(no subject)
Age 17___ (If you are under the age of 12, you need not apply. If you're over 40, PLEASE ANSWER IN DETAIL)
Gender _F__ (Males, please proceed. Girls... you may proceed as well)
Height 5_'5_"_
Hair Color blonde______
Eye Color baby blue_____
Level of Education ___Junior_____
Current Employment ___waitress_____
Current Location _____middle of fucking nowhere.______
Religious Orientation ____interdenominational_____
On a scale of 1 to 10 how important is religion to you: 3
Please answer the following in essay form, stating reasons and providing back-up evidence for those reasons.
1. Do you like fat men? from a distance...theyre...ehh.ok
2. How do you feel about living in poverty? Happiness is all you need...ever.
3. Simple mathematics: [(5+63+198)/13]*7 = __ (Please answer in scientific notation)
3b. 2 + 2 = _4__
4. Would it bother you if I wore shoes to bed? Not if you rolled over and didnt face me or touch me but im so obsessive id KNOW they were on so id make you take them off.
4b. How about earmuffs? are you intimate?
4c. Sunglasses? i dont date blind guys...
5. Do you like to wear tiaras? only when i feel pretty
5b. Would you let me borrow yours? if it were real diamonds???not on your life lol.
6. Do you have any knowledge of chemistry? yea i feel it when i look at _him_
6b. Would you be able to whip me up some illegal sedatives? yea just go to my back yard
7. What is the best thing about you?
personality? spontanious. Physical? Eyes.
7b. And the worst thing? I know what im capable of...but i would never do it to _him_
8. What song would be our song?ive only had one song with someone and we arent together..i think it jinxed us lol.something from UCT probably.
9. It's 6:00pm in Orange County, CA (you were rockin' the OC) and you have to be at a costume party in Tampa, Fl at 5:00pm, to what coordinate would you set your time machine to make sure you get to the party on time with a She-Ra (Princess of Power) costume? 4 hours prior
10. I go on many "girlfriend" interviews. I am running out of money. Would you pay for the meal? Yes i would...
11. Do you have any special powers (à la Harry Potter)? i make guys fall in love with me...i USED to be a heartbreaker before _him_
12. Have you ever had the nickname "The Mistress of Pain"? No but i did have one that was Carrot..lol dont ask.
13. Where is the happiest place on earth? in the arms of someone that loves me...
14. Where do you see yourself in 286 years? shriveled and in a box..
Please specify the following:
Do you have...
Funky nose hairs? negative
A mezzobrow (à la Bert)? negative
Tattoos? (if yes, please specify)NO BUT IM CRAVING IT.
Piercings? (if yes, please specify) ive got one uhm..yea and another on my belly button...soon to be gettin a Monroe
A full set of teeth? (dentures count) affirmative
A winning smile? you tell me...
A winning scowl? hmm...
A lisp? NNNNNAda
A mustache? nope
College Loan? scholarship
A sense of humor? fuck yea i do
Any angry ex-boyfriends? uh yea...shea..
A father with a handgun? wish i had a father....
A really annoying laugh? no but a chick at my work sounds like Woody Woodpecker.
A criminal record? i thought i paid for the gum i mean...cmon it was just gum...and uh maybe a bag of chips and..like pshh a soda..i mean cmon..
If yes, does this record include:
Jaywalking? ppftt i dont even stop at red lights in my car..and you think im worried about Jaywalking...
Speeding? i just got a 205 dollars speeding ticket..you tell me.
Shoplifting? See:criminal record
Indecent exposure? *smirk*
Assault with a deadly weapon? uhm noooo thatd be a big negative
Prostitution? again with the negative
Mental disorders? i have a case of ILLKICKYOURFUCKINGASS.
Depression? affirmative...
Crabs?...wtf kinda question...hell no
A really skimpy bikini? definitly
A good bikini wax? razor is my choice...
Modesty issues? nada
ADD or ADHD? both damnit..
Open-ended section
Please explain what "gettin' jiggy wit it" means to you, on a personal level.gettin down to your underwear blaring the music and acting as DUMB and out there as you can until you laugh uncontrollably..just because you know you can..
Why should I consider you for the title of my girlfriend?
you shouldnt...i cant...i wont..because of _him_
Please tell me anything else that would help your chance of being my new girlfriend.
....uhm...fuck yourself?
Do you have any questions for me?
yea...which ways the bathroom?
Gender _F__ (Males, please proceed. Girls... you may proceed as well)
Height 5_'5_"_
Hair Color blonde______
Eye Color baby blue_____
Level of Education ___Junior_____
Current Employment ___waitress_____
Current Location _____middle of fucking nowhere.______
Religious Orientation ____interdenominational_____
On a scale of 1 to 10 how important is religion to you: 3
Please answer the following in essay form, stating reasons and providing back-up evidence for those reasons.
1. Do you like fat men? from a distance...theyre...ehh.ok
2. How do you feel about living in poverty? Happiness is all you need...ever.
3. Simple mathematics: [(5+63+198)/13]*7 = __ (Please answer in scientific notation)
3b. 2 + 2 = _4__
4. Would it bother you if I wore shoes to bed? Not if you rolled over and didnt face me or touch me but im so obsessive id KNOW they were on so id make you take them off.
4b. How about earmuffs? are you intimate?
4c. Sunglasses? i dont date blind guys...
5. Do you like to wear tiaras? only when i feel pretty
5b. Would you let me borrow yours? if it were real diamonds???not on your life lol.
6. Do you have any knowledge of chemistry? yea i feel it when i look at _him_
6b. Would you be able to whip me up some illegal sedatives? yea just go to my back yard
7. What is the best thing about you?
personality? spontanious. Physical? Eyes.
7b. And the worst thing? I know what im capable of...but i would never do it to _him_
8. What song would be our song?ive only had one song with someone and we arent together..i think it jinxed us lol.something from UCT probably.
9. It's 6:00pm in Orange County, CA (you were rockin' the OC) and you have to be at a costume party in Tampa, Fl at 5:00pm, to what coordinate would you set your time machine to make sure you get to the party on time with a She-Ra (Princess of Power) costume? 4 hours prior
10. I go on many "girlfriend" interviews. I am running out of money. Would you pay for the meal? Yes i would...
11. Do you have any special powers (à la Harry Potter)? i make guys fall in love with me...i USED to be a heartbreaker before _him_
12. Have you ever had the nickname "The Mistress of Pain"? No but i did have one that was Carrot..lol dont ask.
13. Where is the happiest place on earth? in the arms of someone that loves me...
14. Where do you see yourself in 286 years? shriveled and in a box..
Please specify the following:
Do you have...
Funky nose hairs? negative
A mezzobrow (à la Bert)? negative
Tattoos? (if yes, please specify)NO BUT IM CRAVING IT.
Piercings? (if yes, please specify) ive got one uhm..yea and another on my belly button...soon to be gettin a Monroe
A full set of teeth? (dentures count) affirmative
A winning smile? you tell me...
A winning scowl? hmm...
A lisp? NNNNNAda
A mustache? nope
College Loan? scholarship
A sense of humor? fuck yea i do
Any angry ex-boyfriends? uh yea...shea..
A father with a handgun? wish i had a father....
A really annoying laugh? no but a chick at my work sounds like Woody Woodpecker.
A criminal record? i thought i paid for the gum i mean...cmon it was just gum...and uh maybe a bag of chips and..like pshh a soda..i mean cmon..
If yes, does this record include:
Jaywalking? ppftt i dont even stop at red lights in my car..and you think im worried about Jaywalking...
Speeding? i just got a 205 dollars speeding ticket..you tell me.
Shoplifting? See:criminal record
Indecent exposure? *smirk*
Assault with a deadly weapon? uhm noooo thatd be a big negative
Prostitution? again with the negative
Mental disorders? i have a case of ILLKICKYOURFUCKINGASS.
Depression? affirmative...
Crabs?...wtf kinda question...hell no
A really skimpy bikini? definitly
A good bikini wax? razor is my choice...
Modesty issues? nada
ADD or ADHD? both damnit..
Open-ended section
Please explain what "gettin' jiggy wit it" means to you, on a personal level.gettin down to your underwear blaring the music and acting as DUMB and out there as you can until you laugh uncontrollably..just because you know you can..
Why should I consider you for the title of my girlfriend?
you shouldnt...i cant...i wont..because of _him_
Please tell me anything else that would help your chance of being my new girlfriend.
....uhm...fuck yourself?
Do you have any questions for me?
yea...which ways the bathroom?