If it has ovaries in it's head - I won't eat it.
I never was a huge fan of seafood. Before my “condition” got really bad around the time when I was in fourth grade, I used to love the beach. Snorkeling, the whole nine yards. Anyway, the bottom line is, crustaceans always kind of scared me. I don’t know if anyone’s ever been face to face with a gigantic blue crab in the water, but that’s one mean motherfucker. I could never exactly bring myself to put him or any of his ancestors, closely related relatives, cousins twice removed or anything of the sort, into my mouth.
My grandfather’s been moping around the house for a few days now. He’s been somewhat depressed since the move. Thirty five years of being married to my grandmother and they still call each other everyday, more than once, just to say “I love you.” She’s at the new house in Virginia and he still hasn’t found a job up there. Every phone call, he says something along the lines of “You know, I didn’t marry you to be this far away from you.” It hasn’t even been a week yet. Thirty-five years and nothing’s changed, if you don’t count growing stronger and closer together.
My aunt, uncle and I decided to take him out to dinner last night. My granddad happens to love seafood. Naturally, the restaurant had one of those enormous tanks full of lobsters with rubber bands around their claws walking around at the bottom, waiting to die. I always felt kind of bad for them, until I looked at them closer and saw their beady little black eyes. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so tragic. The ones that hide underneath all of the other lobsters and the ones that play dead are the smart ones. Female lobsters carry the male’s sperm around for two years - - all the more reason for me not to eat them. That and I don’t take kindly to digesting anything with ovaries in it’s head.
According to the Which Something Corporate Song Are You? Test...
Morikami Japanese Gardens - Boca, FL (These were taken about a week and half ago.) :
Hm. Tyler with a box on his head.
That was the biggest iguana I've ever seen in my life.
Morgan and I compared belt-buckles:
His ^.
Mine. ^. We're gonna switch one day.
And that's the end of this pointless entry.