Fic: The Vampire's Bride (2/?)
Title: The Vampire's Bride (2/?)
Pairing: Hankyung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em
Summary: The heartwarming love story of fail!vampire Ryeowook and the local intellectualist, Mr. Beijing Fried Rice. As told by DBSK.
According to Kangin, Ryeowook was a failure. A disgrace. A dud.
So Ryeowook found the idea of drinking blood repulsive; big deal. In his defense, it was rather gross having the same food source as mosquitoes. Even if it tasted good - which it does, in a metallic, earthy kind of way - there were so many things wrong on so many different levels with biting someone's neck to drink their body fluid that most likely contained gajillions of harmful microbes. Though that didn't stop him from raiding the fridge every ten minutes for a yummy blood pudding or an extra rare steak. (He blamed it on his metabolism.)
There was also the matter on his physical appearance. As far as he knew, most of Ryeowook's family were tall, leanly muscled/just plain bulky, and practically 'oozed' a sexy, mysterious aura. (Or in Kangin's case, a thuglike aura.) On the contrary, Ryeowook was short, scrawny, and lucky if the weekly sacrifice didn't catch sight of him and go, "Awwwww, you're sooooo cute," before dying of blood loss.
Plus, he didn't approve of a lot of vampire things (i.e. being a promiscuous gentleman who inveigles the first harlot he sees) and wasn't very good at them. This was probably what had prompted Kangin's decision to send him to live in the country with his eccentric uncles.
"Pardon?" Ryeowook said politely, not sure he had heard right. "Could you please repeat what you just said?"
"You heard me," said Kangin, a grim expression fixed on his face. "I'm kicking you out. Forcing you to fend for yourself amongst wild animals."
"Um, living with Uncle Heechul and Uncle Yesung hardly qualifies as 'dangerous.'" They weren't really his uncles; no vampire, unless related to each other before turning into a vampire, were actually related by blood, but it was kind of a requirement to call them "Uncle" because a) Ryeowook was too polite to do otherwise, even if Yesung insisted on him dropping the title, b) Heechul prefered to be called with an honorific by anyone younger than he, and c) if Ryeowook didn't do so, he would inevitably find himself tied to a stake in broad daylight on the roof of the church while Heechul cackled madly as he lit Ryeowook on fire.
Kangin scoffed. "Clearly you haven't seen them at the dinner table."
Heechul and Yesung were Kangin's older brothers...in a sense. They were actually 'created' before Kangin (if one to two minutes even counted) and so, being seriously picky about these matters, Heechul had forced Kangin to call him 'hyung,' which may have contributed to how Kangin didn't seem to care too much for them - not that it stopped him from using them as babysitters now that he's decided Ryeowook was bringing too much shame to the family.
Yesung was a wizard - actually, he was a vampire-turned-wizard, and the reason for this was very simple: Yesung claimed that one day, he just felt sick of killing people for food (Ryeowook can relate) and decided, after two centuries of lazing around, to do something productive that will benefit the good of society. Thus the wizard. He was okay, as far as Ryeowook could recall (which wasn't much, having not had any contact with his uncles after the last traumatic incident), but he wasn't likely to be much fun, because the only thing Ryeowook could remember about him was that he tried too hard and failed a lot.
Heechul...was a drama queen. He was very keen on attention, very outgoing, confident, brutally honest, and, in Ryeowook's opinion, basically a second Kangin, only more feminine.
That wasn't a very appealing thought. So Ryeowook decided, if he had to have a Kangin in his life, it might as well be the one he's more familiar to.
"No way," Kangin said flatly.
"You didn't even hear my idea!" Ryeowook protested. "I was going to say-"
"No."
"But-"
"Uh uh."
"You-"
"Nope."
*
And so he arrived at the village after a three hour ride of nausea, cramps, and pain everywhere from being nearly poked to death by all those zippers and metal spikey things that Eeteuk insisted on attaching to his clothes - if they could be even called clothes. He pulled at his tight, tight, tight black pants, examined his, again, tight, black t-shirt/jacket ensemble, scuffed his black boots, plucked his dangly silver earing, and peered out the window, trying to find the familiar faces of his relatives.
That wasn't really the smartest thing to do, considering it was pitch black. See, vampires were like bats, in that they mostly relied on their other senses besides sight to move around in the dark.
"Hey, kid, are ya gettin' off or not?" came the irritated voice of them bus driver. Ryeowook supposed the driver had a valid reason for being irritated; he kept forgetting that most humans were asleep at two a.m.
"Sorry, sorry," Ryeowook apologized, gathering his bag and tripping out the door. He looked around again and found nobody. Huh, maybe they had forgotten. Sighing, he slung his bag over his shoulder and started trudging down the road. Kangin had told him that his Heechul and Yesung lived in a gigantic run-down mansion a few miles from Ryeowook's bus stop.
"Keep going until you see a big, crappy house that looks like a chicken coop," were his exact words.
After walking so long his feet felt like they were going to fall off, Ryeowook finally spotted said house. Wow, it really did look like a chicken coop. Straightening his jacket and smoothing down his hair, he reached forward and rang the doorbell.
"Omigawd you're so adorable!" The next thing he knew he was enveloped in a vice-like grip; he couldn't breathe (not that he needed to; he was a vampire, after all, but it was the principal of the matter), his bones felt like they were cracking, he was seeing spots, oh dear god he was going to die-
"Sungmin, let go of him before he suffocates!" The hold loosened, and Ryeowook stumbled back, eyes bugged out from lack of oxygen. It took him a couple of seconds before the world stopped spinning and he could focus on the pair standing in front of him.
They were blindingly pink.
Like, Pink and Pinker.
"You're not Uncle Yesung," a bewildered Ryeowook said, pointing at Pink. He swung his head to Pinker, whom Pink was, with great difficulty, restraining. "And you're definitely not Uncle Heechul."
"That's kind of obvious," Pink grunted, doubling over when Pinker's elbow jabbed his stomach. Pinker pounced.
Ryeowook sort of screamed and half ducked, eyes tightly screwed shut as he waited for the inevitable impact.
It didn't come.
Ryeowook opened his eyes cautiously. Pinker had disappeared, and Pink looked extremely miffed. It took Ryeowook about a minute to comprehend that the tiny pink bunny crawling out of Pinker's clothes was, in fact, Pinker.
And the strange person with the pointed hat and purple polka dotted robes waving a knobbly twig was, in fact, his uncle Yesung.
Pink didn't seem surprised, merely exasperated. "You turned him into a bunny again?" he sighed. "Be more creative, and next time turn him into a, I don't know, crocodile."
"Now now, Kyuhyun," Yesung tsked. "I wouldn't want to make Sungmin feel bad. You know how much he loves bunnies..." He trailed off and the two of them stared at Pinker admiring his reflection in the brilliance of Ryeowook's shiny (and tight) pants.
"Uncle Yesung?"
"Oh, Ryeowook!" Yesung gasped, just seeming to notice that Ryeowook had been standing there for the past five minutes. "You're early!"
Ryeowook checked his watch and looked at Yesung weirdly. "Actually, I'm right on time. Your watch must be slow."
"When you're immortal you tend to lose track of time," Yesung said carelessly. "I wasn't expecting you for another two hours, at least. Oh, and this is Lee Sungmin - the bunny - and Cho Kyuhyun." He nodded at the ones formerly known to Ryeowook as Pink and Pinker. "I told them to meet you here, in case I didn't come back in time. Top secret mission, y'know." Wink wink. "But I did, so it's all right."
Ryeowook slowly nodded as if he knew exactly what Yesung was talking about and peered down at his leg, on which Sungmin was busy gnawing. He bent, extracted the limb from the bunny's sharp teeth, and gently passed said bunny over to Kyuhyun.
"Yeah, he has a tendacy to bite things," Yesung sighed, in response to Ryeowook's pained expression. "Unfortunately, the more I turn him into an herbivore, the more he behaves like the vampire he is. It's pretty disturbing to see a pink bunny bare bloodstained teeth at you."
"You're a vampire?" Ryeowook asked Sungmin, who had once more occupied himself with chewing on Kyuhyun's jacket sleeve.
Sungmin paused his relentless gnawing. "Technically," he replied, shocking Ryeowook - who had every right to be shocked. It wasn't everyday one saw a carnivorous talking pink bunny. "I'd much rather not be; my whole family is, and they're a bunch of pigs. Figuratively speaking, of course."
"Of course," Ryeowook echoed weakly, internally debating whether if it'd be too drastic if he made a run for it. He would have, too, had not for the hand that gripped his shoulder from the behind, pinning him in place. He whirled around and came face to chest with the self-proclaimed 'Cinderella' of the Kim family.
"Yo."
*
Pairing: Hankyung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em
Summary: The heartwarming love story of fail!vampire Ryeowook and the local intellectualist, Mr. Beijing Fried Rice. As told by DBSK.
According to Kangin, Ryeowook was a failure. A disgrace. A dud.
So Ryeowook found the idea of drinking blood repulsive; big deal. In his defense, it was rather gross having the same food source as mosquitoes. Even if it tasted good - which it does, in a metallic, earthy kind of way - there were so many things wrong on so many different levels with biting someone's neck to drink their body fluid that most likely contained gajillions of harmful microbes. Though that didn't stop him from raiding the fridge every ten minutes for a yummy blood pudding or an extra rare steak. (He blamed it on his metabolism.)
There was also the matter on his physical appearance. As far as he knew, most of Ryeowook's family were tall, leanly muscled/just plain bulky, and practically 'oozed' a sexy, mysterious aura. (Or in Kangin's case, a thuglike aura.) On the contrary, Ryeowook was short, scrawny, and lucky if the weekly sacrifice didn't catch sight of him and go, "Awwwww, you're sooooo cute," before dying of blood loss.
Plus, he didn't approve of a lot of vampire things (i.e. being a promiscuous gentleman who inveigles the first harlot he sees) and wasn't very good at them. This was probably what had prompted Kangin's decision to send him to live in the country with his eccentric uncles.
"Pardon?" Ryeowook said politely, not sure he had heard right. "Could you please repeat what you just said?"
"You heard me," said Kangin, a grim expression fixed on his face. "I'm kicking you out. Forcing you to fend for yourself amongst wild animals."
"Um, living with Uncle Heechul and Uncle Yesung hardly qualifies as 'dangerous.'" They weren't really his uncles; no vampire, unless related to each other before turning into a vampire, were actually related by blood, but it was kind of a requirement to call them "Uncle" because a) Ryeowook was too polite to do otherwise, even if Yesung insisted on him dropping the title, b) Heechul prefered to be called with an honorific by anyone younger than he, and c) if Ryeowook didn't do so, he would inevitably find himself tied to a stake in broad daylight on the roof of the church while Heechul cackled madly as he lit Ryeowook on fire.
Kangin scoffed. "Clearly you haven't seen them at the dinner table."
Heechul and Yesung were Kangin's older brothers...in a sense. They were actually 'created' before Kangin (if one to two minutes even counted) and so, being seriously picky about these matters, Heechul had forced Kangin to call him 'hyung,' which may have contributed to how Kangin didn't seem to care too much for them - not that it stopped him from using them as babysitters now that he's decided Ryeowook was bringing too much shame to the family.
Yesung was a wizard - actually, he was a vampire-turned-wizard, and the reason for this was very simple: Yesung claimed that one day, he just felt sick of killing people for food (Ryeowook can relate) and decided, after two centuries of lazing around, to do something productive that will benefit the good of society. Thus the wizard. He was okay, as far as Ryeowook could recall (which wasn't much, having not had any contact with his uncles after the last traumatic incident), but he wasn't likely to be much fun, because the only thing Ryeowook could remember about him was that he tried too hard and failed a lot.
Heechul...was a drama queen. He was very keen on attention, very outgoing, confident, brutally honest, and, in Ryeowook's opinion, basically a second Kangin, only more feminine.
That wasn't a very appealing thought. So Ryeowook decided, if he had to have a Kangin in his life, it might as well be the one he's more familiar to.
"No way," Kangin said flatly.
"You didn't even hear my idea!" Ryeowook protested. "I was going to say-"
"No."
"But-"
"Uh uh."
"You-"
"Nope."
*
And so he arrived at the village after a three hour ride of nausea, cramps, and pain everywhere from being nearly poked to death by all those zippers and metal spikey things that Eeteuk insisted on attaching to his clothes - if they could be even called clothes. He pulled at his tight, tight, tight black pants, examined his, again, tight, black t-shirt/jacket ensemble, scuffed his black boots, plucked his dangly silver earing, and peered out the window, trying to find the familiar faces of his relatives.
That wasn't really the smartest thing to do, considering it was pitch black. See, vampires were like bats, in that they mostly relied on their other senses besides sight to move around in the dark.
"Hey, kid, are ya gettin' off or not?" came the irritated voice of them bus driver. Ryeowook supposed the driver had a valid reason for being irritated; he kept forgetting that most humans were asleep at two a.m.
"Sorry, sorry," Ryeowook apologized, gathering his bag and tripping out the door. He looked around again and found nobody. Huh, maybe they had forgotten. Sighing, he slung his bag over his shoulder and started trudging down the road. Kangin had told him that his Heechul and Yesung lived in a gigantic run-down mansion a few miles from Ryeowook's bus stop.
"Keep going until you see a big, crappy house that looks like a chicken coop," were his exact words.
After walking so long his feet felt like they were going to fall off, Ryeowook finally spotted said house. Wow, it really did look like a chicken coop. Straightening his jacket and smoothing down his hair, he reached forward and rang the doorbell.
"Omigawd you're so adorable!" The next thing he knew he was enveloped in a vice-like grip; he couldn't breathe (not that he needed to; he was a vampire, after all, but it was the principal of the matter), his bones felt like they were cracking, he was seeing spots, oh dear god he was going to die-
"Sungmin, let go of him before he suffocates!" The hold loosened, and Ryeowook stumbled back, eyes bugged out from lack of oxygen. It took him a couple of seconds before the world stopped spinning and he could focus on the pair standing in front of him.
They were blindingly pink.
Like, Pink and Pinker.
"You're not Uncle Yesung," a bewildered Ryeowook said, pointing at Pink. He swung his head to Pinker, whom Pink was, with great difficulty, restraining. "And you're definitely not Uncle Heechul."
"That's kind of obvious," Pink grunted, doubling over when Pinker's elbow jabbed his stomach. Pinker pounced.
Ryeowook sort of screamed and half ducked, eyes tightly screwed shut as he waited for the inevitable impact.
It didn't come.
Ryeowook opened his eyes cautiously. Pinker had disappeared, and Pink looked extremely miffed. It took Ryeowook about a minute to comprehend that the tiny pink bunny crawling out of Pinker's clothes was, in fact, Pinker.
And the strange person with the pointed hat and purple polka dotted robes waving a knobbly twig was, in fact, his uncle Yesung.
Pink didn't seem surprised, merely exasperated. "You turned him into a bunny again?" he sighed. "Be more creative, and next time turn him into a, I don't know, crocodile."
"Now now, Kyuhyun," Yesung tsked. "I wouldn't want to make Sungmin feel bad. You know how much he loves bunnies..." He trailed off and the two of them stared at Pinker admiring his reflection in the brilliance of Ryeowook's shiny (and tight) pants.
"Uncle Yesung?"
"Oh, Ryeowook!" Yesung gasped, just seeming to notice that Ryeowook had been standing there for the past five minutes. "You're early!"
Ryeowook checked his watch and looked at Yesung weirdly. "Actually, I'm right on time. Your watch must be slow."
"When you're immortal you tend to lose track of time," Yesung said carelessly. "I wasn't expecting you for another two hours, at least. Oh, and this is Lee Sungmin - the bunny - and Cho Kyuhyun." He nodded at the ones formerly known to Ryeowook as Pink and Pinker. "I told them to meet you here, in case I didn't come back in time. Top secret mission, y'know." Wink wink. "But I did, so it's all right."
Ryeowook slowly nodded as if he knew exactly what Yesung was talking about and peered down at his leg, on which Sungmin was busy gnawing. He bent, extracted the limb from the bunny's sharp teeth, and gently passed said bunny over to Kyuhyun.
"Yeah, he has a tendacy to bite things," Yesung sighed, in response to Ryeowook's pained expression. "Unfortunately, the more I turn him into an herbivore, the more he behaves like the vampire he is. It's pretty disturbing to see a pink bunny bare bloodstained teeth at you."
"You're a vampire?" Ryeowook asked Sungmin, who had once more occupied himself with chewing on Kyuhyun's jacket sleeve.
Sungmin paused his relentless gnawing. "Technically," he replied, shocking Ryeowook - who had every right to be shocked. It wasn't everyday one saw a carnivorous talking pink bunny. "I'd much rather not be; my whole family is, and they're a bunch of pigs. Figuratively speaking, of course."
"Of course," Ryeowook echoed weakly, internally debating whether if it'd be too drastic if he made a run for it. He would have, too, had not for the hand that gripped his shoulder from the behind, pinning him in place. He whirled around and came face to chest with the self-proclaimed 'Cinderella' of the Kim family.
"Yo."
*