I know its hard
I know its hard for him, Because he doesn't know how he's feeling and its awful for me to tell him how i'm feeling because it'll just confuse him more.
I feel awful about whats happening between us, everyone tells us we're a match made in heaven that we're just perfect for each other.
I know he knows its hard for me too, but i don't know if he knows just how hard it is, I know how i feel. I want to be with him forever and the sheer thought of not...its more than heartbreaking. I want to have kids with him, I want to say "I do" to him. I never once regretted being engaged to him, maybe he just wasn't ready. maybe he thought it meant he'd have to be tied down at only 21 years old, and it wouldn't have meant that at all. We could have still gone away places and lived our lives, short engagement or long engagement i don't mind as long as one day i married him.
but that dreams died out. the whole dream of getting married and having children and going to rome on honeymoon. its gone now. because unless we get back together, I'm not putting my heart through this again. It nearly died with dave, and its nearly dead again. I'm not going to go through this heartbreak again. It just hurts way too much.
Any guy i let in my life...leaves. and you want proof?
Grandpa.........left to god knows where
Grandad.........trapped with my grandma practically
dad.............left to vegas
brother!........living in the midlands not wanting any contact with me
1st boyfriend...died
2nd boyfriend...broke my heart and told me he never loved me
3rd boyfriend...never really felt for me
Any guy i'v ever let close to me has left me. its like i'm cursed. not even my best friend sticks around for that long, not that i blame him cuz its horrid here. Thats why i wanted to move to brighouse, because its not too far away from my mum, but its far enough so that i can have a new start, a new life. a life with paul. a life i'd always dreamed of.
But i must stop that. Dreaming. Cuz dreams don't mean anything anymore.
I feel awful about whats happening between us, everyone tells us we're a match made in heaven that we're just perfect for each other.
I know he knows its hard for me too, but i don't know if he knows just how hard it is, I know how i feel. I want to be with him forever and the sheer thought of not...its more than heartbreaking. I want to have kids with him, I want to say "I do" to him. I never once regretted being engaged to him, maybe he just wasn't ready. maybe he thought it meant he'd have to be tied down at only 21 years old, and it wouldn't have meant that at all. We could have still gone away places and lived our lives, short engagement or long engagement i don't mind as long as one day i married him.
but that dreams died out. the whole dream of getting married and having children and going to rome on honeymoon. its gone now. because unless we get back together, I'm not putting my heart through this again. It nearly died with dave, and its nearly dead again. I'm not going to go through this heartbreak again. It just hurts way too much.
Any guy i let in my life...leaves. and you want proof?
Grandpa.........left to god knows where
Grandad.........trapped with my grandma practically
dad.............left to vegas
brother!........living in the midlands not wanting any contact with me
1st boyfriend...died
2nd boyfriend...broke my heart and told me he never loved me
3rd boyfriend...never really felt for me
Any guy i'v ever let close to me has left me. its like i'm cursed. not even my best friend sticks around for that long, not that i blame him cuz its horrid here. Thats why i wanted to move to brighouse, because its not too far away from my mum, but its far enough so that i can have a new start, a new life. a life with paul. a life i'd always dreamed of.
But i must stop that. Dreaming. Cuz dreams don't mean anything anymore.