(no subject)
I just updated about 2 hrs ago. It's amazing how fast your emotions can change up on you. I went to Dan's house to get ready for Tatum's graduation thing, and in 5 minutes I wanted to go home. I was reminded of everything all of a sudden and I felt really trapped. I hate feeling like I have to be perfect for people to accept me. The only time I have fun is when I don't think about it and can just be myself. I wish everything wasn't still so fucked up with Dad, the whole thing with him is really not helping my self-image. I've been feeling a lot better lately, but I still feel so lonely sometimes. I can't stand feeling weighted down like this, I just wanna have fun and be myself. I'm gonna try and figure out something to do this weekend. Dan's leaving tonight. I feel bad for having left him on such terms...with me crying and everything. I think he thought it was his fault. One thing he said had triggered it, but it wasn't his fault it's just what it made me think of. He didn't even mean it in a bad way...I just hope I didn't make him feel like it was him making me cry. Well I'm gonna go lay down. I feel so dead and weak, and i want to feel better soon especially cuz tomorrow's Friday. I'm goin in after AP tomorrow (after 3rd). I luv you all..