(no subject)
In my attempts to find any sort of scholarships I have failed thus far, causing me to second guess my previous decision to turn another down. Perhaps trading a more academic path for one of culinary pursuits actually was a mistake. Those thoughts are quickly removed though, leaving me to my continuing search. The bleak sounds of Godless North have shifted into the powerful riffs of Silent Force, thus starling me in my already trance like state. My continuous work on the house has somewhat taken a toll on my mental state, never ready to sleep or relax, in constant expectations of being called to duty. I have thought about what would have happened to my mother if I had not taken this year off to give her the aid she needed. I'm sure Jon would have done fine by himself, but I can't stop thinking that, even though I am here for the good of the family, I have somehow let them down due to my current state of non-academic.
Oh well.
Oh well.