i eat too much, i drink too much, want too much.. too much
hmph. its not fair. not fair at all. i want to be at the shithole with everyone instead of here. as much as i love it here and as much as skank mary is shitty, i'd rather be there. you have no idea how much i just wanna cry for days on end when people tell me that they look for me in the halls or how it's weird sitting without me at lunch. or that someone thinks they see me in the halls but then they realize it's not me. or when people ask my friends if they hung out with me this summer and how i'm doing. bah. i'm crying now as a matter of fact. no one should have to go through this. leave right during the middle of their high school "career". its too much pain for the heart to undergo. not only leaving during high school but after being in the same place for the past 15 years and have been friends for 5-15 years :( bah. i have so many holes in my heart right now. and i miss my brothers so incredibly much. its unbelievable. i cant do this anymore. i really cant. i've tried to deal with this and it just isnt working for me. not one bit.