Dear Paul
Dear Paul,
I'm writing to let you know how much i care, To let you know that i know why this is happening, and that I'm so sorry about it all, I wasn't, as you said, the best girlfriend in the world. I just wish we could have one more chance and I'd prove to you I'd changed. I've stopped being jealous, I understand how we don't have to spend every waking moment talking to each other, I just liked talking to you, I don't need to hear you say you love me constantly, I was insecure, I wasn't sure, nothing as good as you has ever happened to me, I couldn't believe a guy as great as you...was interested in a nerd like me.
I love you paul, i love you more than life itself and would do anything for you, you've asked me to wait for you and I will, but the thought that still plays inside my head is, what if in the end...its not me you want? I'm hoping and praying every night that that isn't the case, that you do want to be with me, because this is killing me, not being with you. I know its just the same words over and over again but I can't think of any other to express just how much I'm hurting.
How much it hurt for you to say those words, that monday night. About you being second best. you've never been second best in my eyes, but i've always been second best in yours and I'm sorry paul, I'm sorry i felt this way, but i was ok with it, because I know they're your sisters. I know they come first no matter what. I just sometimes wanted to feel as special as them. I know if you ever read this reading that would hurt, maybe even make you hate me, but i can't help how i felt, just like you can't help how you feel. And notice the past tense in my statement. How i Felt. not feel. I've got over it. I guess i felt i had to fight for your attention because your sisters would always be better than me. I know thats wrong. I know its wrong and I feel terrible for it. I feel god awful for it actually. But i hope you see how awful i feel. and i hope you can forgive me.
I love you paul, so much, so much it hurts.
I love you, and I always will.
Love Always,
Your Nico xxxxx
I'm writing to let you know how much i care, To let you know that i know why this is happening, and that I'm so sorry about it all, I wasn't, as you said, the best girlfriend in the world. I just wish we could have one more chance and I'd prove to you I'd changed. I've stopped being jealous, I understand how we don't have to spend every waking moment talking to each other, I just liked talking to you, I don't need to hear you say you love me constantly, I was insecure, I wasn't sure, nothing as good as you has ever happened to me, I couldn't believe a guy as great as you...was interested in a nerd like me.
I love you paul, i love you more than life itself and would do anything for you, you've asked me to wait for you and I will, but the thought that still plays inside my head is, what if in the end...its not me you want? I'm hoping and praying every night that that isn't the case, that you do want to be with me, because this is killing me, not being with you. I know its just the same words over and over again but I can't think of any other to express just how much I'm hurting.
How much it hurt for you to say those words, that monday night. About you being second best. you've never been second best in my eyes, but i've always been second best in yours and I'm sorry paul, I'm sorry i felt this way, but i was ok with it, because I know they're your sisters. I know they come first no matter what. I just sometimes wanted to feel as special as them. I know if you ever read this reading that would hurt, maybe even make you hate me, but i can't help how i felt, just like you can't help how you feel. And notice the past tense in my statement. How i Felt. not feel. I've got over it. I guess i felt i had to fight for your attention because your sisters would always be better than me. I know thats wrong. I know its wrong and I feel terrible for it. I feel god awful for it actually. But i hope you see how awful i feel. and i hope you can forgive me.
I love you paul, so much, so much it hurts.
I love you, and I always will.
Love Always,
Your Nico xxxxx