(no subject)
people have been asking what happend what happend. And Ive explaind it sooo many times now. Basically to make a short story even shorter, he just didn't feel the same way about me that I felt about him.
which is funny cause he is the one that said I love you first. and He is the one that jumped out the sun roof of his car on haloween night to tell me that he loved me and he is the one that made the first step into sexual explicetness that brought us to our knees. True it was a two way street, and we were both participants in the break down of what we had however it was not all me and it kinda huts that its seems that way.
Sex was never in our relationship, at least not of that kind but what we did share brough to many emotions that He felt was interfering.
So I cried and cried and cried, and he sat there solomly eating his dinner showing no emotion to the fact that what he told me in the past two months are now seeming to me to be lies.
to be perfectly honest, it all happend so fast that I dont even really know what happend but if he doesnt love me then I can not force something that is not there.
"If you love someting let it go, if it comes back its yours, thats how you know, it's for keeps, its for sure" Xtina "what a girl wants"
right now tho... as much as I want to say if he asked me out again right now I would say yes, I can't. I know I still have feelings for brad but because he does not feel the same to me then I shall forget them.
My last good memory with brad would have been sitting in the hatchback of his car on wednesday, listening to clasical music all cuddled together looking up at the night sky.
I wont bad mouth him. despite this trial, I still really do want to be friends and I will do all in my power to see that we are. However. its weird that everything I ever thought about love, is now out the window. and he is taking his sister to TSO.
I hope none of this changes how lary, pam, or kristi see me. I still think that they are wonderful people. and may God bless the entire hansen family.
Reading through brads journal its seems as tho he really thought he did love me. guess its tricky somesitmes. I tried alst night to get out of him if he still felt in any way for me but I was not about to blatently ask and he was not offering up any information that he didnt see fit.
I better go church is in a few. just one last comment I love how my icon is from the last time we broke up.. that same day hmmm funny how those things work out isn't it.
which is funny cause he is the one that said I love you first. and He is the one that jumped out the sun roof of his car on haloween night to tell me that he loved me and he is the one that made the first step into sexual explicetness that brought us to our knees. True it was a two way street, and we were both participants in the break down of what we had however it was not all me and it kinda huts that its seems that way.
Sex was never in our relationship, at least not of that kind but what we did share brough to many emotions that He felt was interfering.
So I cried and cried and cried, and he sat there solomly eating his dinner showing no emotion to the fact that what he told me in the past two months are now seeming to me to be lies.
to be perfectly honest, it all happend so fast that I dont even really know what happend but if he doesnt love me then I can not force something that is not there.
"If you love someting let it go, if it comes back its yours, thats how you know, it's for keeps, its for sure" Xtina "what a girl wants"
right now tho... as much as I want to say if he asked me out again right now I would say yes, I can't. I know I still have feelings for brad but because he does not feel the same to me then I shall forget them.
My last good memory with brad would have been sitting in the hatchback of his car on wednesday, listening to clasical music all cuddled together looking up at the night sky.
I wont bad mouth him. despite this trial, I still really do want to be friends and I will do all in my power to see that we are. However. its weird that everything I ever thought about love, is now out the window. and he is taking his sister to TSO.
I hope none of this changes how lary, pam, or kristi see me. I still think that they are wonderful people. and may God bless the entire hansen family.
Reading through brads journal its seems as tho he really thought he did love me. guess its tricky somesitmes. I tried alst night to get out of him if he still felt in any way for me but I was not about to blatently ask and he was not offering up any information that he didnt see fit.
I better go church is in a few. just one last comment I love how my icon is from the last time we broke up.. that same day hmmm funny how those things work out isn't it.