Fuck, thats the one thing I miss, ridiculously crazy people
I'm so bored so I'll tell you all about my crazy neighbour.
My neighbour, is crazy. She is about the only cool thing in London, because she is guaranteed free entertainment whenever I am bored.
Right now she's running up and down her stairs, screaming out a conversation with someone. She's been doing this since approx. 11 am when I left for thanksgiving. When I returned home, she was still running up and down the stairs screaming. It's now 2am, yesterday this is about when she passed out, but I'm confident she can beat her record.
Anyways, Saturday afternoon I was helping my mom get the lawn ready for winter, when my neighbour wanders over to me. My neighbour is a 70 year old woman, Italian, who sent me off to Ottawa with the warning that her mafia family runs the place, so I better not piss them off or I'll end up the same way Paul Martin apparntly did.
So I'm mowing the lawn and I hear screaming, and what sounds like slamming, then all of a sudden she bursts out the front door, runs over to me and starts with......
"I just threw the turkey out the window, it's no use dating a man 20 years younger than you, so I'm not going any more, I just got out of jail, I don't need this. Those people have ruined everything I had. He's too young for me, I've been in jail all this time. They ruined everything I had, my house, the world trade center, everything! I don't need it anymore, no use dating a man 20 years younger."
then she ran back inside and started running up and down the stairs, which as mentioned before has been going on since.
All in all, I can sum up everything I have learned about this woman's life in the last 4 years as follows:
- she comes from a mafia family, that runs Ottawa
- she won't go to Toronto, as Toronto police are actually Russians, as Toronto is overflowing with Chechen's
- helicoptors hover outside her windows at night
- she spent world war two giving blowjobs to Nazis
- for the past 4 years shes apparntly only had $2 to live on
- the Queen of England mows her lawn, but lately hasn't been showing up
- her family blew up the World Trade Center just to piss her off
- the Germans always seem to be coming, but apparantly her mother should stop worrying as they are'nt Jewish.
ALSO, Tommorrow, MONDAY is my last day in London most likely forever. I'm getting up early - 10ish, so fucking call me if you want to hang out.
My neighbour, is crazy. She is about the only cool thing in London, because she is guaranteed free entertainment whenever I am bored.
Right now she's running up and down her stairs, screaming out a conversation with someone. She's been doing this since approx. 11 am when I left for thanksgiving. When I returned home, she was still running up and down the stairs screaming. It's now 2am, yesterday this is about when she passed out, but I'm confident she can beat her record.
Anyways, Saturday afternoon I was helping my mom get the lawn ready for winter, when my neighbour wanders over to me. My neighbour is a 70 year old woman, Italian, who sent me off to Ottawa with the warning that her mafia family runs the place, so I better not piss them off or I'll end up the same way Paul Martin apparntly did.
So I'm mowing the lawn and I hear screaming, and what sounds like slamming, then all of a sudden she bursts out the front door, runs over to me and starts with......
"I just threw the turkey out the window, it's no use dating a man 20 years younger than you, so I'm not going any more, I just got out of jail, I don't need this. Those people have ruined everything I had. He's too young for me, I've been in jail all this time. They ruined everything I had, my house, the world trade center, everything! I don't need it anymore, no use dating a man 20 years younger."
then she ran back inside and started running up and down the stairs, which as mentioned before has been going on since.
All in all, I can sum up everything I have learned about this woman's life in the last 4 years as follows:
- she comes from a mafia family, that runs Ottawa
- she won't go to Toronto, as Toronto police are actually Russians, as Toronto is overflowing with Chechen's
- helicoptors hover outside her windows at night
- she spent world war two giving blowjobs to Nazis
- for the past 4 years shes apparntly only had $2 to live on
- the Queen of England mows her lawn, but lately hasn't been showing up
- her family blew up the World Trade Center just to piss her off
- the Germans always seem to be coming, but apparantly her mother should stop worrying as they are'nt Jewish.
ALSO, Tommorrow, MONDAY is my last day in London most likely forever. I'm getting up early - 10ish, so fucking call me if you want to hang out.