The Vampire's Bride (5/?)
Title: The Vampire's Bride (5/?)
Pairing: Hankyung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em
Summary: The heartwarming love story of fail!vampire Ryeowook and the local intellectualist, Mr. Beijing Fried Rice. As told by DBSK.
The first thing he noticed was that it was really hot. Ryeowook surveyed the scene before him; it appeared that he was on a...roof of a building, of all places. On the ground, several stories below, lava was flowing steadily, and floating in the melted volcanic matter was a dingey that, despite being made of wood, wasn't catching fire. But what really caught his attention was the sight of his own body sprawled across the floor of the small boat, and the chain that connected from a hook on the dingey to the edge of the building - to prevent the boat from sweeping away, thought Ryeowook. Now how he knew that was another question.
"Welcome to hell," said a disembodied voice from behind him - it sounded neither male nor female, but had a familiar ring to it. Ryeowook whipped around, startled, but to his surprise nobody was there.
"Uncle Heechul already said that to me ages ago," he said testily, feeling painfully stupid for talking to what seemed to be empty space. "I'm not going to fall for the same trick twice."
There was a cough. "No really," The Voice insisted. "And this really is hell. You're dead."
"Huh?" was Ryeowook's incredibly witty reply.
"Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"No," Ryeowook said irritatedly. "I know how to spell 'hell.'"
"That was a rhetorical question, you imbecile. Meaning, you're not suppose to answer it."
Ryeowook tried to smile, but right facial muscles didn't seem to like smiling anymore. In fact, Ryeowook would go so far as to say they hated that particular motion. The result was a grotesque sneer that made The Voice wince very audibly in disgust.
"Eww, that looks weird. Stop smiling."
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE?!" Ryeowook exploded. "It's melted! I feel like a Barbie doll that's spontaneously combusted from radioactive poisoning in a microwave!"
"It's simply a bad case of sunburn," The Voice answered. "Except that 'bad case of sunburn' was the indubitable cause of your death."
"You're still going on about that?" Ryeowook groaned. "Who are you, anyway?"
The Voice rolled metaphorical eyes. "I'm the nonphysical manisfetion of your negative emotions you have suppressed for the past century or so."
"Ah," Ryeowook said, nodding as if he knew exactly what The Voice was talking about. "That totally explains why I'm talking to a voice in my head. Oh dear lord help me I'm insane I'm insane I'm insane!"
"I don't get paid enough for this," The Voice mumbled tiredly. It lapsed into silence, then spoke up slyly, "Hey, you want to get out of this hellhole, don't you?"
Ryeowook gave the best What-Are-You-A-Moron look he could manage with only half his face functioning.
"I'll make a deal with you. Do it and I'll let you off. No strings attached. You'll never hear from me again...That is, if you can steal that amulet from that one friend of yours."
"What friend?" Ryeowook was confused, since he doesn't recall meeting any friends since he got here, only deranged psycopaths. "What amulet?"
"Pretty Chinese dude with pretty necklace," The Voice replied sarcastically. "I hope you don't mind that I put it into simple enough words for your tiny insufficient brain to comprehend."
"You're mean." Ryeowook crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air. "And why should I steal Hankyung-hyung's necklace thingie? Heck, how do I steal it is the bigger question here."
"Make a bet with him," The Voice offered helpfully. "If you win, you get the amulet. If you lose, he gets to do whatever he wants with you."
"Nope." Ryeowook shook his head. "I think I have the worst luck ever when it comes to gambling."
"You could always beat him up," suggested The Voice.
"Yeah. Um. That won't work," Ryeowook said, gesturing at his scrawny body. "I'm almost a head shorter than he is, and I hear he's a martial arts expert."
"Sleep with him!" The Voice finally shouted, exasperated.
"But, but," Ryeowook stuttered, and he would've turned a bright scarlet if he could blush, "but that involves physical contact in an...icky way."
There was the sound of somebody smacking their head repeatedly against a hard surface. "Let us toast to your non-idiocy."
"But what productivity is there in a love between two men?" Ryeowook protested, thinking of a litany of reasons exactly why it was a bad idea, like, Please, he's a man, and, He's a freakin' slab of edible meat, to Yeah, but he's totally hot, and finally, Oh my god I think my brain is gay. Ryeowook decided to go with the classic: "Why do you think God made Adam and Eve-"
"Stuff it," The Voice interrupted snidely. "You can't reproduce anyway, so that body of yours isn't good for much but sex."
"You're too kind," muttered Ryeowook.
"Seduce him!" The Voice commanded in a loud voice, clearly trying to be intimidating but failing miserably. "But don't let him see your face, 'cause he doesn't look like the type to go for underaged boys-"
"I don't want to."
The Voice spluttered incredulously, sounding spectacularly like a drowning duck. "I'm the closest thing to Satan here. I can do this-"
Ryeowook blanched as a pillar of fire erupted from the ground an inch from his nose.
"-if you don't listen to what I say."
"Okay okay," Ryeowook agreed hastily. "So you want me to just bite him on the neck or something? He does smell kinda appetizing, and I am kinda hungry..."
"Go for it, since apparantly wanting to literally eat your potential soon-to-be lover is deeply romantic, not deeply disturbing."
"But you said you wanted me 'seduce' him. Doesn't that involve draining him of all his blood..."
"I didn't mean for you to kill him!" The Voice exclaimed. "Oh my god why didn't I pick an easier person?"
"Should you really be pleading to God?" Ryeowook wondered. "You know, since you're supposedly the devil, or close to it and all..."
"Shut up and get going." An invisible force shoved him off the roof and he plummetted through the air toward the molten lava where his body was waiting for him.
*
He slowly opened his eyes.
What appeared to be an extremely muscular fly was staring down at him.
Ryeowook opened his mouth and let loose a bloodcurdling scream that sent jagged bolts of pain shooting up the his temples, causing him to choke on his spit mid-scream and convulse until he flipped off the bed he was lying on to crack his chin quite painfully against the hard marble floor.
Hankyung's relieved face swam into his view of vision. "Ryeowook! You're awake!"
"Jeez, can this guy state the obvious or what?"
Ryeowook froze. The Voice. Why was it here?
"I'm just here to guide you along and make sure you don't slack off, my dear boy," The Voice said cheerfully.
Ryeowook was tempted to throw himself in the sun again. If he died, at least he would be rid of that annoying Voice.
"Don't even try it," it advised. "If you do I'll just haunt you for the rest of your afterlife."
"Uh, are you okay?"
Ryeowook didn't answer, too horrified was he at the prospect of living forever with a demented voice in his head.
"Touch him. Maybe he'll snap out of it," suggested the fly.
"Good idea," Hankyung agreed.
The next thing Ryeowook knew he was dragged to his knees and enveloped in strong arms, his nose crushed to a firm chest. Ryeowook found himself relaxing despite himself - the heady, intoxicating scent was starting to make him light-headed.
"Seems like this won't be a tough job for you after all," The Voice chuckled. "Look, he's practically on top of you already. Now all you need to do is swipe that amulet of his and run like hell."
"Are you stupid?" Ryeowook snapped, accidentally out loud. Immediately after he said it the warm pressure disappeared and Hankyung backed away, mouth twisted in disappointment and eyes as sad as a kicked puppy's.
Ryeowook mentally cursed The Voice and hurridly said, "Not you, hyung. The voice in my head."
Wonderful; now he was getting stares like he was crazy.
"Hyung, is this person all right?" the fly asked uneasily. "He claims he has a voice in his head, and half his features is melted off." The look on his face instantly turned suspicious. "Does this have to do with the sun?"
Ryeowook made a strangled noise that was somewhere between Why does the universe hate me and Oh god it's all over. It was all over. He should just go stab himself with the nearest toothpick and get it over with. "Uh," he managed weakly, "it's-"
"A failed plastic surgery operation," Hankyung intercepted smoothly. "Siwon, it's a very delicate matter for Ryeowook - his appearance and all. It would be kinder of you to not question this sort of thing."
"Understood, hyung," Siwon said, snapping a hand to his forehead in a military salute.
"And please take off those glasses. It's very rude to our guest for you to hide your face."
Siwon obediantly took off his sunglasses, and that's when Ryeowook finally got a good look at him.
Oh god. The eyebrows! Thick, black lines of curled facial hair that creepily moved up and down, when the rest of Siwon was still. It made him look like a man whose scalp was being attacked by giant hairy caterpillars.
Siwon squinted. "Is your wound healing?"
"Yeah, er, I heal fast." Ryeowook could feel cold sweat trickling down his spine. "It's all in the genes," he babbled nervously. "Yup, good, strong genes. Not a vampire - gross, blood-drinking, undead things, no way I would be one, ehehe..." He trailed off in favor of focusing on edging away.
Siwon lunged.
Hankyung sighed.
Ryeowook screamed a desolate "NOOO!!!" and tried to run. Shame; he almost made it, too.
*
"You're at my mercy now," said Siwon. He gloated triumphantly at the sight of Ryeowook kneeling at his feet, ankles and wrists bound so tightly his pale skin lightened to near transparency, and planted a foot the size of a frying pan on Ryeowook's back. "Die quietly, or suffer the consequences."
Ryeowook stopped gnawing on the rope, considered this for a moment, and then head-butted him in the groin.
"Blasphemy!" Siwon croaked, toppling to the ground in a very manly fashion. At the same time, Ryeowook broke free of his confines and started hobbling toward the door in hopes of escaping, when Siwon staggered to his feet, glaring at Ryeowook with a look of what could only be described as pure loathing in the bloodshot eyes full of pain. Hankyung hurried forward to restrain the bear-like man from squishing Ryeowook's insides out his ears.
"Get out," Siwon squeaked menacingly, sounding very much like a constipated mouse on helium. "I forbid you to stay in here. Since you're hyung's guest, I'll be polite and not kill you off right away. Now scram before I exorcise your butt off the face of the Earth."
Ryeowook didn't argue; then again, who would argue with a six-foot-and-then-some-more Asian built like a linebacker with muscles to rival a Michelangelo statue?
"Why?" The Voice inquired, using Ryeowook as a mouthpiece. Okay, so it would, but it, technically speaking, didn't exist, in a sense, so it didn't count.
Siwon gave Ryeowook a filthy look. "You are a vampire. A son of Judas. An evil undead minion of Satan with an unhealthy thirst for the very life-giving liquid that keeps the rest of the world that are not freaks alive. And you ask me why I forbid you to step foot in my house? You are a stupid moron idiot with brains of a dead maggot."
"Why is everyone calling me an idiot one way or another?" Ryeowook grumbled. It's all The Voice's fault, he added silently, the bitter twist of his lips slightly marring his now perfectly un-sunburned, perfectly symmetrical features.
"Because you are," Siwon informed him sullenly.
"You weren't suppose to answer that," Ryeowook pointed out. "It was a rhetorical question."
Siwon grimaced. "I don't need a grammer lesson."
"Why?" Ryeowook asked innocently. "If you don't know it, then it makes sense for someone to tell you." He hid behind Hankyung as Siwon turned a violent beetroot color. "I'm scared," he confessed, in a slight whisper, to Hankyung's jacket. It was a very nice color, he noticed. Kind of a yellow-green with spots of beige. Good quality too.
"Hankyung-hyung, tell the stupid moron idiot if he asks any more stupid questions I will turn his tiny worm brain into pig droppings," snarled Siwon, stalking out with a dramatic flourish.
Ryeowook flinched as the door slammed shut with enough force that the hinges rattled. Hankyung swiveled around to look at him. "Don't mind Siwon. He's kind of violent, but he's got a good heart. Now you," Hankyung scowled in mock anger, "you don't seem like the rebellious, little devil type to nitpick at someone's mistake."
Ryeowook, with a childish pout, lightly hit Hankyung's arm and embarrassedly turned away from the older man's gently laughing eyes.
"Now's your chance!" The Voice urged, after two whole peaceful, quiet, undisturbed minutes have passed with Ryeowook showing no sign of fullfilling his side of their bargain. "Get him!"
Ryeowook stubbornly shook his head.
"...Very well then."
A quick mental zap, and Ryeowook's limbs were completely taken over by The Voice, which proceeded to manhandle Ryeowook's movements so inefficiently that Hankyung was bodyslammed into the wall, which gave away under their combined weight and momentum. For a few seconds Ryeowook's arms swung around with all the grace of an three-legged hippo before his hands finally latched onto Hankyung's hair and used it to yank the man's head back, baring his throat. Ryeowook involuntarily cupped Hankyung's cheek with one hand, stroking his thumb over the sharp cheek bone.
"What are you doing?" demanded Hankyung, all humor gone and now trying with no success to push Ryeowook off. "I would've never pegged you for a pervert."
Ryeowook was forced to bat his eyelids and say something cheesy like, I want you, but it really meant, Oh yeah, 'cause I'm totally groping some guy whom I've known for less than twenty-four hours in a completely sexual and infinitely disturbing way for the kicks. Right. Like he would actually do that, even if the guy was hot.
"Hey-" Hankyung's weak protest turned into a gutteral moan as Ryeowook lapped at Hankyung's exposed collarbone, opening his mouth a bit wider to press his fangs against the erratically beating pulse, and gently - ever so gently - bit down.
"Filthy sodomite!" As if sensing his big adopted brother being ravished, Siwon burst into the room wielding a fancy ruby-encrusted silver cross that looked rather expensive and started waving it in front of the astonished pair leaning against the wall. "You prick that seduced Hankyung-hyung, whatever your name is, bet you can't stand to have this cross shoved up your nostrils!" He let out a ridiculous cackle that sounded much more fitting coming out of an bimbo like Heechul than a big musclehead with too-tight priest robes and bushy eyebrows, and stabbed the crucifix into Ryeowook's ear. (His aim was slightly off.)
The cross did, to some extent, work. Just not in the way Siwon was expecting, with fireworks and smoke and Ryeowook writhing on the floor, shrieking in pernicious agony as he shriveled up into little flakes of ash. It did, however, banish The Voice's presence from Ryeowook's mind, and in doing so, release its grip on Ryeowook's body. However, this would have a long-term effect on Ryeowook's ability to perceive sound, and for the rest of his days Ryeowook would be prone to sudden bouts of shrieking - particularly when in the presence of Siwon - if he didn't have his hearing aids on.
"What the- Is this silver cross completely worthless or something?" The cross clattered to the gound as Siwon let go and glared at Ryeowook. "Why are you just sitting there like a braindead goldfish?" His eyes took on an understanding glint. "Oh, I know your type." He wagged a finger accusingly in Ryeowook's face. "Cunning, manipulative, and sneakier than a roomful of investment bankers. You're probably after treasure of some kind, and you thought you could get it through Hankyung-hyung, eh?"
This of course was all true, but Ryeowook couldn't say that - not if he didn't want to die a very painful death a second time. So he went on the offensive.
"I'm sorry, but you've gone too far. First," he said, counting off his fingers, "you call me names. Then you tied me up and tried to sacrifice me to your god. And you call me names again. As if that wasn't enough, you had the gall to shove a piece of metal in my face in a desperate attempt to kill me, then insult me yet again.
He detached himself from Hankyung's chest - not particularly caring if his elbows jabbed into soft flesh - and took on the traditional amateur fighting pose: feet apart, fists up, and chin raised stubbornly with teeth gritted so they won't fall out when he gets inevitably punched in the mouth.
This is incredibly stupid, a nagging little voice (thankfully not The Voice) at the back of Ryeowook's head chided. He's twice your size. Just look at those prodigious pecs!
Ryeowook ignored it and declared, "Prepare to defend yourself, Father. You won't make fun of me ever again. Never ever-"
*
Pairing: Hankyung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em
Summary: The heartwarming love story of fail!vampire Ryeowook and the local intellectualist, Mr. Beijing Fried Rice. As told by DBSK.
The first thing he noticed was that it was really hot. Ryeowook surveyed the scene before him; it appeared that he was on a...roof of a building, of all places. On the ground, several stories below, lava was flowing steadily, and floating in the melted volcanic matter was a dingey that, despite being made of wood, wasn't catching fire. But what really caught his attention was the sight of his own body sprawled across the floor of the small boat, and the chain that connected from a hook on the dingey to the edge of the building - to prevent the boat from sweeping away, thought Ryeowook. Now how he knew that was another question.
"Welcome to hell," said a disembodied voice from behind him - it sounded neither male nor female, but had a familiar ring to it. Ryeowook whipped around, startled, but to his surprise nobody was there.
"Uncle Heechul already said that to me ages ago," he said testily, feeling painfully stupid for talking to what seemed to be empty space. "I'm not going to fall for the same trick twice."
There was a cough. "No really," The Voice insisted. "And this really is hell. You're dead."
"Huh?" was Ryeowook's incredibly witty reply.
"Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"No," Ryeowook said irritatedly. "I know how to spell 'hell.'"
"That was a rhetorical question, you imbecile. Meaning, you're not suppose to answer it."
Ryeowook tried to smile, but right facial muscles didn't seem to like smiling anymore. In fact, Ryeowook would go so far as to say they hated that particular motion. The result was a grotesque sneer that made The Voice wince very audibly in disgust.
"Eww, that looks weird. Stop smiling."
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE?!" Ryeowook exploded. "It's melted! I feel like a Barbie doll that's spontaneously combusted from radioactive poisoning in a microwave!"
"It's simply a bad case of sunburn," The Voice answered. "Except that 'bad case of sunburn' was the indubitable cause of your death."
"You're still going on about that?" Ryeowook groaned. "Who are you, anyway?"
The Voice rolled metaphorical eyes. "I'm the nonphysical manisfetion of your negative emotions you have suppressed for the past century or so."
"Ah," Ryeowook said, nodding as if he knew exactly what The Voice was talking about. "That totally explains why I'm talking to a voice in my head. Oh dear lord help me I'm insane I'm insane I'm insane!"
"I don't get paid enough for this," The Voice mumbled tiredly. It lapsed into silence, then spoke up slyly, "Hey, you want to get out of this hellhole, don't you?"
Ryeowook gave the best What-Are-You-A-Moron look he could manage with only half his face functioning.
"I'll make a deal with you. Do it and I'll let you off. No strings attached. You'll never hear from me again...That is, if you can steal that amulet from that one friend of yours."
"What friend?" Ryeowook was confused, since he doesn't recall meeting any friends since he got here, only deranged psycopaths. "What amulet?"
"Pretty Chinese dude with pretty necklace," The Voice replied sarcastically. "I hope you don't mind that I put it into simple enough words for your tiny insufficient brain to comprehend."
"You're mean." Ryeowook crossed his arms and stuck his nose in the air. "And why should I steal Hankyung-hyung's necklace thingie? Heck, how do I steal it is the bigger question here."
"Make a bet with him," The Voice offered helpfully. "If you win, you get the amulet. If you lose, he gets to do whatever he wants with you."
"Nope." Ryeowook shook his head. "I think I have the worst luck ever when it comes to gambling."
"You could always beat him up," suggested The Voice.
"Yeah. Um. That won't work," Ryeowook said, gesturing at his scrawny body. "I'm almost a head shorter than he is, and I hear he's a martial arts expert."
"Sleep with him!" The Voice finally shouted, exasperated.
"But, but," Ryeowook stuttered, and he would've turned a bright scarlet if he could blush, "but that involves physical contact in an...icky way."
There was the sound of somebody smacking their head repeatedly against a hard surface. "Let us toast to your non-idiocy."
"But what productivity is there in a love between two men?" Ryeowook protested, thinking of a litany of reasons exactly why it was a bad idea, like, Please, he's a man, and, He's a freakin' slab of edible meat, to Yeah, but he's totally hot, and finally, Oh my god I think my brain is gay. Ryeowook decided to go with the classic: "Why do you think God made Adam and Eve-"
"Stuff it," The Voice interrupted snidely. "You can't reproduce anyway, so that body of yours isn't good for much but sex."
"You're too kind," muttered Ryeowook.
"Seduce him!" The Voice commanded in a loud voice, clearly trying to be intimidating but failing miserably. "But don't let him see your face, 'cause he doesn't look like the type to go for underaged boys-"
"I don't want to."
The Voice spluttered incredulously, sounding spectacularly like a drowning duck. "I'm the closest thing to Satan here. I can do this-"
Ryeowook blanched as a pillar of fire erupted from the ground an inch from his nose.
"-if you don't listen to what I say."
"Okay okay," Ryeowook agreed hastily. "So you want me to just bite him on the neck or something? He does smell kinda appetizing, and I am kinda hungry..."
"Go for it, since apparantly wanting to literally eat your potential soon-to-be lover is deeply romantic, not deeply disturbing."
"But you said you wanted me 'seduce' him. Doesn't that involve draining him of all his blood..."
"I didn't mean for you to kill him!" The Voice exclaimed. "Oh my god why didn't I pick an easier person?"
"Should you really be pleading to God?" Ryeowook wondered. "You know, since you're supposedly the devil, or close to it and all..."
"Shut up and get going." An invisible force shoved him off the roof and he plummetted through the air toward the molten lava where his body was waiting for him.
*
He slowly opened his eyes.
What appeared to be an extremely muscular fly was staring down at him.
Ryeowook opened his mouth and let loose a bloodcurdling scream that sent jagged bolts of pain shooting up the his temples, causing him to choke on his spit mid-scream and convulse until he flipped off the bed he was lying on to crack his chin quite painfully against the hard marble floor.
Hankyung's relieved face swam into his view of vision. "Ryeowook! You're awake!"
"Jeez, can this guy state the obvious or what?"
Ryeowook froze. The Voice. Why was it here?
"I'm just here to guide you along and make sure you don't slack off, my dear boy," The Voice said cheerfully.
Ryeowook was tempted to throw himself in the sun again. If he died, at least he would be rid of that annoying Voice.
"Don't even try it," it advised. "If you do I'll just haunt you for the rest of your afterlife."
"Uh, are you okay?"
Ryeowook didn't answer, too horrified was he at the prospect of living forever with a demented voice in his head.
"Touch him. Maybe he'll snap out of it," suggested the fly.
"Good idea," Hankyung agreed.
The next thing Ryeowook knew he was dragged to his knees and enveloped in strong arms, his nose crushed to a firm chest. Ryeowook found himself relaxing despite himself - the heady, intoxicating scent was starting to make him light-headed.
"Seems like this won't be a tough job for you after all," The Voice chuckled. "Look, he's practically on top of you already. Now all you need to do is swipe that amulet of his and run like hell."
"Are you stupid?" Ryeowook snapped, accidentally out loud. Immediately after he said it the warm pressure disappeared and Hankyung backed away, mouth twisted in disappointment and eyes as sad as a kicked puppy's.
Ryeowook mentally cursed The Voice and hurridly said, "Not you, hyung. The voice in my head."
Wonderful; now he was getting stares like he was crazy.
"Hyung, is this person all right?" the fly asked uneasily. "He claims he has a voice in his head, and half his features is melted off." The look on his face instantly turned suspicious. "Does this have to do with the sun?"
Ryeowook made a strangled noise that was somewhere between Why does the universe hate me and Oh god it's all over. It was all over. He should just go stab himself with the nearest toothpick and get it over with. "Uh," he managed weakly, "it's-"
"A failed plastic surgery operation," Hankyung intercepted smoothly. "Siwon, it's a very delicate matter for Ryeowook - his appearance and all. It would be kinder of you to not question this sort of thing."
"Understood, hyung," Siwon said, snapping a hand to his forehead in a military salute.
"And please take off those glasses. It's very rude to our guest for you to hide your face."
Siwon obediantly took off his sunglasses, and that's when Ryeowook finally got a good look at him.
Oh god. The eyebrows! Thick, black lines of curled facial hair that creepily moved up and down, when the rest of Siwon was still. It made him look like a man whose scalp was being attacked by giant hairy caterpillars.
Siwon squinted. "Is your wound healing?"
"Yeah, er, I heal fast." Ryeowook could feel cold sweat trickling down his spine. "It's all in the genes," he babbled nervously. "Yup, good, strong genes. Not a vampire - gross, blood-drinking, undead things, no way I would be one, ehehe..." He trailed off in favor of focusing on edging away.
Siwon lunged.
Hankyung sighed.
Ryeowook screamed a desolate "NOOO!!!" and tried to run. Shame; he almost made it, too.
*
"You're at my mercy now," said Siwon. He gloated triumphantly at the sight of Ryeowook kneeling at his feet, ankles and wrists bound so tightly his pale skin lightened to near transparency, and planted a foot the size of a frying pan on Ryeowook's back. "Die quietly, or suffer the consequences."
Ryeowook stopped gnawing on the rope, considered this for a moment, and then head-butted him in the groin.
"Blasphemy!" Siwon croaked, toppling to the ground in a very manly fashion. At the same time, Ryeowook broke free of his confines and started hobbling toward the door in hopes of escaping, when Siwon staggered to his feet, glaring at Ryeowook with a look of what could only be described as pure loathing in the bloodshot eyes full of pain. Hankyung hurried forward to restrain the bear-like man from squishing Ryeowook's insides out his ears.
"Get out," Siwon squeaked menacingly, sounding very much like a constipated mouse on helium. "I forbid you to stay in here. Since you're hyung's guest, I'll be polite and not kill you off right away. Now scram before I exorcise your butt off the face of the Earth."
Ryeowook didn't argue; then again, who would argue with a six-foot-and-then-some-more Asian built like a linebacker with muscles to rival a Michelangelo statue?
"Why?" The Voice inquired, using Ryeowook as a mouthpiece. Okay, so it would, but it, technically speaking, didn't exist, in a sense, so it didn't count.
Siwon gave Ryeowook a filthy look. "You are a vampire. A son of Judas. An evil undead minion of Satan with an unhealthy thirst for the very life-giving liquid that keeps the rest of the world that are not freaks alive. And you ask me why I forbid you to step foot in my house? You are a stupid moron idiot with brains of a dead maggot."
"Why is everyone calling me an idiot one way or another?" Ryeowook grumbled. It's all The Voice's fault, he added silently, the bitter twist of his lips slightly marring his now perfectly un-sunburned, perfectly symmetrical features.
"Because you are," Siwon informed him sullenly.
"You weren't suppose to answer that," Ryeowook pointed out. "It was a rhetorical question."
Siwon grimaced. "I don't need a grammer lesson."
"Why?" Ryeowook asked innocently. "If you don't know it, then it makes sense for someone to tell you." He hid behind Hankyung as Siwon turned a violent beetroot color. "I'm scared," he confessed, in a slight whisper, to Hankyung's jacket. It was a very nice color, he noticed. Kind of a yellow-green with spots of beige. Good quality too.
"Hankyung-hyung, tell the stupid moron idiot if he asks any more stupid questions I will turn his tiny worm brain into pig droppings," snarled Siwon, stalking out with a dramatic flourish.
Ryeowook flinched as the door slammed shut with enough force that the hinges rattled. Hankyung swiveled around to look at him. "Don't mind Siwon. He's kind of violent, but he's got a good heart. Now you," Hankyung scowled in mock anger, "you don't seem like the rebellious, little devil type to nitpick at someone's mistake."
Ryeowook, with a childish pout, lightly hit Hankyung's arm and embarrassedly turned away from the older man's gently laughing eyes.
"Now's your chance!" The Voice urged, after two whole peaceful, quiet, undisturbed minutes have passed with Ryeowook showing no sign of fullfilling his side of their bargain. "Get him!"
Ryeowook stubbornly shook his head.
"...Very well then."
A quick mental zap, and Ryeowook's limbs were completely taken over by The Voice, which proceeded to manhandle Ryeowook's movements so inefficiently that Hankyung was bodyslammed into the wall, which gave away under their combined weight and momentum. For a few seconds Ryeowook's arms swung around with all the grace of an three-legged hippo before his hands finally latched onto Hankyung's hair and used it to yank the man's head back, baring his throat. Ryeowook involuntarily cupped Hankyung's cheek with one hand, stroking his thumb over the sharp cheek bone.
"What are you doing?" demanded Hankyung, all humor gone and now trying with no success to push Ryeowook off. "I would've never pegged you for a pervert."
Ryeowook was forced to bat his eyelids and say something cheesy like, I want you, but it really meant, Oh yeah, 'cause I'm totally groping some guy whom I've known for less than twenty-four hours in a completely sexual and infinitely disturbing way for the kicks. Right. Like he would actually do that, even if the guy was hot.
"Hey-" Hankyung's weak protest turned into a gutteral moan as Ryeowook lapped at Hankyung's exposed collarbone, opening his mouth a bit wider to press his fangs against the erratically beating pulse, and gently - ever so gently - bit down.
"Filthy sodomite!" As if sensing his big adopted brother being ravished, Siwon burst into the room wielding a fancy ruby-encrusted silver cross that looked rather expensive and started waving it in front of the astonished pair leaning against the wall. "You prick that seduced Hankyung-hyung, whatever your name is, bet you can't stand to have this cross shoved up your nostrils!" He let out a ridiculous cackle that sounded much more fitting coming out of an bimbo like Heechul than a big musclehead with too-tight priest robes and bushy eyebrows, and stabbed the crucifix into Ryeowook's ear. (His aim was slightly off.)
The cross did, to some extent, work. Just not in the way Siwon was expecting, with fireworks and smoke and Ryeowook writhing on the floor, shrieking in pernicious agony as he shriveled up into little flakes of ash. It did, however, banish The Voice's presence from Ryeowook's mind, and in doing so, release its grip on Ryeowook's body. However, this would have a long-term effect on Ryeowook's ability to perceive sound, and for the rest of his days Ryeowook would be prone to sudden bouts of shrieking - particularly when in the presence of Siwon - if he didn't have his hearing aids on.
"What the- Is this silver cross completely worthless or something?" The cross clattered to the gound as Siwon let go and glared at Ryeowook. "Why are you just sitting there like a braindead goldfish?" His eyes took on an understanding glint. "Oh, I know your type." He wagged a finger accusingly in Ryeowook's face. "Cunning, manipulative, and sneakier than a roomful of investment bankers. You're probably after treasure of some kind, and you thought you could get it through Hankyung-hyung, eh?"
This of course was all true, but Ryeowook couldn't say that - not if he didn't want to die a very painful death a second time. So he went on the offensive.
"I'm sorry, but you've gone too far. First," he said, counting off his fingers, "you call me names. Then you tied me up and tried to sacrifice me to your god. And you call me names again. As if that wasn't enough, you had the gall to shove a piece of metal in my face in a desperate attempt to kill me, then insult me yet again.
He detached himself from Hankyung's chest - not particularly caring if his elbows jabbed into soft flesh - and took on the traditional amateur fighting pose: feet apart, fists up, and chin raised stubbornly with teeth gritted so they won't fall out when he gets inevitably punched in the mouth.
This is incredibly stupid, a nagging little voice (thankfully not The Voice) at the back of Ryeowook's head chided. He's twice your size. Just look at those prodigious pecs!
Ryeowook ignored it and declared, "Prepare to defend yourself, Father. You won't make fun of me ever again. Never ever-"
*