IM SO GOTH
"I'm so Goth..."
* I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.
* I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.
* I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."
* I'm so goth, I don't say "black," I say "blahhwwwkkk."
* I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.
* goth #1: I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.
goth #2: I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.
* I'm so goth people touch me and they BECOME goth. They say, "Oh no, now I'm goth!"
* I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.
* I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.
* I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.
* I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."
* I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?"
* I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.
* goth #1: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.
goth #2: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.
goth #3: What's a smile?
* I'm so goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"
* I'm so goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace."
* I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.
* I'm so goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry.
* I'm so goth I smoke cloves in the shower.
* goth #1: I'm so goth a little rain cloud follows me wherever I go and rains on me.
goth #2: I'm so goth I AM the rain cloud.
* goth #1: I'm so goth I got a tattoo of celtic knotwork starting at the top of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.
goth #2: I'm so goth I AM a tattoo.
* I'm so goth it takes me an hour and a half to get dressed.
* I'm so goth it takes me longer to get UNdressed.
* I'm so goth I'm dead.
* I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.(but... but... it is!!!)
* I'm so goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH."
* I'm so goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH."
* I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.
* I'm so goth I wore corsets in preschool.
* goth #1: I'm so goth I wonder if my dog's collar would look better on me.
goth #2: I'm so goth I KNOW my dog's collar looks better on me.
goth #3: I'm so goth I stole my dog's collar.
* I'm so goth, when I was born, I asked for a light for my clove.
* I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.
* I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance.
* I'm so goth parents leg their kids when they see them mesmerized by my appearance.
* I'm so goth I've been banned.
* I'm so goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, "the boom boom like shockalocka!!! . . . flibbaflobba!!!"
* I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be more goth.
* I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.
* I'm so goth I make flowers wilt.
* I'm so goth I like them better that way.
* I'm so goth I punched a care bear.
* I'm so goth I think saying "oh my goth" is cute.
* I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong.
* I'm so goth little old ladies in walkers cross the street to insult me.
* I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!
* I'm so goth I rooted for Gargamel.
* I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.
* I'm so goth that when I moved into Mr. Roger's neighborhood, he moved away!
* I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead.
* I'm so goth that whenever I walk into a room, you hear "Toccata and fugue in D minor."
* I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.
* I'm so goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, "the darkest dark of the dark darkness."
* I'm so goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.
* goth #1: I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.
goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a pulse.
* I'm so goth I know what PVC stands for. (Ironically, *I* do know that... Polyvinyl chloride (back of Chemistry textbook) XD
* I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling.
* I'm so goth I'm catholic.
* I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look cooler in black than them.
* I'm so goth tan lines are a sin.
* I'm so goth I was adopted by the Addams family
* I'm so goth people keep asking me if I feel okay.
* I'm so goth the dark is scared of ME.
* I'm so goth I know how to spell Siouxsie & The Banshees correctly.
* I'm so goth I . . . wear . . . my . . . sunnnnnglasses at night (sung with a Corey Hart pout).
* I'm so goth I became a fisherman, just so I could use fishnets.
* I'm so goth I want to die die die my hair black.
* I'm so goth I'm on the second stage of aloof . . . I'm "bloof."
* I'm so goth I sleep UNDER my bed.
* I'm so goth, Robert Smith asked ME for my autograph.
* I'm so goth I got a 12-pack of absinthe.(I want one!!!!)
* I'm so goth I don't eat gummy bears, I eat "glummy bears."
* I'm so goth I spend every waking moment, every breath, in contemplation of Goth. The totality of my being is at one with the essence of Goth.
* I'm so goth I dot my i's with frowny faces.
* I'm so goth I call a smile a "concave frown."
* I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
* I'm so goth my skin would catch on fire if it were ever exposed to sunlight.
* I'm so goth I make Happy Meals cry.
* I'm so goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear.
* My grandmother is so goth she uses gothballs.
* I'm so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap.
* I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella.
* I'm so goth I always complain because my blacks don't match.
* I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.
* I'm so goth that if I go out in the sunlight with bare skin showing, people have to put on shades because of the reflection off my pale skin.
* I'm so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side.
* I'm so goth that lightning strikes whenever I count things. MUH-HA-HA-HA!
* I'm so goth that in kindergarten I sang "woe, woe, woe your boat..."
* I'm so goth I have crushed velvet lawn chairs.
* I'm so goth I'm a flying buttress.
* I'm so goth that colors fade away when I am nearby.
* I'm so goth I only eat things that are burnt, because they're black.
* I'm so goth, when I was little, I thought funeral processions were parades.
* I'm so goth I make rainbows frown.
* I'm so goth my clothes are made of dark matter.
* I'm so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree--and it died.
* I'm so goth, when our teacher told us to write the declaration of independence, I wrote the declaration of sindependence.
* I'm so goth I sleep with my hands crossed on my chest.(like Wednesday Addams! XD)
* I'm so goth, crucifixes shudder when I walk by.
* goth #1: I'm so goth I changed my name to Mystryss Darque Wintyr Nyght Rayn Ravyn.
goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a name. I'm just "goth."
* I'm so goth I always use the word "goth" instead of "got."
* I'm so goth, my shadow ran away
**************************************
Punk kid: "Dude! I fucked your mom!"
Emo kid: "Dude! I fucked your mom! ...Why won't she call back?:("
Goth kid: "Dude! I fucked your mom! ...She died :'("
* I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.
* I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.
* I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."
* I'm so goth, I don't say "black," I say "blahhwwwkkk."
* I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.
* goth #1: I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.
goth #2: I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.
* I'm so goth people touch me and they BECOME goth. They say, "Oh no, now I'm goth!"
* I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.
* I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.
* I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.
* I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."
* I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?"
* I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.
* goth #1: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.
goth #2: I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.
goth #3: What's a smile?
* I'm so goth, when I was born, the doctor asked me, "What's with the shades?"
* I'm so goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace."
* I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.
* I'm so goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry.
* I'm so goth I smoke cloves in the shower.
* goth #1: I'm so goth a little rain cloud follows me wherever I go and rains on me.
goth #2: I'm so goth I AM the rain cloud.
* goth #1: I'm so goth I got a tattoo of celtic knotwork starting at the top of my head, winding all the way down my body, and trailing five feet behind me on the floor.
goth #2: I'm so goth I AM a tattoo.
* I'm so goth it takes me an hour and a half to get dressed.
* I'm so goth it takes me longer to get UNdressed.
* I'm so goth I'm dead.
* I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.(but... but... it is!!!)
* I'm so goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH."
* I'm so goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH."
* I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.
* I'm so goth I wore corsets in preschool.
* goth #1: I'm so goth I wonder if my dog's collar would look better on me.
goth #2: I'm so goth I KNOW my dog's collar looks better on me.
goth #3: I'm so goth I stole my dog's collar.
* I'm so goth, when I was born, I asked for a light for my clove.
* I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.
* I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance.
* I'm so goth parents leg their kids when they see them mesmerized by my appearance.
* I'm so goth I've been banned.
* I'm so goth nobody understands me, especially when I say, "the boom boom like shockalocka!!! . . . flibbaflobba!!!"
* I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be more goth.
* I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.
* I'm so goth I make flowers wilt.
* I'm so goth I like them better that way.
* I'm so goth I punched a care bear.
* I'm so goth I think saying "oh my goth" is cute.
* I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong.
* I'm so goth little old ladies in walkers cross the street to insult me.
* I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!
* I'm so goth I rooted for Gargamel.
* I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.
* I'm so goth that when I moved into Mr. Roger's neighborhood, he moved away!
* I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead.
* I'm so goth that whenever I walk into a room, you hear "Toccata and fugue in D minor."
* I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.
* I'm so goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, "the darkest dark of the dark darkness."
* I'm so goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.
* goth #1: I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.
goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a pulse.
* I'm so goth I know what PVC stands for. (Ironically, *I* do know that... Polyvinyl chloride (back of Chemistry textbook) XD
* I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling.
* I'm so goth I'm catholic.
* I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look cooler in black than them.
* I'm so goth tan lines are a sin.
* I'm so goth I was adopted by the Addams family
* I'm so goth people keep asking me if I feel okay.
* I'm so goth the dark is scared of ME.
* I'm so goth I know how to spell Siouxsie & The Banshees correctly.
* I'm so goth I . . . wear . . . my . . . sunnnnnglasses at night (sung with a Corey Hart pout).
* I'm so goth I became a fisherman, just so I could use fishnets.
* I'm so goth I want to die die die my hair black.
* I'm so goth I'm on the second stage of aloof . . . I'm "bloof."
* I'm so goth I sleep UNDER my bed.
* I'm so goth, Robert Smith asked ME for my autograph.
* I'm so goth I got a 12-pack of absinthe.(I want one!!!!)
* I'm so goth I don't eat gummy bears, I eat "glummy bears."
* I'm so goth I spend every waking moment, every breath, in contemplation of Goth. The totality of my being is at one with the essence of Goth.
* I'm so goth I dot my i's with frowny faces.
* I'm so goth I call a smile a "concave frown."
* I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
* I'm so goth my skin would catch on fire if it were ever exposed to sunlight.
* I'm so goth I make Happy Meals cry.
* I'm so goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear.
* My grandmother is so goth she uses gothballs.
* I'm so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap.
* I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella.
* I'm so goth I always complain because my blacks don't match.
* I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.
* I'm so goth that if I go out in the sunlight with bare skin showing, people have to put on shades because of the reflection off my pale skin.
* I'm so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side.
* I'm so goth that lightning strikes whenever I count things. MUH-HA-HA-HA!
* I'm so goth that in kindergarten I sang "woe, woe, woe your boat..."
* I'm so goth I have crushed velvet lawn chairs.
* I'm so goth I'm a flying buttress.
* I'm so goth that colors fade away when I am nearby.
* I'm so goth I only eat things that are burnt, because they're black.
* I'm so goth, when I was little, I thought funeral processions were parades.
* I'm so goth I make rainbows frown.
* I'm so goth my clothes are made of dark matter.
* I'm so goth I tried to be a hippie once and hugged a tree--and it died.
* I'm so goth, when our teacher told us to write the declaration of independence, I wrote the declaration of sindependence.
* I'm so goth I sleep with my hands crossed on my chest.(like Wednesday Addams! XD)
* I'm so goth, crucifixes shudder when I walk by.
* goth #1: I'm so goth I changed my name to Mystryss Darque Wintyr Nyght Rayn Ravyn.
goth #2: I'm so goth I don't have a name. I'm just "goth."
* I'm so goth I always use the word "goth" instead of "got."
* I'm so goth, my shadow ran away
**************************************
Punk kid: "Dude! I fucked your mom!"
Emo kid: "Dude! I fucked your mom! ...Why won't she call back?:("
Goth kid: "Dude! I fucked your mom! ...She died :'("