oh boy..
So I just got a call back from my Dr about all the lab work they did last Wednesday and everything came back normal which means all in all, my baby is okay :). I've got my first ultrasound on Halloween at 9:30AM; me and Brian will both be off then. I wonder how much it'll be to get pictures and video..I am so excited, you just have no idea. Everyone's ALREADY buying us stuff. My baby is going to be SO spoiled! I wouldn't have it any other way! =D
. ... .. ....
Though, at the same time I'm sad. I keep thinking about it although I know I shouldn't. If he doesn't care, I shouldn't care. I'm still bummed that Matt and I, once again, fell out. This time I think it's permanant. That sucks, but oh well. I guess it's all for the better because I'm going to be a mommy in 7 months. *shrug* It still sucks because that's..what..6 years down the drain. I guess the friendship was never really a friendship then if it's going to end over something completely ridiculous without any warning..without any chance of making it better..and that's what sucks the most. I always believed that he was different..he wasn't like the rest. He listened to me, he made me laugh, he cared and made me feel better; he was there for me. 6 years of believing this just to find out it's all been in vein and it's all been a lie. But that's me- believing in people too much and expecting something just to be disappointed in the end. That's something I hate about myself although I try my damndest to prevent it: trusting people. I should know better by now. I really should.
. ... .. ....
Anyway, Matt, if you happen upon this, I just want you to know that I did/do value your friendship. I would like a second chance..
. ... .. ....
Though, at the same time I'm sad. I keep thinking about it although I know I shouldn't. If he doesn't care, I shouldn't care. I'm still bummed that Matt and I, once again, fell out. This time I think it's permanant. That sucks, but oh well. I guess it's all for the better because I'm going to be a mommy in 7 months. *shrug* It still sucks because that's..what..6 years down the drain. I guess the friendship was never really a friendship then if it's going to end over something completely ridiculous without any warning..without any chance of making it better..and that's what sucks the most. I always believed that he was different..he wasn't like the rest. He listened to me, he made me laugh, he cared and made me feel better; he was there for me. 6 years of believing this just to find out it's all been in vein and it's all been a lie. But that's me- believing in people too much and expecting something just to be disappointed in the end. That's something I hate about myself although I try my damndest to prevent it: trusting people. I should know better by now. I really should.
. ... .. ....
Anyway, Matt, if you happen upon this, I just want you to know that I did/do value your friendship. I would like a second chance..