<3 <3 <3 Valentine'z Day! <3 <3 <3

[xtina25]

Hey, for me this is kinda a love day AND a healing day. The boyfriend flipped out yesterday due to associating me with past people he's been with. This is kinda a sensitive time for him, didn't go too well for him last year..so it's my job to pick up the broken pieces..but that's NOT in my job description..i should be getting paid for this bullshit! where the $$$$ at?!?! this is voluntarily helping his confused, paranoid ass! oh well, if it means going through all the heartache and tears to heal him and keep him, i'm willing to do it. i'm so much stronger than any gurl i've ever known. when i say i'm with someone, i'm with them to the bitter end, good times and bad. same thing goes with my frenz. unless someone is a danger to my well-being/ emotional state, i dont back out just cuz they're going through some hard times. its a lot of stress for me, but i can't help but be there for people who need it. so now i am faced with a great challenge to withstand the evils of history repeating itself. its my job (volunteer job) to make sure that doesn't happen, even thought in the process im becoming almost numb. but he needs to be reassured that I won't just run out on him and forget who he is..its SUCH hard work, BUT i've come out alive before..i think i can do it again. if i keep reassuring myself that only good can come of this. if something goes wrong inside me, it's not that bad because in due time i'll know how to fix it. But if something goes wrong inside him, im screwed because I can't reach into his skin and change his feelings..i'd rather end up the deformed one here..since im already half way there.i'll just deal with it in awkward states of mind and random acts of nothingness and unimportance..oh well..wish my insanity LUCK! this is one of the fastest rides I have been on in SUCH a long time. peace out and enjoy ur valentine's day..have fun with ur sweetie, and if ur single and think luv sux, just be happy that ur NOT going through the torment i am right now....Bub-Bi!

Visit www.ericcolville.com for mp3's and hear the band i sing in..yay!!!!

V A L E N T I N E S D A Y I S A P A R A D O X !