make out kids.
so now that it's gotten late enough to feel emo, i have to get this off my chest.
there are these two friends of mine that i kind of have crushes on.
i definitely have a thing for older guys.
these two are only a year older, though.
they're both in band. one plays trumpet, the other trombone [okay, i have a thing for fellow trombone players too].
we're all in jazz band together, and i'll be in their concert band next year.
they're both more than a little odd.
the former is really quiet. he hardly ever talks around anyone outside of his really good friends, but he sits in front of me in spanish.
a mutual friend sits behind us, so all of us just talk and amuse ourselves all hour.
we've gotten to know each other pretty well this trimester.
he dresses completely preppy.
[i ninja'd a necklace right off his neck one day.]
he lets me draw all over his hands while the teacher shows slides on Spain.
he's my cuddle buddy, too.
he'll use his sweatshirt or whatever as a pillow and put it where our desks meet, and then lets me use him as a pillow.
he's comfy.
but... he texts our mutual friend's cousin constantly and always talks about her and when he's going to see her next.
heh.
the other guy is a lot louder.
we're in the musical together. he's [one of] the director's sons.
he thinks choreographing is boring because it feels like the same thing every year.
he's always acting, always talking in a borderline-fake voice.
you can tell when he's really surprised or feeling something strongly when he drops it [which is rare].
one of his favorite things to do is randomly yell "BLAINE, SHUT UP!" when i haven't said anything at all.
i've started doing it right back to him.
let's not even start with the pink-dyed captain of the math team who may still have a crush on me and who dislikes my boyfriend or the amazing discus-thrower i was in track with last year who enjoys picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder and who my dear friend likes. a lot.
then i start looking at my relationship with my boyfriend. and i'm like, "is this what i want?"
how much would i hurt him if i broke up with him?
i love him. in the only way i know the meaning of the word, i really do.
how much would i regret it?
do i want to go back to helpless unrequited crushes?
without someone to call at 11pm, without someone to kiss and hug and cuddle and watch movies with?
this relationship thing is kind of addictive.
i'm such a mess.
there are these two friends of mine that i kind of have crushes on.
i definitely have a thing for older guys.
these two are only a year older, though.
they're both in band. one plays trumpet, the other trombone [okay, i have a thing for fellow trombone players too].
we're all in jazz band together, and i'll be in their concert band next year.
they're both more than a little odd.
the former is really quiet. he hardly ever talks around anyone outside of his really good friends, but he sits in front of me in spanish.
a mutual friend sits behind us, so all of us just talk and amuse ourselves all hour.
we've gotten to know each other pretty well this trimester.
he dresses completely preppy.
[i ninja'd a necklace right off his neck one day.]
he lets me draw all over his hands while the teacher shows slides on Spain.
he's my cuddle buddy, too.
he'll use his sweatshirt or whatever as a pillow and put it where our desks meet, and then lets me use him as a pillow.
he's comfy.
but... he texts our mutual friend's cousin constantly and always talks about her and when he's going to see her next.
heh.
the other guy is a lot louder.
we're in the musical together. he's [one of] the director's sons.
he thinks choreographing is boring because it feels like the same thing every year.
he's always acting, always talking in a borderline-fake voice.
you can tell when he's really surprised or feeling something strongly when he drops it [which is rare].
one of his favorite things to do is randomly yell "BLAINE, SHUT UP!" when i haven't said anything at all.
i've started doing it right back to him.
let's not even start with the pink-dyed captain of the math team who may still have a crush on me and who dislikes my boyfriend or the amazing discus-thrower i was in track with last year who enjoys picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder and who my dear friend likes. a lot.
then i start looking at my relationship with my boyfriend. and i'm like, "is this what i want?"
how much would i hurt him if i broke up with him?
i love him. in the only way i know the meaning of the word, i really do.
how much would i regret it?
do i want to go back to helpless unrequited crushes?
without someone to call at 11pm, without someone to kiss and hug and cuddle and watch movies with?
this relationship thing is kind of addictive.
i'm such a mess.