xTHE DATEx
Dating is pressure and tension.What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference between a date and a job interview is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked at the end of it.
"Well Bill,the boss thinks you're the man for the position. Why don't you strip down and meet some of the people you'll be working with?"
Maybe we need some kind of pre-date ritual. Maybe first meet up in one of those rooms where you visit prisoners. You have that glass between you. You talk on the phones. See how that goes before you attempt an actual date. This way the only sexual tension would be deciding if you should put your hand on the glass or not. And if you're not comfortable at any point, you just signal to the guard and they take the other person away.
It's hard to have fun when you're feeling evaluated. We should say,"You seem nice.Why don't we get together sometime for some seriouse scrutiny?"
Because that's the thing that happens. Whenever you think about this person in terms of maybe spending your future with them,you have to magnify every little thing about them.
The guy will be like, "I don't think her eyebrows are even.I can't believe it.Her eyebrows are uneven.Could I look at uneven eyebrows for the rest of my life?"And of course, the woman's thinking, "What is he looking at?Do I want someone looking at me like this for the rest of my life?"
Women, of course, have powers far beyond those of mortal men.A woman left a message on my phone machine the other day, with kind of a breathy voice.And no matter what a woman says,if it's in that breathy voice,it sounds so appealing.A stewardess could lean over,whisper in my ear, "Would you put on your seatbelt?We're about to crash into a mountain." And I go, "Really?So what are you doing later by the ruptured fuselage? What do you say we meet for some peanuts over by the black box? I'll bring the cushions.(etc).....
Love.
xoxo
"Well Bill,the boss thinks you're the man for the position. Why don't you strip down and meet some of the people you'll be working with?"
Maybe we need some kind of pre-date ritual. Maybe first meet up in one of those rooms where you visit prisoners. You have that glass between you. You talk on the phones. See how that goes before you attempt an actual date. This way the only sexual tension would be deciding if you should put your hand on the glass or not. And if you're not comfortable at any point, you just signal to the guard and they take the other person away.
It's hard to have fun when you're feeling evaluated. We should say,"You seem nice.Why don't we get together sometime for some seriouse scrutiny?"
Because that's the thing that happens. Whenever you think about this person in terms of maybe spending your future with them,you have to magnify every little thing about them.
The guy will be like, "I don't think her eyebrows are even.I can't believe it.Her eyebrows are uneven.Could I look at uneven eyebrows for the rest of my life?"And of course, the woman's thinking, "What is he looking at?Do I want someone looking at me like this for the rest of my life?"
Women, of course, have powers far beyond those of mortal men.A woman left a message on my phone machine the other day, with kind of a breathy voice.And no matter what a woman says,if it's in that breathy voice,it sounds so appealing.A stewardess could lean over,whisper in my ear, "Would you put on your seatbelt?We're about to crash into a mountain." And I go, "Really?So what are you doing later by the ruptured fuselage? What do you say we meet for some peanuts over by the black box? I'll bring the cushions.(etc).....
Love.
xoxo