(no subject)
"God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve (or Eve and Shirley)."
That is entirely true. God also neglected to create Cain or Abel (Adam and Eve did that bit), prosthetics, eyeglasses, cartoons, in vitro fertilization, wall-to-wall carpeting, stereo systems, computers, biology (did you know that according to the Bible a bat is a bird, you think with your heart, and your feelings come from your kidneys?), vaccines, paper, radios, cars, playground equipment, oxygen tanks, writing implements, CDs, seedless grapes, organ transplants, the English language, vacuum cleaners, electric fans, air conditioning, central heating, surgical tools, telephones, antibiotics, satellites, trains, deodorant, soap, guitars, insulin injections for diabetics, bottled water, bicycles, scissors, rayon, pianos, psychotropic drugs, prisons, hospitals, television, contact lenses, airplanes... shall I continue?
"Marriage is meant to create children."
Is it? What if one spouse is infertile? Are infertile people forbidden to marry? Why isn't sterilization (vasectomies or tubal ligations) illegal? Are condoms sinful? What about birth control pills? Shouldn't all those condom-using, birth control pill-popping people be hunted down and forced to repent? What happens when you become too old to reproduce? What about those people who get married but don't want children? Does adoption count, or is that "cheating"? What happens to people who have kids but aren't married? Do they explode?
"The Bible forbids homosexuality."
You mean here, right?
Leviticus 18:22-
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Looks to me like you're right. Anyone have any Canadian or Mexican slaves for sale? I could use some help in my fields.
Leviticus 25:44-
As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: you may buy male and female slaves from among the nations that are around you.
And make sure you inquire whether or not a woman is on the rag before you touch her. You have a right to know if you're going to be unclean for the rest of the day.
Leviticus 15:19-
When a woman has a discharge, and the discharge in her body is blood, she shall be in her menstrual impurity for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening.
"You can't love someone of the same gender."
Girls, tell that to your mothers, aunts, and sisters. Boys, tell that to your fathers, uncles, and brothers. And everyone- can you honestly say you don't love your closest friends? You can? Do they know that? Oh, now you're out of friends, huh? Hm. I wonder why.
"It's not natural."
If animals don't do it, neither should we, is that it? Well. Last I checked, animals didn't use silverware or electricity either. Nor do they cook or season their food, or keep other species in little boxes for members of their own species to come gawk at. They also occasionally eat their offspring. Oh, that's not what you meant? Well then, visit and read the article at http://www.bidstrup.com/sodomy.htm . Then come back and talk to me about "natural".
"Not marriage, why aren't civil unions enough?"
You subscribe to the "separate but equal" doctrine? I don't suppose you recall that "separate but equal" was judged to be anything but, and was unconstitutional to boot, do you? Racism is different from homophobia? No, it really isn't. They're both ridiculous forms of discrimination. You're not a homophobe, how dare I equate you with a racist? Well, if you're not afraid of homosexuals, you hate them for no reason. How does that make you any better than a racist? You say I'm twisting it? How?
"It's perverted and disgusting."
I think tomatoes are disgusting. The thought of eating one makes me want to throw up. I'm not going to dislike someone or want them to have fewer rights than me just because they eat a fruit I consider utterly nasty. No one is forcing me to eat tomatoes. Granted, I see other people eating them all the time. But I'm quite mature enough for their tomato-eating not to be relevant in my life. Their nutritional orientation is none of my business.
"Marriage is a religious institution."
Tell that to the happily wedded atheists and to the justices of the peace who performed the ceremonies. Try to call their kids bastards and see if you don't lose a few teeth. Didn't you ever hear of the wall of separation between church and state? Marriage is a LEGAL institution. It grants people LEGAL benefits along the lines of tax breaks, inheriting without major taxes or probate, and custody of children. It is entirely possible (and often done!) to have a wedding completely bereft of clergy. You were saying?
"I don't believe in it."
Then marry someone of the opposite gender. No gay person will push his or her beliefs on you by trying to stop you. Oh, that's not what you meant? What did you mean, pray tell?
"Homosexuality is a choice."
So, when and how did you decide that you were straight? What do you mean you didn't choose it? Isn't sexuality a choice? How do you know you wouldn't prefer to be gay if you just had a good gay lover? Maybe your parents brainwashed you into heterosexuality and you need to be sent to an "ex-straight" camp. I'll get right to work on that.
"Marriage is sacred."
Why hasn't anyone excommunicated Britney Spears (55-hour marriage) and Elizabeth Taylor (married six or seven times) yet?
"I don't want to think about two guys/two girls in bed."
So don't. No one will force you. Why are straight people so bloody obsessed with sex? Is your marriage all about sex? You never have a nice loving cuddle or a romantic dinner? You never have a nice family Christmas morning, or a Passover seder? Oh, PS to the frightened heteros- NOT ALL GAY OR BI PEOPLE WANT TO FUCK YOU. How conceited is that? Do you want to jump into bed with every member of the opposite sex that you see? Be secure in your ugliness and/or stupidity. If "People who are gay and of my gender will automatically want to have sex with me!" is lurking anywhere in what manages to pass for your brain, I can make you this promise: No gay person in his or her right mind wants anything to do with someone as retarded as you.
That is entirely true. God also neglected to create Cain or Abel (Adam and Eve did that bit), prosthetics, eyeglasses, cartoons, in vitro fertilization, wall-to-wall carpeting, stereo systems, computers, biology (did you know that according to the Bible a bat is a bird, you think with your heart, and your feelings come from your kidneys?), vaccines, paper, radios, cars, playground equipment, oxygen tanks, writing implements, CDs, seedless grapes, organ transplants, the English language, vacuum cleaners, electric fans, air conditioning, central heating, surgical tools, telephones, antibiotics, satellites, trains, deodorant, soap, guitars, insulin injections for diabetics, bottled water, bicycles, scissors, rayon, pianos, psychotropic drugs, prisons, hospitals, television, contact lenses, airplanes... shall I continue?
"Marriage is meant to create children."
Is it? What if one spouse is infertile? Are infertile people forbidden to marry? Why isn't sterilization (vasectomies or tubal ligations) illegal? Are condoms sinful? What about birth control pills? Shouldn't all those condom-using, birth control pill-popping people be hunted down and forced to repent? What happens when you become too old to reproduce? What about those people who get married but don't want children? Does adoption count, or is that "cheating"? What happens to people who have kids but aren't married? Do they explode?
"The Bible forbids homosexuality."
You mean here, right?
Leviticus 18:22-
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Looks to me like you're right. Anyone have any Canadian or Mexican slaves for sale? I could use some help in my fields.
Leviticus 25:44-
As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: you may buy male and female slaves from among the nations that are around you.
And make sure you inquire whether or not a woman is on the rag before you touch her. You have a right to know if you're going to be unclean for the rest of the day.
Leviticus 15:19-
When a woman has a discharge, and the discharge in her body is blood, she shall be in her menstrual impurity for seven days, and whoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening.
"You can't love someone of the same gender."
Girls, tell that to your mothers, aunts, and sisters. Boys, tell that to your fathers, uncles, and brothers. And everyone- can you honestly say you don't love your closest friends? You can? Do they know that? Oh, now you're out of friends, huh? Hm. I wonder why.
"It's not natural."
If animals don't do it, neither should we, is that it? Well. Last I checked, animals didn't use silverware or electricity either. Nor do they cook or season their food, or keep other species in little boxes for members of their own species to come gawk at. They also occasionally eat their offspring. Oh, that's not what you meant? Well then, visit and read the article at http://www.bidstrup.com/sodomy.htm . Then come back and talk to me about "natural".
"Not marriage, why aren't civil unions enough?"
You subscribe to the "separate but equal" doctrine? I don't suppose you recall that "separate but equal" was judged to be anything but, and was unconstitutional to boot, do you? Racism is different from homophobia? No, it really isn't. They're both ridiculous forms of discrimination. You're not a homophobe, how dare I equate you with a racist? Well, if you're not afraid of homosexuals, you hate them for no reason. How does that make you any better than a racist? You say I'm twisting it? How?
"It's perverted and disgusting."
I think tomatoes are disgusting. The thought of eating one makes me want to throw up. I'm not going to dislike someone or want them to have fewer rights than me just because they eat a fruit I consider utterly nasty. No one is forcing me to eat tomatoes. Granted, I see other people eating them all the time. But I'm quite mature enough for their tomato-eating not to be relevant in my life. Their nutritional orientation is none of my business.
"Marriage is a religious institution."
Tell that to the happily wedded atheists and to the justices of the peace who performed the ceremonies. Try to call their kids bastards and see if you don't lose a few teeth. Didn't you ever hear of the wall of separation between church and state? Marriage is a LEGAL institution. It grants people LEGAL benefits along the lines of tax breaks, inheriting without major taxes or probate, and custody of children. It is entirely possible (and often done!) to have a wedding completely bereft of clergy. You were saying?
"I don't believe in it."
Then marry someone of the opposite gender. No gay person will push his or her beliefs on you by trying to stop you. Oh, that's not what you meant? What did you mean, pray tell?
"Homosexuality is a choice."
So, when and how did you decide that you were straight? What do you mean you didn't choose it? Isn't sexuality a choice? How do you know you wouldn't prefer to be gay if you just had a good gay lover? Maybe your parents brainwashed you into heterosexuality and you need to be sent to an "ex-straight" camp. I'll get right to work on that.
"Marriage is sacred."
Why hasn't anyone excommunicated Britney Spears (55-hour marriage) and Elizabeth Taylor (married six or seven times) yet?
"I don't want to think about two guys/two girls in bed."
So don't. No one will force you. Why are straight people so bloody obsessed with sex? Is your marriage all about sex? You never have a nice loving cuddle or a romantic dinner? You never have a nice family Christmas morning, or a Passover seder? Oh, PS to the frightened heteros- NOT ALL GAY OR BI PEOPLE WANT TO FUCK YOU. How conceited is that? Do you want to jump into bed with every member of the opposite sex that you see? Be secure in your ugliness and/or stupidity. If "People who are gay and of my gender will automatically want to have sex with me!" is lurking anywhere in what manages to pass for your brain, I can make you this promise: No gay person in his or her right mind wants anything to do with someone as retarded as you.