been like this for quite some time now...

[xtaycorexrcsex]

It seems like ever since I got in that car wreck, thats what my life has become, a giant car wreck.

I have lost touch on what it is to love life.

I found happiness briefly in you ( yes you ), but since I never see you, I never seem as happy as when we talk.

I dont even go to shows anymore. At a time in my life when I could really use a release, my so called "friends" can not give me rides or anything like that.

This just seems like a big bitch fest, but I guess you need to do these every now and again.

Here is some poems I wrote last night instead of jumping off the Gladstone Bridge :

REFLECTIONS
Did you ever stop and look at life?
Did you ever wonder what you were
What you are?
What you will become?
Why don’t we take the time to see the reflection?
Are we afraid what might be looking back?
Ill be honest and say I am.

BECOME MORE
Look beyond the past
Fear nothing in the future
Take a chance
To become something more
Become more than a person
Become a force
A force not to be messed with

HOPE
Life is a mystery
So we look to hope.
Hope is a dream
A dream for something better.
Dreams mean nothing
Unless you truly want them.
Unless they mean something to you.
So I guess what I am trying to say is
Make your dreams count.

CHANGE
We wonder this city looking for answers
To questions that we encounter
Fight for the chance to change
Change the chance into truth
For with real truth comes hope
And hope is what keeps us going
For now...