"Unwelcomed Memories", chapter 9 to 'Strangers'

[xelijahbabe07x]

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X2 or any of its characters. Sadly enough. I’d be a rich mofo by now.

Author: Senpai//xelijahbabe07x //beautiful nightmare07

Rating: This chapter, PG13. Overall, M.

Characters: Rikku, Gippal, main Final Fantasy X/X2 cast, some OCs, Gippal/Rikku

Author’s Note: Originally posted to ff.net. Wanted to post it to my community as well because I’m still debating on deleting my ff.net account and I want this in separate places. So, with that being said, this is the story. It’s based off the song, “Until We Ain’t Strangers Anymore” by Bon Jovi. Enjoy.

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Tidus was clutching at his head by the time she had joined the others out in the sunshine, "I feel like Auron is crackin' me over my head with that big ass sword he used to carry."

"Well it would serve you right; you all were drunken idiots last night, "Lulu grumbled, rocking the baby gently in her arms.

Wakka sighed, "Don't you think we've paid for it enough? We've got hangovers to last us a while, ya?"

Yuna couldn't help but giggle as Tidus wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down to sit on his lap, "Sucking up isn't going to let you off the hook."

Tidus tried his best to look pitiful, gazing up at her through his thick lashes, "We never get company. Surely you can let it pass this one time?"

Tamai was reclining against a tree when Rikku finally appeared, "Yrr, kuut sunhehk, cmaabo rayt. Tet oui cmaab famm?" (Ahh, good morning sleepy head. Did you sleep well?)

Rikku stared at him sheepishly for a moment, more than aware that he was speaking to her in a language that only the Al Bhed knew. Of course Tidus had attempted such a challenge while he had journeyed with them on their mission to defeat Sin, but the spunky blitzer had long since forgotten such dialect.

"Hud cu silr. Oui?" She asked, coming to stand beside where he sat. (Not so much. You?)

His eyes closed as he shrugged, "oui ymfyoc cmaab paddan frah oui'na tnihg." (You always sleep better when you're drunk.)

The former guardian gave him a slight laugh as she let out a groan, falling down into a sitting position next to him. He nudged her with his elbow, his blue eyes meeting with her green ones, "Wanna take a walk?"

It would have been rude to reject his invitation, and she had to face it, with the way she was feeling right now, some company would be greatly appreciated.

--

For a while they walked in silence, simply listening to the sounds of the sea faring birds and the rush of the wind as it whipped past them. But then it wasn't enough. The anger brewing inside of her quickly worked its way to her solemn surface, nearly passing from her mouth in a shrill shriek, "What is it with everyone not even bothering to wake me up this morning?"

Tamai's lazily-held eyes instantly widened as if he had just been woken from quite the daydream, "P-pardon?"

"Why didn't anyone wake me up?" She growled again, throwing him quite the distasteful look. It wasn't that she was displeased with him in particular but he definitely hadn't helped the situation. Her only friend in Djose had left her behind, whether or not he knew it yet.

"Rikku, you were sleeping so well, I just thought that you could use a little more rest-"

"Well you thought wrong, didn't you? Hmmm?" She asked, her voice quickly taking on a shaking quality as she stormed ahead of him, her long scarf licking at her heels as she distanced herself from him.

Tamai's brow fell together, his jaw clenching tight with his resolution, "Oh no, not this time," he whispered, chasing after her.

The angered blonde cast a hateful glance over her bare shoulders to find the mechanic giving chase after her.

"Not a chance, blitz-boy," She grumbled, her hands instantly fisting as she turned her focus back ahead of her, her lengthy legs instantly springing into a run.

He rolled his eyes at her effort. She was quick, yes, but he was much faster. She had long legs, definitely. But his were longer. She was more aerodynamic --well she had that going for her. His height definitely slowed his ability to break the wind bursts. But he didn't let it slow him. This was going to stop and it was going to stop here. He was tired of carrying someone else's burden for a crime he didn't commit or ever have the intention of committing, for that matter.

"Leave me alone!" Rikku snapped behind her, more than aware that he was closing the distance relatively quickly now.

"No, not until you stop!"

The back of her thighs were beginning to burn. Sure she could run for a long distance but quick sprints definitely weren't her forte. Apparently blitzball had aided in Tamai's endurance of such a task. He didn't seem to be slowing or did he have the intention of it.

"Stop, Rikku!" He tried again, his heels digging in a little further as he increased his pace.

"Just let me go!" She answered, her chest beginning to heat with the rapid beating of her heart and air flow. It was almost over. Any second now she was going to trip over some random stone and he would have her within his grasp.

…

If it was such a bad end result, why was she hoping for it?

"That's it!" He exclaimed, the distance finally close enough for him to reach her legs and tackle her to the ground. A technique he had learned when he had been just a boy in Luca. Tackling the opponent's legs didn't injure them, regardless of one's size or stature, and the target instantly became immobilized. It worked wonderfully in this case.

Rikku's chin fell into the soft, warm sand of Besaid, sending a few grains flying into the air. There it was again, that nasty taste of sand she thought she had long since forgotten.

She frowned as she spit out the bits that had been forced into her mouth upon her capture, "Get off of me!"

Even though she struggled, kicked, and pushed against him, he was turning her over onto her back, holding her wrists down to the sides of her head. "Calm down!" He grumbled, mounting her, thankful that he dodged a kick that had been aimed dangerously close to his playpen, as his mother had always called it.

"No, you calm down. How about you remove your person from atop of me and just let me be alone?"

"If you wanted to be alone then why did you accept to go on a walk?"

For that she had no answer. She didn't want company but she didn't want to be alone either. It was definitely an odd feeling she was sporting.

"It was a stupid idea. Let's just forget about it and go back to the village."

Tamai gave her wrists a subtle squeeze, earning another mewl of protest from her as her swirling green eyes of anger found his crystal blue ones, "Rikku-"

Just her name. A simple word that she had heard since she could remember. A name deemed for her the day she had been born. Never before did she have such a reaction to it being said. It was almost as if the name had been the key to her demise from the very beginning. Instantly a burning sensation warmed at the backs of her eyes. 'Not now!' She mentally warned herself, sniffing back the need to let the saline liquid fall from her eyes. She hadn't ever cried in front of a man since-

"Talk to me, please," Tamai breathed, his pants still a little uneven after his chase for the sly thief.

She shook her head meekly, nibbling on her trembling lower lip.

The Farplane help him, she was such a pain sometimes. But there was something about this woman that made him want to better himself; that made him want to make her smile at all times. The fact that she should ever have to frown, let alone cry, was more than he cared to think about.

"Please?" He asked again, releasing one of her hands to brush a layer of caked sand from her cheek.

"D-don't touch m-me," She choked out, her body instantly relaxing under his weight.

"There we go, at least I got three words," He cooed, tilting his head to the side, his black hair sweeping to the side a little with his curious gesture.

"That's all you'll get too!"

His eyes glinted with humor, "Ah! That was five! It's getting better!"

She grit her teeth and let a hiss of air pass through them, "Stop it, Tamai! You're being-"

"Charming? Funny? Enlightening?"

"CHILDISH!"

Immediately her eyes rounded at her own explosion. Tamai simply quirked an eyebrow, "Childish?"

She shook her head quickly, "N-n-no, I didn't m-m-mean that. I meant-"

"No, you meant childish."

Was he angry? She couldn't tell. Certainly it would have made her angry. Why would she choose to label him with one of Gippal's famous words? Why 'his' word?

"T-T-Tamai, I'm s-s-sorry."

He shook his head slightly, a small smile curving onto his mouth, "I'm not. At least I got you to talk. It's alright to let loose and have fun, Rikku. Too many people are serious. But if you notice, the children are always happy. Always taking time to notice the little things that surround them. If everyone acted a little more like children, Spira might actually be a better place."

"What is it that children notice?" She asked him, swallowing at the thickness in her throat. Surely she would know the answer to this typically, but Gippal had wounded her with the word so many times that she didn't take it as a compliment any longer. Her outlook on life had always been light and carefree, but with her return to Djose, things had taken a dire turn. But maybe…maybe Tamai could correct her misconception of the word. Maybe Tamai could shed light on the darkened subject. Maybe. Just maybe.

"Take a deep breath and let it out slowly."

Rikku stared at him incredulously, "Are you messin' with me right now?"

"Just do it!" He commanded, waiting patiently for the instruction to be followed.

Clearly agitated but in no position to argue with him, she did just that. A long breath in, a long exhale out. "Alright?"

"Did you feel that? Just the feeling of air filling your lungs, making it possible for you to live another moment?"

She blinked. All that from one breath?

"Children listen to the breathing of others constantly-- the heartbeats of a loved one. Children stop and take in their surroundings, memorizing the detail of the landscape, burning into their memory. Such beauty should never be forgotten, but as we grow older, and our concepts and priorities change, the scenery is quickly tossed to the side to be replaced with logic and mannerisms. Think, Rikku. Tell me one place that you remember, in the greatest of detail."

If she hadn't been so unsettled by the depth of his lesson, she would have been able to list off quite a few. But something about all of this had shaken her. Why couldn't she remember anywhere? …Wait! There was one memory.

"The…the lower levels of Home."

"What about them?" He asked her softly, his hands easing off of her wrists to settle beside her shoulders.

She closed her eyes, breathing in deeply, "They…they smell like grease and gasoline."

"Mmhmm."

"And dust. And sweat."

"Yeah-"

"And it's usually pretty dark, even in the daytime. And I'm usually afraid to go down there, but not that day."

"And what do you see?"

"I see…a room full of dismantled machina. I see tools covering the floor. There are rags hanging over the stair railings. A music sphere is in the corner. It's playing softly. It's a slower song. It's soothing."

"What else, Rikku? What do you feel?"

She took in another deep breath, her angered brow quickly fading into a serene expression. In the blink of an eye she had changed from an angered she-devil to a reminiscent school girl. It was quite a marvel.

"I feel…anxious. I'm not supposed to be down here without Vydran. But it's alright. He won't find me. I feel…scared. What if I don't do it right? I can't be bad at this."

"Keep going," Tamai purred, listening with great intensity at her fondest story.

"I feel…a warm hand touching my own. It's comforting. But it's nerve wracking. That hand is always so sure…I don't know how I'll ever compare. But it doesn't matter right now. All that I can feel is that moment. All I can see is the way the light bounces off the blond and green. All I can see is the flash of white teeth as they form a shy smile."

"What else?" He asked, his own breathing falling sporadically from his chest. This wasn't exactly what he had been hoping for but still, he had done this to better Rikku --to help her. It didn't matter what memory resurfaced as long as she could smile after it was all said and done.

"I'm shaking. I can't stop. I'm so embarrassed. He tells me that it's alright. He tells me that it's simple. But what if it's not simple? He always says it's easy when it's not. He's always lying. He's probably lying right now."

"He might not be-"

"That's what I think: 'what if he's not lying?' What then? Should I trust him? Why shouldn't I trust him? It's not like he'll hurt me. He always protects me, especially when Vinnie wants to pick on me. He always stands up for me. He always runs Vinnie away. He always tells me that Vinnie thinks he can bully me because I'm only seven."

He didn't even need to encourage her any longer. She was freely letting the memory fall from her mind, a pink tint on her face, her breathing increasing as she relived the moment.

"I like when he protects me. It makes me feel like I matter. But this…this is new. Does this mean he cares for me? If I let him do this, does this mean we're married? I can't cook yet! I can't even do the laundry yet. I'll be a bad wife. I won't make him happy. But still…I can't keep myself from wondering…would he make a good husband? Vydran won't like that I've married already. He'll say I'm too young. 'Seven year olds aren't allowed to be married yet!' But does this really mean we're married? Or does it just mean that we're really good friends? Or does it mean he thinks of me like Vydran thought of mother?"

She paused, almost just as unsure now as she had been then.

"He's touching my cheek now. His hand is shaking. So he's just as scared? He said he's done it plenty of times, though. Why should this time be so scary? It's just me. Just Rikku. I've always been just Rikku. But still, he's shaking. And he laughs, but it's not his normal laugh. It's a nervous laugh. I go to pull away but he shakes his head. So I stay still. 'Sorry,' he says, 'You just looked so confused.' He always blames it on me. And then, I can smell it-- the sweet scent of his hair. It always smells like rain. Even in the desert it remains perfumed that way. It's nice. 'Relax,' he tells me. I try but my heart won't stop pounding! And then, I feel it. It's moist. It's warm. It's…nice. I didn't know he had such a nice mouth. I mean it was nice to look at but I didn't know it felt so nice. Does mine feel that good? Does he like the way my mouth feels against his? Did his heart skip a beat too? Probably not. It's probably just mine. He said he’s done it lots of times, after all."

Tamai stared at her with awe at her description. The Rikku he had met her first day at Djose had faded and instead had been replaced with this innocent girl.

"He pulls away and then waits a minute for me to open my eyes. I didn't even know I had closed them. It's funny, you usually notice things like that. And then once I look at him, he smiles at me widely and winks, 'There ya go, kid. Now you don't haveta spend the rest of your life wondering what a first kiss is like. I spared ya the humiliation.'"

Then her eyebrows knit together again, but her smile remained constant, "So we weren't married after all. I hadn't done it wrong. He hadn't done it right. He had just been sparing me childish ridicule. He was protecting me again. He never really wanted to make me feel special…but that's alright. It was nice. I can still taste his mouth if I lick my lips. And it's enough. That, and the slight blush he's wearing, is enough to keep me happy. Even if I know that it didn't mean anything; evenif I know that I never stopped being Cid's kid to him; even if I know that I never meant anything to him. It's enough to know, that for one that split second, I had something that was unforgettable. Although it kind of hurts. But that's alright, I won't let him see me cry. Big girls don't cry and he likes big girls. So don't cry, be brave, Rikku. Keep smiling, even when he hurts you. Even when he makes fun of you in front of the others. Even when he's yelling at you. And even when he tells you that you're annoying. Keep smiling. Big girls don't cry."

And then it was over. The memory he had asked her to relive was finally exposed and finished. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, a red tint hinting inside her eyes. She smiled at him slightly, "Big girls don't cry," She murmured, the smile on her face faltering for the slightest of moments before plastering itself back into place. The redness instantly sobered itself from her eyes and she returned back to her normal self.

"Rikku-"

Instantly her arms sprang around his neck and she pulled him down to her, her face burying itself into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I just…I don't know what else to do," She whispered against his skin.

Tamai swallowed, listening to the sound of her heightened breathing, "It's alright, Rikku. Just always take time to remember things. And enjoy them. Look at life through the eyes of a child once in a while. You'll be surprised at the things you notice or finally see."

He felt her nod against him, "Thank you."

His chest rumbled as he chuckled slightly, "You're very welcome, Rikku."

Slowly he removed her arms from his neck and he returned to his feet. He held out his hand and helped her to her feet with one strong movement.

She brushed at her clothes frantically, clearing her throat all the while.

"I'm sorry my memory wasn't a different one, Tamai."

His eyes locked with hers. She was truly sincere-- truly sorry. Just the look on her face alone made his heart melt. Quickly he shook his head, smiling at her warmly, "Rikku, I didn't ask for you to pick which certain memory came to your mind. I told you to tell me what you remembered perfectly. It doesn't bother me that it was that memory. It's a very good memory."

Rikku's head tilted to the side, a rope of her braids falling just over her wrinkled forehead, "Really?"

He nodded firmly, "Sure."

"What's yours?"

He blinked, "Pardon?"

She shrugged, "Well what's yours, Tamai?"

His cheeks burned. Ok, now he was embarrassed. "I-"

"I won't make fun of you. You just heard my pathetic excuse for a memory. At least let me hear yours, it's only fair," She whispered, the pain of her relived memory still evident within her voice.

He cleared his throat again. It was only fair. "Well…it's warm. It's kind of sweltering sometimes but I don't mind. It doesn't seem so insufferable most of the time. It's only when I'm alone that I notice how horrible it is. There's machina parts everywhere. And there's blue light that flashes through the window at regular intervals. I used to hate it but once it started reflecting off of her I couldn't help but fall in love with the way it made her eyes sparkle. The way it made her teeth glow. And she's always smiling. And always laughing and joking. She's always talking. I like to hear her talk. It makes me smile too. And she's always there, looking for me out of a group of all the workers. Just me. Never anyone else. She values my friendship. And I hers. She makes me happy. I haven't been happy in a long time. So I enjoy her company. No, I live for her company."

Rikku stared at him with unblinking eyes as he gave her an embarrassed shrug, "Well…what can I say? You captivate me, Rikku."

"What memory is that one?" She whispered, taking a step towards him.

"Every one with you in it," He told her, his voice falling low under their new proximity.

The former guardian couldn't help but feel a little flattered, "I'm not as pretty as you seem to think, Tamai. The light probably distorts my features," She teased, throwing him a playful wink.

"No, Rikku," Tamai murmured, reaching up and touching her cheek, "...Oui'na payidevim." (You're beautiful.)

His head tilted to the side and his eyes fell closed as his mouth pressed over hers.

It was so sweet. Something she had dreamed of hearing a man say about her since she could remember. And of course she felt rather guilty because when he leaned in to kiss her, his ice blue eyes had seemed a light shade of green, his black hair turning blond, and an eye patch covering one of his beautiful eyes. Gods, she felt guilty. But it was too nice to push from her mind now. Tamai had faded from the world for the time being and Gippal was standing there, repentant of everything he had ever said and done, holding her, kissing her like he had that day down in the lower levels of Home; kissing her a way that she always dreamed he would. It was nice.

This time the smell of grease wasn't overpowering the scent of fresh air and the feel of anxiousness. No, this time it was perfect. If only it had been real.