Someone tell me there's a way out of this, PLEASE.
I GOT A FUCKING DILLEMA.
I'm fucking crushed.
October 1st of this year holds two bits of terrific news.
One, TrashLight Vision, Acey Slade's (of the Murderdolls) band is playing in providence.
Two, I have a show to play.
For a month now I've been planning to go down to Providence with Chelly and Chris to see Acey and the guys. Then since I joined this band with the others, we've been looking to play shows. TLV doesn't normally play shows that are available to me (it's a saturday, in prov., possibly free... and I already have a guaranteed ride too). This would be the second show I'd be playing with the guys and we're so much fucking better than before, and it's also exposure. I've been dying to see any of the 'Dolls and it'd be wonderful to see Ace in person and not just in a fucking video. Those of you who know me, know that fucking means a lot to me. It'd be super cool to play another show too and I'd be one step closer to what I want to do in the future.
That's why I told Erik I'd play the show.
If I go to the TLV show [absynthe!! and this other band are playing too. :)], the fact that I would be letting the guys down, piss them off, and piss myself off would make me regret not playing the show. At the same time, I can imagine me not giving a fuck and thinking, "I'm with my best friends at a show I've been wanting to go to, I'm face to face with Acey Slade, and I'm having a fucking awesome time." and that would just make me seem like an asshole to all those who've supported me playing the show. If I played the show and my friends went to the TLV show, I'd be super bummed out and the possibility of me going to that show would've just been another daydream that I'm so fucking determined to make come true. Another thing, if you know me, you'll know that I think things through to the point that I can't possibly regret my decision because I've analyzed it to death. This is too fucking hard. I actually don't know what to do. I told Erik yes, but at the same time I'm screaming no. There will be other shows we can play, sure. There aren't many times that a 'local band' that was made with Acey Slade get to play the east coast, let alone providence on a convenient day with at least two of my friends having the ability to give me a ride. It'd be so memorable to go to that show. Get pictures and perhaps, if I'm lucky or if it's cool, get to meet up with Ace. The show I'd be playing could either suck horribly, or be pretty good. Playing the show would feel good, yeah, but I'd be bummed out that I couldn't go to the TLV show.
The only way I can see this working out is if I just played the show, that way I would feel the same old sadness of wishing I could go to an awesome available show because if I didn't play it and I went to see TLV, I could be vulnerable to feeling guilt, anger, sadness, and regret.
I don't know what to do. Can someone please help me? Please.
I'm fucking crushed.
October 1st of this year holds two bits of terrific news.
One, TrashLight Vision, Acey Slade's (of the Murderdolls) band is playing in providence.
Two, I have a show to play.
For a month now I've been planning to go down to Providence with Chelly and Chris to see Acey and the guys. Then since I joined this band with the others, we've been looking to play shows. TLV doesn't normally play shows that are available to me (it's a saturday, in prov., possibly free... and I already have a guaranteed ride too). This would be the second show I'd be playing with the guys and we're so much fucking better than before, and it's also exposure. I've been dying to see any of the 'Dolls and it'd be wonderful to see Ace in person and not just in a fucking video. Those of you who know me, know that fucking means a lot to me. It'd be super cool to play another show too and I'd be one step closer to what I want to do in the future.
That's why I told Erik I'd play the show.
If I go to the TLV show [absynthe!! and this other band are playing too. :)], the fact that I would be letting the guys down, piss them off, and piss myself off would make me regret not playing the show. At the same time, I can imagine me not giving a fuck and thinking, "I'm with my best friends at a show I've been wanting to go to, I'm face to face with Acey Slade, and I'm having a fucking awesome time." and that would just make me seem like an asshole to all those who've supported me playing the show. If I played the show and my friends went to the TLV show, I'd be super bummed out and the possibility of me going to that show would've just been another daydream that I'm so fucking determined to make come true. Another thing, if you know me, you'll know that I think things through to the point that I can't possibly regret my decision because I've analyzed it to death. This is too fucking hard. I actually don't know what to do. I told Erik yes, but at the same time I'm screaming no. There will be other shows we can play, sure. There aren't many times that a 'local band' that was made with Acey Slade get to play the east coast, let alone providence on a convenient day with at least two of my friends having the ability to give me a ride. It'd be so memorable to go to that show. Get pictures and perhaps, if I'm lucky or if it's cool, get to meet up with Ace. The show I'd be playing could either suck horribly, or be pretty good. Playing the show would feel good, yeah, but I'd be bummed out that I couldn't go to the TLV show.
The only way I can see this working out is if I just played the show, that way I would feel the same old sadness of wishing I could go to an awesome available show because if I didn't play it and I went to see TLV, I could be vulnerable to feeling guilt, anger, sadness, and regret.
I don't know what to do. Can someone please help me? Please.