Lost
Lately I've just been out of control, and it's like I am aware of what I'm doing, but I can't stop myself from doing it. It's not stubborness or the fact that I just simply don't want to, it's a thought in my head that keeps me from doing anything. Yesterday I totally fuck'd up the ISTEP cos something clicked and I just was NOT going to do it no matter what, I knew I needed to take it to graduate, but inside my head I just did not care! Then this morning, this dude was helping me with my Math and Linda came over there and asked where my assignment was, and I said I didn't do it cos it was stupid, I dunno why I said that, cos I didn't even know what assignment she was even talking about, then all the sudden she slammed down my books and that totally just off-set my day cos now I can't consentrate about anything, and I just want to leave, but can't cos I have to go to work today. Everything in my life is just all wrong.
And then last night I got my net to work so I could finally have a chance to talk to Kara which she was busy, all good, but then it kind of made me mad that she asked if I was trying to make her feel bad. No I was not! I'm sick of people accusing me of shit that I didn't do or that I'm not doing, yeah I'm a lazy fat fuck end of story.
This life, why the fuck did I choose it? Because I could handle it? Yeah ok, something says this is just a big joke being played on my by god. If there really even is one, because I have yet to see any help. I'm seriousy drownding here and I have NOTHING. I've seriously just about had it with EVERYTHING. The only time people seem to come around is if they need help with something or want me to do something for them, and bluntly put I'm done with it! If I have no friends now, fine so be it, I'm just being honest I never knew honesty was such a bad thing! I'm just seriously at a point in my life where stupid high school shit does not matter anymore. If anyone could life my life and see what I've got to put up with they'd maybe, just maybe understand a lil better what I'm talking about, but since everyone else has some what of a good life and good friend they can depend on, and are somewhat close with their families then they really shouldn't have a reason to complain!
Love is not forever
Friendship is not forever
There is nothing set in stone
You're on your own
Dependence is followed by weakness
Don't be your own hostage
If I know so many
Why don't they know me
They don't know me
Now I know what we're made of
Confusion, Complication, and Uncertainty
I thought this was real, I was wrong
So I don't'know
And then last night I got my net to work so I could finally have a chance to talk to Kara which she was busy, all good, but then it kind of made me mad that she asked if I was trying to make her feel bad. No I was not! I'm sick of people accusing me of shit that I didn't do or that I'm not doing, yeah I'm a lazy fat fuck end of story.
This life, why the fuck did I choose it? Because I could handle it? Yeah ok, something says this is just a big joke being played on my by god. If there really even is one, because I have yet to see any help. I'm seriousy drownding here and I have NOTHING. I've seriously just about had it with EVERYTHING. The only time people seem to come around is if they need help with something or want me to do something for them, and bluntly put I'm done with it! If I have no friends now, fine so be it, I'm just being honest I never knew honesty was such a bad thing! I'm just seriously at a point in my life where stupid high school shit does not matter anymore. If anyone could life my life and see what I've got to put up with they'd maybe, just maybe understand a lil better what I'm talking about, but since everyone else has some what of a good life and good friend they can depend on, and are somewhat close with their families then they really shouldn't have a reason to complain!
Love is not forever
Friendship is not forever
There is nothing set in stone
You're on your own
Dependence is followed by weakness
Don't be your own hostage
If I know so many
Why don't they know me
They don't know me
Now I know what we're made of
Confusion, Complication, and Uncertainty
I thought this was real, I was wrong
So I don't'know