mental anesthetics
swallow my heart. bury my thoughts. attempt to make it through each day with as little emotion as possible. take each of our experiences one by one and place them in a locked box in my head. hide the key in a place where ill stumble over it further down the road. keep the box locked until the memories are free from pain that so blatantly accompanies them now. ill never escape her smile though. thats the one that hurts the most and pops into my head most often. because i know i will no longer be the reason behind that smile. i really havent been for a while. i terribly regret not spending every ounce of my soul on her smiles. ive lost the best part of my life, because finally her love for me seems to have expired.