Better days
So lately things have been getting better for me. I have been extremely happy since I pieced together that Melissa and her friend Meg are dating, it doesn't phase me at all. :) I actually told her over the phone that I am happy for her and figured that they would eventually end up dating. While we were dating, when I would go visit, they were always really flirty (didn't bother me) and I jokingly always would ask, "Should I be concerned about you and Meg?" So I kind of knew that they would end up dating.
As for me in the dating aspect, my focus has been temporarily put on the back burner because well, I'm taking things as they come to me, not me going to look for it anymore. As I see it, good things come to those who wait, and well I'm waiting so eventually a good thing will come along, and the feelings I have for someone will be mutual and vice versa (someone likes me I like them back in the same way.) I've gotten past the point where everyone I meet who is gay will like me and that I'll develop a crush on them. It doesn't work that way. Some of them become good friends, other interests which don't go anywhere, others they do work out. I am just playing my cards which have been dealt to me and we'll see how things go.
I'm looking forward to going to Vermont for a mini-vacation, followed by potentially a trip to NH on that Saturday to visit/hang out with my friend Ashley because well, I love and miss her mucho!! I have reconnected with so many people who I had lost, mainly because of me being too busy, being in a relationship, etc. and it is really good for me to reconnect with old friends. They know so much about me and understand me so much better than a few of the new friends I've acquired and they know how to help me in difficult times. Most of them went through my mental breakdown with me in high school and a few of them are still around, although I may not see them all too often, other "old" friends are the ones who I've become close to in the past 4 years. I don't regret making friends with any of them, because they are all so amazing and fill a void in my life, whether in the same or different ways. They are all a part of my second family and are so important to me.
I have reached a stepping stone, I'm starting to work through my depression, the therapy is working, but also this reconnection with the people from my past is also helping. The only thing that I dislike about my life right now is my job. I know, I just started it in August, but I think I have finally moved past the point of retail and need to move onto bigger and better things/different things. I am going to call and schedule an interview with a chiropractic office in North Easton for a full time receptionist position, which means, A) guaranteed 40 hours a week and B) a pay increase. I'm not sure if I'll get it, but it would definitely be nice for a change from the everyday routine that I currently live. I have reached the point where I'm bored everyday of my life at work and I can't stand it anymore. Also, my supervisors do jack shit when I work with them, which has added stress. Another thing that has bothered me about my workplace is that my assistant manager who has never said anything towards me, has been making comments to an older woman who does tasting, aka demos food etc., about her and her friend who work there as well as other people this woman knows. On Wednesday night, she told me she went to the goodbye thing for the deli manager who was leaving and the asst. manager said, "M, where's Dot? I thought you'd bring her with you," insinuating that they were a "couple" and then yesterday her friend wanted to apply to be a taster and so she was talking to him about applying and M got her phone number and information and after M.'s friend left, he said, as she was about to hand him the paper, "I think she'd rather have you call her," which totally made her uncomfortable. She told me about this and I got so pissed off, because well, she called me over and was like, "I have a question to ask you." I was like, "Okay, well I might have an answer," joking around with her, because that's how we are. "Has J made any comments to you?" she asked me and I was like, "No, what kind of comments?" She then told me all of that above and she could tell I was quite upset and surprised. Here is an older woman, probably in her mid 60's and she's getting shit for being gay (I didn't know she was until yesterday and I had met her partner hahaha.) She also preceded to tell me about the deli manager and how one day they were talking about marriage in the bakery and she was adding her two cents that she was married 2x and the deli manager said, "Well, you're just a whore." Totally uncalled for, seeing as she's been with her partner for 15 years. So I am going to take it upon myself to find her next time she's working and keep track of occurrences between her and the asst. manager, and if it happens again I'm going to go to the human resources manager (if I don't tomorrow) and talk to her about the situation. M doesn't really know what to do and the fact she came to me shows her trust in me so I don't know if I should really go to the ARM and tell her without checking with her first, considering I said there could be a logical reason for why he's doing this, i.e. a bad week or something, but I made sure to tell her I wasn't dismissing this and that it really did piss me off. Then we were talking about me and she asked if I was still with my gf and I said no, that we broke up in December, but its okay.
I really would like to work in the field protecting the LBGTQ community and make sure shit like this doesn't happen. It's a passion and something I really enjoy and am very aware of things that go on and the way things could be prevented. There is no reason for people to judge people by who they like, they should like a person for who they are. I really am big on equality and equal place in the work place. I quit a job for sexual harassment and a rumor that was flying around about me "making out" with someone in the front end in front of customers. Completely untrue considering at the time the rumor started I was on Thanksgiving break. There will always be homophobic people in this world, but honestly, it would be nice to not have to worry everyday whether or not someone was talking about you behind your back for being gay, or judging you/holding higher expectations of you in the work place. I feel that I have to work 2 times as hard as my supervisors at my job to be recognized and that doesn't even happen anymore. I was recognized once by my grocery manager for how hard I work and that he doesn't really see my supervisor working as hard as I do, that he just walks around, and I made a point to let him know that I have noticed it too and that it aggravates me. It's crazy that in such modern times that we still live this way, no, it isn't crazy, it's disgusting. Why can't people get past who people are attracted to and that they spend their life dating someone? Heterosexual people for forever are allowed to live in peace, minus the culture wars over Caucasian people dating an African American, or a Latino, or Asian member of society, or even based on religion. People cannot help who they are attracted to, regardless of age, sex, race, ethnicity or religious preference. I cannot stand it anymore and really want to go and get this taken care of/addressed. Okay, enough angry ranting and raving, lol. If you have any thoughts, please let me know. :)
As for me in the dating aspect, my focus has been temporarily put on the back burner because well, I'm taking things as they come to me, not me going to look for it anymore. As I see it, good things come to those who wait, and well I'm waiting so eventually a good thing will come along, and the feelings I have for someone will be mutual and vice versa (someone likes me I like them back in the same way.) I've gotten past the point where everyone I meet who is gay will like me and that I'll develop a crush on them. It doesn't work that way. Some of them become good friends, other interests which don't go anywhere, others they do work out. I am just playing my cards which have been dealt to me and we'll see how things go.
I'm looking forward to going to Vermont for a mini-vacation, followed by potentially a trip to NH on that Saturday to visit/hang out with my friend Ashley because well, I love and miss her mucho!! I have reconnected with so many people who I had lost, mainly because of me being too busy, being in a relationship, etc. and it is really good for me to reconnect with old friends. They know so much about me and understand me so much better than a few of the new friends I've acquired and they know how to help me in difficult times. Most of them went through my mental breakdown with me in high school and a few of them are still around, although I may not see them all too often, other "old" friends are the ones who I've become close to in the past 4 years. I don't regret making friends with any of them, because they are all so amazing and fill a void in my life, whether in the same or different ways. They are all a part of my second family and are so important to me.
I have reached a stepping stone, I'm starting to work through my depression, the therapy is working, but also this reconnection with the people from my past is also helping. The only thing that I dislike about my life right now is my job. I know, I just started it in August, but I think I have finally moved past the point of retail and need to move onto bigger and better things/different things. I am going to call and schedule an interview with a chiropractic office in North Easton for a full time receptionist position, which means, A) guaranteed 40 hours a week and B) a pay increase. I'm not sure if I'll get it, but it would definitely be nice for a change from the everyday routine that I currently live. I have reached the point where I'm bored everyday of my life at work and I can't stand it anymore. Also, my supervisors do jack shit when I work with them, which has added stress. Another thing that has bothered me about my workplace is that my assistant manager who has never said anything towards me, has been making comments to an older woman who does tasting, aka demos food etc., about her and her friend who work there as well as other people this woman knows. On Wednesday night, she told me she went to the goodbye thing for the deli manager who was leaving and the asst. manager said, "M, where's Dot? I thought you'd bring her with you," insinuating that they were a "couple" and then yesterday her friend wanted to apply to be a taster and so she was talking to him about applying and M got her phone number and information and after M.'s friend left, he said, as she was about to hand him the paper, "I think she'd rather have you call her," which totally made her uncomfortable. She told me about this and I got so pissed off, because well, she called me over and was like, "I have a question to ask you." I was like, "Okay, well I might have an answer," joking around with her, because that's how we are. "Has J made any comments to you?" she asked me and I was like, "No, what kind of comments?" She then told me all of that above and she could tell I was quite upset and surprised. Here is an older woman, probably in her mid 60's and she's getting shit for being gay (I didn't know she was until yesterday and I had met her partner hahaha.) She also preceded to tell me about the deli manager and how one day they were talking about marriage in the bakery and she was adding her two cents that she was married 2x and the deli manager said, "Well, you're just a whore." Totally uncalled for, seeing as she's been with her partner for 15 years. So I am going to take it upon myself to find her next time she's working and keep track of occurrences between her and the asst. manager, and if it happens again I'm going to go to the human resources manager (if I don't tomorrow) and talk to her about the situation. M doesn't really know what to do and the fact she came to me shows her trust in me so I don't know if I should really go to the ARM and tell her without checking with her first, considering I said there could be a logical reason for why he's doing this, i.e. a bad week or something, but I made sure to tell her I wasn't dismissing this and that it really did piss me off. Then we were talking about me and she asked if I was still with my gf and I said no, that we broke up in December, but its okay.
I really would like to work in the field protecting the LBGTQ community and make sure shit like this doesn't happen. It's a passion and something I really enjoy and am very aware of things that go on and the way things could be prevented. There is no reason for people to judge people by who they like, they should like a person for who they are. I really am big on equality and equal place in the work place. I quit a job for sexual harassment and a rumor that was flying around about me "making out" with someone in the front end in front of customers. Completely untrue considering at the time the rumor started I was on Thanksgiving break. There will always be homophobic people in this world, but honestly, it would be nice to not have to worry everyday whether or not someone was talking about you behind your back for being gay, or judging you/holding higher expectations of you in the work place. I feel that I have to work 2 times as hard as my supervisors at my job to be recognized and that doesn't even happen anymore. I was recognized once by my grocery manager for how hard I work and that he doesn't really see my supervisor working as hard as I do, that he just walks around, and I made a point to let him know that I have noticed it too and that it aggravates me. It's crazy that in such modern times that we still live this way, no, it isn't crazy, it's disgusting. Why can't people get past who people are attracted to and that they spend their life dating someone? Heterosexual people for forever are allowed to live in peace, minus the culture wars over Caucasian people dating an African American, or a Latino, or Asian member of society, or even based on religion. People cannot help who they are attracted to, regardless of age, sex, race, ethnicity or religious preference. I cannot stand it anymore and really want to go and get this taken care of/addressed. Okay, enough angry ranting and raving, lol. If you have any thoughts, please let me know. :)