This one's for Josie..
I seriously love my friends more than n e thing in the world. I don't kno what i'd do without them sometimes. 90% of the time, I feel like they're the only thing good in my life.
I'm so sick of stressing out over school and working so hard, just for nothing to swing my way. It's not that i'm doing bad or n e thing, i just knew i could do better this year than i did last year because of the circumstances. And even though i'm not completely "better", i'm a hell of a lot better than i was before.
And guys......wtf. what is wrong with them? Seriously, how come they're just genetically jackasses? why can't they just tell you how they feel instead of messing with your head? I don't know if i should just give up at this point, if it's even worth waiting around for. fuck. i wish i didn't care so damn much about everyone. (this isn't really true) It's just so frusterating sometimes. I want to be there for him, but it's like he doesn't allow me to...he never has. And I don't want to annoy him because god knows i kno how that feels. That makes you feel even worse.
And WHAT THE HELL> why do i have to go out with psycho fags????????? but..that's another story.
I just hate nights like this when I feel like no one wants me...(at least the ones that I love the most and care about) When I sit around wondering what to do with myself, half dressed at the computer, not knowing if n e one's even thinking about me. I have a feeling i'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight. But maybe I just need to. I haven't in a long time.
But ya kno, what is love n e ways? wtf was it? how are you supposed to classify your different relationships. how come i just didn't quit while i was behind....just not get into n e thing else? I kno i'm just human, but i just want a sign for what i'm supposed to do. And whenever I think i get one saying just to forget about the whole thing...something will happen to make me change my mind. Something telling me the complete opposite of what I had been thinking that I should do.
Well n e ways, Josie wanted me to update so there ya go. I wish i had something alittle more uplifting to write. I'm sure I will later. I'm gonna try posting some pics that I may have already..but some i haven't. Pictures of everyone always makes me feel better =)
haha...the end...i feel alittle better now. =)