will not touch anything anymore, drug wise. I need comfort. I need someone to hold me. I can't do this by myself, which I just realized. I thought I could. Ughhh. At least things here are looking up. I just need to remember that, and think of the small things that are keeping me going. Like, maybe soccer wednsday with Jeff and whoever else wants to join.
Things will be alright, no matter what happens. It's just the road there that is hard. But I know I can do it, because I have the best support.
BLAH BLAH BLAH HOLD ME AND TELL ME EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.