Trying to do better with myself

[xtornopenx]

School's been okay for now anyway. I have a paragraph I have to write for english which sucks because my writing is what failed me last semester. I forgot I had two tests today so I possibly did horrible on those maybe not to horrible I hope. Health class could be better I worked out really good today and still did poorly. I found out I will be here this summer for the summer term:( I really don't want too stay here all summer and the start back in the fall that is going to be dreadful! But the term is already paid for so I might as well just shut up and do it! Everything is spinning around way too fast I'm doing okay these days but I just wish things could work out more to my advantage. There are a lot of things I'm going to change in my life because change is good. I want to become healthy I'm tired of hurting my body with bad eating and lack of exercise. Being "skinny" isn't my focus anymore it's about feeling better mentally and physically now. I also want to become more spiritual and go to church and just change on the inside as well. Finally I want to just live life and not worry about stupid things like growing up I just wanna have fun and not worry if people are judging me or not. I'm so tired I got up at 5:30 am this morning and now I'm begining to feel the sleep creep up on me oh well I guess I'll just have to push myself to finish out the day. This august I'll have been a student at bcc for a full year I can't believe that it seems like I've been here for years and years. I know how hard I worked to get here and I don't want to just walk away from school even when it is dreadful. I wanna make something of myself live out my dreams not hide in the shadows and let time just go on with out me. This is going to be worth it I just know it will be someday. It is time-consuming and sometimes a struggle but it is the best place ever because it's changed me and it's allowed me to grow in so many ways. I don't know what path my future will steer me in but I know it'll be the right choice when I get to that point in my life. I don't feel as if I'm worthless anymore because it isn't true and I know I'm going to be successful because failure isn't a word in my vocabulary anymore, I can't isn't going to be the words I live by anymore. If I couldn't do it then I wouldn't be here right now in school taking on the challenges one by one. I know by hanging in there you can be rewarded and patience is all it really takes to get ahead in this world.

Things do get better I've learned that and I deeply value that. I hope everyone had a great day <3333!